The Best Life Yet

Last night's hangout with Amelia went well. Her boyfriend had a card game, so he didn't come along and it was just the three of us: Rider, me, and her. She is a trip. She's definitely not someone I could see myself dating—her over-the-top attempts to elicit shock speak to me of a defense mechanism that is probably hiding quite a bit of insecurity and potential for drama—but she makes a fun friend, for sure. She is super respectful to me and to Rider and I thoroughly enjoyed her company.

The only thing that got a little weird for a moment was that she started telling me how happy she was that Rider and I found each other because she hasn't really liked the other people he's dated. Which seemed to me to be an obvious dig at Claire, since she and Claire have worked together (maybe still do?) at the dungeon. I asked Rider about it later, and he said he hadn't heard that exchange, but to his knowledge Amelia hadn't met any of his partners other than Claire, so he agreed it was probably a dig at her.

This is not the first time that someone we had in common has decided to talk minor shit on Claire, assuming that I'd be on their side about it. I used to stand up for her back in the day, but these days I just decline to participate and change the subject. I can understand how people might think that it could be a way to bond with me or curry favor with me to talk smack about a (former or current) metamour, but I don't work that way. Sure, I might talk some smack of my own here in my anonymous blog, but that is a lot different from spreading drama among friends and acquaintances.

Tonight is the night we hang out with Elise. I am a bit nervous because I don't know how it's going to go, but I am going into it with an open mind. Best-case scenario: she's really nice to me and we all have chemistry and all end up making out. Worst-case scenario: she's a jerk to me and I extract myself and Rider decides to fuck her anyway. I've told him that I won't be angry with him if he does—it's his life and that doesn't really violate any of our agreements—but it will ding my opinion of him a little if he willingly puts his dick in someone who is rude to me right in front of him. But even the worst-case is not all that bad, so I feel like we have more to gain than to lose by going on this date. It's been MONTHS since I've been with a woman—I think since the last time Allie spent the night in September.

Speaking of agreements, something hilarious that Amelia told us was that her relationship agreement includes a cake clause. She doesn't care who her boyfriend fucks, but he is not allowed to bring home things that other women (even platonic friends or coworkers) have baked for him. That just cracked me right up. It goes to show that, as we've discussed here plenty of times, everyone has their own triggers, and relationship agreements can take all kinds of shapes. :p
 
I should probably also mention that I have been keeping up a pretty regular online/texting conversations with Sparrow, Karina, Kristof, and a fourth person (who may turn out to be just a platonic friend) who goes by a different name and set of pronouns depending on which gender they are choosing that day. I guess I'll call them Martin/Marigold.

Sparrow and I have made tentative plans to visit a science center together after I arrive. Martin/Marigold has been telling me all about their experiences trying to date as a woman for the first time. Karina is really excited for me to finally arrive soon. Kristof and I have been mostly joking around; he and I both drop off the map due to being super busy.

VERY oddly, it is not just me who has been dealing with moving. Sparrow, Karina AND Kristof are all in various stages of moving right now, from looking for a place to unpacking. Seems a very strange coincidence.

I also had a pretty long IM conversation with Kelly this morning. She's only 5 months away from finishing her Ph.D. and is dealing with a crushing amount of work due to that. Still, she is managing to learn skateboarding tricks and fostering kittens! She is one of those people who just gets good at things. She is so smart that it translates into a great many talents just by applying her intellect to whatever she pursues. It's still looking like she is going to do her post-doc in Scandinavia, but it is only a year or two long, and I am hopeful that when she returns we will be living on the same coast again. I enjoy her friendship even if I do still have outdated flutters of PTSD when I think about her+Rider things.

I think what I am going to do with my cast of characters on here is when I move, I am going to post one last one with all my Current City friends included, so that I can link to it, and then start nearly from scratch with my new Opposite Coast peeps. That way it doesn't just keep getting longer forever. :p
 
ANOTHER strange exchange with Rider about tonight:

Rider: Also, I borrowed the beach blanket from your car. Wanted to let you know. I didn't know if the weather would be nice enough for hanging out on the beach, but just in case.

Me: My car will be there too.

Rider: Oh, that's true.

...

In addition to being nervous about my upcoming interaction with Elise, I am REALLY starting to become uncomfortable with what seem to me to be repeated signs that Rider is expecting (hoping?) that I'm not going to be there to finish the night—that his "best-case scenario" is different than mine and for some reason he won't tell me that. I am trying to trust that he's being honest with me, but it does seem like somewhere in his mind, I am deleted from the events of the evening. :confused:
 
Because I can never keep my mouth shut, and it is usually for the better...

