I am currently on the Greyhound on my way back from visiting Sam for Christmas. Rider will be picking me up from the bus station, and I am super excited to see him.
My visit with Sam was really nice! Wednesday, he picked me up from the bus stop shortly before sundown, and I was so glad to see him. Usually he is so quiet, but he must have been excited to see me too, because we had no shortage of things to say to one another. There were even times when he cut me off in his eagerness to interject something!
We got back to his place, and immediately we cracked open a couple of beers. He showcased his substance collection to me, and we indulged in a bit of this and a bit of that. I messaged a bit with Rider, who was off having his own substance-fueled voyage with Claire and the couple that they sometimes hang out with (with whom they've talked about hooking up, but it hasn't happened yet).
Sam and I chatted and drank and drank and chatted, listening to music and watching YouTube videos together. Eventually, we kissed a little, then just went back to chatting. At one point, he looked at me and said, "If I seem a little weird, it's because I am not used to love. You're used to love. I'm a lonely bastard." And in that moment, I was so glad that everything went down the way that it did and I got to be there to keep him company.
Before it got very late, we both decided that it's time for bed. We were both tired, but beyond that, I think we were both feeling the unspoken slow burn of desire ramping up. He'll never say as much out loud, and my saying it out loud would force him to acknowledge it, so I didn't. Once in bed, we finally had sex for the first time in a real bed without Rider there. In his silent way, he used his body to speak to me. We played for a while, then both realized we were too tired to keep going, and we settled to sleep.
Sleeping next to him isn't easy like it is with Rider. He doesn't tolerate cuddling well, and I automatically sleep-cuddle. He is so passive, he wouldn't tell me no, but I noticed that he rested easier when I wasn't touching him, so I kept waking and forcing myself to my own side. Neither of us slept well, I don't think.
When it was sufficiently daylight, we established that we were both awake and resumed cuddling. Sober, deliberate, daylit, I decided that the first thing he'd get for Christmas should be a blowjob.
He responded well, and it was super-hot to know that I'd finally gotten him off, after five months of sporadic hooking up and things never having been comfortable enough. I held that memory in my mind in the days that followed, turning it over like a prize.
We got up, and I cooked breakfast: huevos rancheros. We poured Kahlua in our coffee and watched kids' Christmas movies. We sat on his porch and played with his cat. Eventually, it was time to get ready to go see his dad. I asked him up front whether it would be cool if I showed affection in front of his dad, and he said his dad was an "old '70s guy" who was really chill and wouldn't care. Part of the reason I'd asked is because I'd met his brother not long ago when Rider and I came up to visit, and we'd kept things pretty down-low. His brother I think mostly thinks of me as Rider's girlfriend, though he did at one point come outside to find me topless in the hot tub with both of them. So that conversation was me giving Sam an "out" if he'd rather not open that can of worms.
Almost from the moment we pulled up, I knew that I was going to like Sam's dad. Much shorter than Sam, with a long white ponytail and a strong resemblance to Sam's brother, he returned my hello hug like he meant it, not as though it were a perfunctory greeting. His house was really interesting, with lots of eclectic art everywhere and a big, beautiful, wild yard. He gave us (mostly me, with side commentary to Sam about changes) the grand tour while we sipped drinks.
Eventually, Sam and I collaborated on cooking a tasty Indian meal (well, he mostly separated cilantro from its stem and refilled my cocktail, but that was still helpful). It was fun working in the kitchen with him and sneaking little bits of affection here and there. We had a nice dinner, just the three of us, at a small, round dining room table. His dad remarked on how nice it was to have a woman around when he was used to their Christmas dinners just being "a couple of bachelors with a roast chicken and instant potatoes."