Me: I feel nervous right now.

Rider: Why nervous?

Me: Social anxiety. Because I am not sure AT ALL how tonight is going to go, or the effect it is going to have on me if it goes any one of the gazillion ways it could go. Mostly because I'm not sure how much she likes me, or will like me, and since I had two very polar opposites of possible takeaways from the last interaction not knowing "really good" or "really bad" is stressful.

That and if things go well, it's been a long time since I've been with a girl, and even longer since with a NEW girl. And if things go poorly, I am leaving the decision up to you but I worry that sometimes you don't see the catty digs that happen between people, and that I might find my respect for you dinged if your choice is to hook up with someone who is catty to me.

It just seems to me like there is a wide range of ways it could go, and I am going into it with an open mind, but then it seeming like you're super-prepared for my not being there makes me worry that you know more than I do about how it's going to go and that you think it will go poorly for me.

Like you're prepared for my social failure or something. I am overthinking. I will do my best to look my best and act as well as I can socially. And there is not much beyond that that I can do. Humaning. LOL. It's nerve-racking.

Rider: Don't overthink it too much. I'm sure it'll be fine. She thought you were super sweet when she met you. She said as much.

Me: OK. That is good.

Rider: I know you had limited interaction with her.

Me: Does she even know that this is a group date? Or is it an unspecified hangout to be feeling things out along the way?

Rider: She said that she didn't realize it was a date-date, but then I told her my crush was pretty strong, and that we didn't have to call it a date if we didn't want to. But I think it's pretty unspecified, so probably the latter. We'll just hang out. If you two hit it off, great.

Me: How did that come up?

Rider: It was when I let her know that you'd be joining me and her for at least a while at the beginning of the night. She was like, oh I didn't know this was a date-date. I like her so I've made that pretty clear, like I do.

Me: Ahhhhh, hmm, that wording also makes it sound like SHE'LL be expecting me to leave at some point too. Like... I am not thinking well of how to describe this.

Rider: Let's just hang out and see how it goes, yeah?

Me: Yeah

Rider: I would like to have some fun with her, but I'm not looking to get seriously involved or anything, and we're leaving in like a week.

Me: I am trying very hard to be less nervous by discussing but becoming more nervous by discussing instead. So I am going to leave it alone, haha.

Rider: I'm pretty sure she's well aware of the situation, but we wanna hang out anyway

Me: I figured out the wording...it seems like from what you told her it sounds more like I am coming along to...like...vet her or something and then go away. Which isn't at all what you and I had discussed, so I fear that we may not all be on the same page here. But anyway, it doesn't matter. I will figure things out as they go. I was just suddenly terrified of overstaying my welcome when you put it that way.

Rider: OK, I will try to clarify a bit to her without making it weird.

Me: You don't have to do that. I'll figure out how to handle it myself.

Rider: OK. I know that you said you might stick around or you might split.

Me: Humaning doesn't come naturally to me but I can usually handle things with great finesse when a need arises.

Rider: Sounds good. Please don't get stressed out. <3 I'm sure it'll be fun.

Me: Stress in new social situations is normal for me. I'll be fine.

Rider: OK, cool. Sounds like she can't be out late tonight, so we probably can't get too crazy. Would like to maybe put some smooches on her, though.

Me: Neither can we...it IS a school night AND we have to perform tomorrow! Eeeee!

Rider: She's excited that we're all going to party together tonight. Tomorrow's gonna be fine.

...

So now I am mostly less nervous. Not thrilled with how Rider handled his end of the communication—seems like he left things muddier at the outset than I would have done myself or preferred—but it does sound like she's stoked to be hanging out with both of us, which clears up a lot of my stress.
 
Wow, so that was stress over something that turned out to be AWESOME. No hooking up but some kissing and SQUEEEEE! Details mañana! :D
 
Yay for awesome!

And I love "Humaning doesn't come naturally to me." That's how I feel a lot of the time. Can I steal that line? Please?
 
All right, so, Elise is actually really cool. I am assuming that the parts that struck me as questionable last time were the result of her being kind of drunk and oblivious while I was stone-cold sober. This time she was fun and sweet, and we had a lot to say to each other. I think sometimes we barely let Rider get a word in edgewise!

When I arrived (a little late because I had to clean up an unexpected mess on my way out the door), Rider and Elise were sitting at the bar each halfway through a drink already. I ordered a glass of the same wine Elise was drinking, and we started chatting up a storm. I immediately knew everything was going to be OK when she gave me a big hug and spoke directly to me, fixing her wide eyes on mine and smiling warmly. It was like instant relaxation balm. Her eyes are so dark brown that they are nearly black, like 70% cacao chocolate, so captivating.

We had a couple of glasses of wine then ordered some food, laughing and having a great time. She and I bonded over our Latina roots and our mutual love of animals and the concept of nomadism. Rider shared my tacos and salad with me and shared her wings with her. He's good for finishing the second half of everyone's meals, so it worked out well; having TWO girls' meals to finish was probably heaven for him! He would occasionally put his hand on the small of her back or on my thigh. It was comfortable and not at all emotionally prickly for me.

Elise was telling us that she has three "wives" (who she is not really married to—she just calls them that because they are women who she is really close to and hooks up with sometimes). One of them is Amelia—they've been hooking up on and off since middle school. One lives in the next city over from here and has a kid now so they see each other less frequently. And the other one tours with her on her travel job, so she is with her about 8 months out of the year. She also has a boyfriend on tour. She talked to us for a little while about him, asking our advice. He is trying to get her to settle down and commit to him, but he's 38 and has done a lot of living, while she's only 27 and is still enjoying exploring. She doesn't want to do the monogamy thing right now, if ever.

"Maybe once I'm 30..." she said. I told her that, in my opinion, she was right to keep being free if she felt like it. There's no need to rush into a commitment she's not ready for. She, like me, married once too young already and is already divorced in her late 20s. If and when she's eventually ready to settle down with someone, she'll know. It's unlikely to be when she is 27 and "enjoying being slutty" (her words).

When dinner was over, someone mentioned ice cream, and we looked up the hours for the ice cream place about a block away. It was open for another 15 minutes, so we cashed out and hurried over there and each picked a flavor for a three-scoop sundae. Elise had mentioned loving hot fudge much earlier in the evening, so when I ordered it, I asked them to add hot fudge and whipped cream, and she squealed with delight that I had remembered.

"Calories don't count over the holidays!" Elise said with a wink as we scraped the bottom of the bowl.

We still had time to go to one more place, but none of us wanted to get drunk (we were all driving), so we walked to a place that had boozy slurpees and tried samples of a few before ordering just one for all of us to share and mostly drinking water.

We sat at a table in the quietest area, with Elise in the middle this time instead of Rider, and we were talking about a cartoon that we all like. At some point, she started just leaning on me and putting her head on my shoulder, so I put my arm around her and it felt so good and happy and right. Eventually, Rider and I both started massaging her back and neck, and then I was massaging her while Rider leaned his forehead against her forehead. Some guy sitting at the bar started to gawk at us, and we had a good laugh about it.

So we were talking about how little time we have left and how she's never been to the state we're moving to so maybe she will come visit. She also wanted to figure out if she could see us this weekend, but our calendar is pretty full. Then I pointed out that the friends we're supposed to see on Saturday are the ones with the new baby so they will probably split early. She said she is going to a party that night, but it is someone Rider also knows so maybe we could get an invite and hang out late night on Saturday through to Sunday.

And then I remembered that we have that weird mass thing with Pablo on Sunday, and...it comes out that she went on some dates with Pablo back in the day! Nothing ever came of their dates—she said they didn't even kiss and it just kind of faded away—but she knows who he is and is attracted to him. Pablo is so flaky that there is a chance he won't even get in touch, but at the very least, we could hang out with her until his thing. And if he is cool with bringing her along or if he flakes on us, we could hang out longer than that.

Then it was time to go. She had to get up early in the morning to take a drug screening for a job she's trying to get, and Rider and I are doing an open mic tonight and couldn't be sleep-deprived or hungover. We walked her to her van and she gave us big, glorious hugs. But I knew that Rider wanted to kiss her, and that he possibly felt weird about saying so. Seemed like it would be best if I did it. I asked her if we could have a kiss, and she looked so happy, and she kissed me, and then she kissed him. He clearly did not want to let go of her. I giggled. We said goodbye. Rider was walking on air as we walked away from her.

This morning we heard from her about the party. Turns out that Claire is going to be there so Elise can't bring us. Because somehow that's still a thing. But she said she's happy to come over and hang out with us and be lazy and watch cartoons on Sunday until whatever ends up happening with the Pablo thing.