After dinner, Sam and I cleaned up while his dad relaxed with coffee, then we all retired to the sofa for beer and conversation. It was pleasant, stimulating conversation. His dad is a real talker, the exact opposite of Sam, and it was interesting to ask him a question and get him off on a 10-minute story, with barely a pause to breathe. I nestled in close to Sam on the couch, and he put his arm around me. It was cozy, and I felt like part of their family. His dad must have thought so, too, because he eventually started dropping hints that he thought Sam should marry me, LOL. I hope he's not too mad when he finds everything out—but he seems like a very open-minded, unconventional guy himself. We stayed for almost seven hours, and by the time we got back to Sam's we were so tired that we just went straight to bed and to sleep.
Friday morning, Sam woke up before I did and made coffee. I got up about an hour and a half later and cooked us a tasty omelet. We watched some more kids' movies and sipped some rum coffee, and I was just wicked, wicked horny. I think Sam felt it too, because he talked about needing a rub, which was a convenient excuse to get in the bed. I rubbed him a while, then we had really hot sex that I think was equally as good for both of us. We lay around for a while longer, basking, before heading out to the store to pick up stuff for our meals for the rest of the time.
We got back, I made a guacamole, and we partook of a substance. Sam started a bonfire and we watched the nature creatures at play in his yard. After the events of the previous 24 hours, I felt so hot for him, so close to him. Time passed, and we were feeling pretty lazy, so we flopped out in front of some nature documentaries. We started to fall asleep, moved to the bed, and I told him that I loved him before we fell asleep. He didn't return it—and I wasn't expecting it—but he smiled and squeezed me tight before we both retreated to our sides of the bed.
This morning, we woke up around the same time. I cuddled into him and we ended up having some more fantastic sex. He is so strong and nearly silent, reserved in his passion until he turns a corner and it seems to consume him. After sex, I made breakfast, and the pall of my having to leave crept over us. Even though I'm coming back with Rider in three days, that feeling of leaving is always a bit melancholy. It was for the best, though, because our silences were becoming longer—not out of anything negative, just that we both tend to introversion and were feeling the need to recharge coming on. He took me to the Greyhound station around sunset, and I've been on a bus ever since.
Visit to Sam aside, another thing that happened since my last post was that Rider and I resolved the whole Kelly-down-the-hall thing. Thinking about it, Rider realized that there was actually nowhere to put the extra friend to sleep; even if I slept with Sam and Rider slept with Kelly, that fifth person would have no bed. Additionally, I pointed out to Rider that it was kind of rude to make it non-optional for me to share Sam's bed for more days—Sam was probably looking forward to having it back to himself, and for Kelly to take my place at Rider's side would sort of "throw me in" with Sam without giving Sam a choice in the matter, potentially making him uncomfortable in his own house. These are just more examples of things that Rider does not tend to think through.
Rider admitted that it was actually a terrible idea all around, and that he was just champing at the bit to get some time with Kelly while he perceived that window as being open. I guess she's graduating in the spring and may be moving somewhere even farther away. That or she may just lose interest, being 25 and in a transitional time in her life. He wants to "strike while the iron is hot," as it were.
He also felt super-bad when he realized that I had been so excited about the trip just being me, him, and Sam (since that's how he'd originally painted it to me) and also when I reminded him that he'd repeatedly mentioned to me while we were hashing out the Christmas thing that that time would, in a way, "make up for" the time he'd sold me out for Christmas. As we got deeper into the discussion, he really started beating himself up that he hadn't thought of any of those factors, and he started really stressing at how bad he was at scheduling and thinking ahead.
I offered to take his scheduling over for him, if he really was that incapable of it and stressed about it; I'm kind of a master planner, and I subscribe to the belief that part of the things that relationships are good for is that each person's innate strengths can pitch in to cover the other person's innate weaknesses. There are plenty of ways in which Rider helps me, so I don't mind doing that little part if it keeps everyone happy. I told him just to tell me what he requires and I'll Tetris it all in there. And I will absolutely find some time for him to visit Kelly when everything calms down; right now, it's looking like the weekend that I visit Moss for his 40th is the likeliest option.
In the meantime, Rider has coordinated a day trip for all of us (me, him, Sam, Kelly, friend) to some brewpubs not far from College Town while we are over there next weekend. That should get him a little of his Kelly fix, and it should be a lot of fun.