She posted some fun pictures she took with us at the ice cream place saying that we are "the cutest couple" and she is sad that we are moving away. She does travel a lot for her seasonal job, so maybe we will cross paths somewhere on the road. I'm glad last night happened, and I am looking forward to Sunday. I am wee bit nervous about Sunday, but it's the good "butterflies" kind of nervous of thinking I might end up in bed with someone I really like.

It's actually pretty rare for me to get that spark of initial physical attraction for a girl like I did with her on "questionable night" and have it be returned in kind. Usually people take a little while to grow on me, the way that Allie did, or if I do like a girl right off the bat then something else makes it weird.

Sometimes they turn out to be totally crazy and throw a cat at someone. Or sometimes they are not quite as bi as me and so I feel like I am pestering them if I want things to lean a bit more sexual. Or they are closer to lesbian and worried about getting emotionally hurt because I don't fall in love with women as easily. Or they take some kind of issue with my looks vs. theirs. For example, Candace told Rider that she couldn't believe I actually liked her, since she thinks that I am so hot and thin, and she is insecure about herself and wouldn't want to get naked with me. I found this incredibly sad since she is gorgeous even if she is heavier than me and beauty comes in all sizes. Dating women has been a lot harder for me than dating men.

But Elise is...just right, somehow. She is wild and free and beautiful and comfortable in her body at the size that she is—she makes jokes about being "average sized, not a size zero" and loving hot fudge, but it's in a confident way like she knows she is still sexy and awesome and that sexy, awesome people exist at any size. She seems to actually like me for me, as well as liking Rider for Rider and curious about and supportive of our backstory together. She is sincere and fun and cuddly. Too bad it just so happens that she didn't come back from her work travel until right before we leave town for good. I feel like this could have been a lot more fun than the time that we have left will let it be. Still, I will make the most of what time we do have.
 
Last edited:
I sure do have a lot to say today! I guess I will start where I left off...

The open mic last Wednesday was OK. It was a variety open mic—not just music, but comedy and poetry—and it seemed like the emphasis that night happened to be more on comedy, so people didn't care too much about the few scattered musical acts, ours included. A friend shot some video, though, and it was generally well received among our Facebook friends.

Christmas Eve, I chatted with Oona for about an hour, and then Rider came home from work early. We ran around getting last-minute food shopping done then sipped some festive drinks while watching Savages. The movie was pretty "meh" but it was cool to see a movie with poly protagonists. I was really missing Sam due to remembering our Christmas last year, and watching that movie with the girl cuddled up with both her guys caused me some pangs. But I was still very happy to have the time with Rider.

I made a romantic "date night" dinner that night, really pulling out all the stops. I even invented an insanely good cheese dip for an appetizer. It had been a while since I exercised my culinary muscles to that degree. Rider is a man of simple tastes, so while he does appreciate when I make fancy stuff every once in a while, he's just as happy with a burrito.

A friend of a friend stopped by to relieve us of more of our possessions. She took a LOT and came back today with a truck to take even more. It's gotten really empty in here!

After that, Rider gave me my presents, including tickets to see a band that we both love in March and two small pieces of jewelry. We ate and cuddled and stayed up pretty late doing kinky sex things. I tied him up and used this riding crop thingie on him. He loved it.

Christmas Day, we mostly lazed about and finished watching the last of the Mad Men episodes we hadn't seen yet. I had him in chastity all day while we watched things and was teasing him and sending pics to Kelly. I had him lie on the floor and drink tequila off of my foot like in that cheesy '90s vampire movie From Dusk Till Dawn. I dribbled the tequila down my leg and foot into his mouth, and then I sprinkled salt and lime juice on the toes of the other foot so he could lick them. And then I used a variety of toys on him till he was about bursting the device so I had to take it off of him. Eventually we will get a better one that can't stretch as much.

Once we were done and he was snoozing a bit, I messaged for a while with Kelly. She was having kind of a tough day because Evan had imported some girl from the internet for the holidays and the girl was quite young and insecure and threatened by Kelly's status as Evan's housemate, even though Kelly and Evan have NEVER been anything more than friends. The girl had been hostile to her for days, and Kelly couldn't escape to Man's because Man was off doing family things with his child. So I kept her company for a while and listened to her venting.

I also messaged with Sam for a while. He said he missed us and was probably going to do Asian buffet with his dad. I felt a pang of guilt since I'd cooked for them last year. I know that doesn't obligate me to do it every year or anything, but still. If I could only be two places at once, here preparing for the move AND cooking for Sam, his dad, and Rider...

I did cook for Rider, at least. That was interesting, seeing as how I'd just gotten rid of a great many kitchen things. It was a "skeleton crew" of cooking gear, and I had to call Rider in partway through to wash some things so I could re-use them. I made a pretty traditional holiday meal and it was a TON of food for two people, even making the smallest portions of everything. We still have plenty of leftovers.

One very sentimental thing that we did was watch my DVD of old family movies, with specifically the Christmases from when I was 10 or 11 to when I was 13. It was nice to watch videos of my dad, who has been gone for ten years now. It was also funny and cringeworthy to see myself turn from an excited child into a doubled-in-size, all-clad-in-black, eye-rolling teen. Rider was endlessly amused and said it gave him "all the feels" to see me as a kid.

Saturday, we had another mostly lazy day. We were supposed to go out to a shuffleboard bar with our friends with the new baby, but they had forgotten and the wife's sisters were over, so they just invited us to join. Rider's been friends with them now for something like 12 years and is friends with the entire family at this point. I've met them all too, so it wasn't awkward for us to join in. They were all sitting around the bonfire, and Rider and the husband jammed on acoustic guitars together while the ladies chatted. Both of the wife's sisters are lesbians, so with partners and everything there, the women far outnumbered the men.

That party ended on the early side, and Rider was supposed to hear from Kitty. Kitty is in town visiting her parents for the holiday, and that night she was watching a football game with her boyfriend at her folks' place and then they were going to meet us out after. They never called, though, and she told him the next day that they fell asleep while watching the game. She's currently living overseas, so that's understandable due to the jet-lag, but Rider was still wickedly disappointed.

He and I ended up grabbing late-night sushi and then just going home to bed. With Elise on the books for Sunday daytime, we thought the extra sleep couldn't hurt. Pablo was trying desperately to hang out with us and basically begging to come over and hook up, but we knew we would be up with him all night if we said yes, so we declined. Besides, we'd be seeing him the very next day.

(continued...)
 
(continued from previous...)

We woke up pretty early Sunday and got the place as tidy as it could possibly be, given that we're in the middle of a move. We waited to hear from Elise, and the later it got we were starting to get nervous that we wouldn't hear from her. We knew that the party she was at was a late-night kind of party, though.

While I was in the shower, the thought crossed my mind that maybe Claire might have said something to Elise to convince her not to hang out with us, because historically Claire had a record of seeming to enjoy making sure that I didn't get something that I really wanted. I pushed that thought out of my head as being too negative and didn't want to say anything about it to Rider. But then while I was dressing, Rider said it, himself: "I hope Claire didn't say anything to Elise last night to poison the well..." And suddenly I didn't feel so bad for worrying about that. We talked about it for a minute and agreed that we thought that Elise was probably too sweet to get swayed by negative talk even if Claire had tried.

Eventually it got to the point that Elise was probably awake no matter what, so I shot her a playful little message. She replied almost instantly, saying that she was just waking up and was going to eat breakfast with her party companions, not wanting to be rude, and then come over. I asked her if she'd like some mimosas, and she said that sounded lovely, so I sent Rider out to get supplies while I cooked our own breakfast. We'd just finished eating and cleaning up and were beginning to play some songs when Elise called saying she was outside.

My goodness, we had such an amazing time with her! We didn't even do much—just watched cartoons, sipped mimosas, cuddled, and kissed a bit—but I think we were all on Cloud 9. I was more turned on than I have been in eons...so much NRE! She was not ready to do more than just some light making out and hands inside the shirt type of things, since it was shark week for her and she had been at a party all night last night, but everything we did was enough. It was so hot kissing her and watching Rider kiss her. I get thrills all through me and my heart races just remembering.

We had limited time, since Pablo was supposed to come over at 5 to brief us on the mass thing that was scheduled for 6, but Pablo never showed (more on that later) so we made out together in a giant cuddle pile until about 6:15, when Elise had to leave because she had scheduled something with her mom for 6:45. That was a tough goodbye. None of us wanted to disentangle. Elise said that if Pablo never got in touch, maybe she could come back again after her mom thing. Or maybe we could hang out today after I got done with Georgia, if Rider and I managed to get extra moving stuff done early due to Pablo bailing.

Rider and I waited a little longer to hear from Pablo, and when we didn't hear anything, we decided to get some more moving tasks done and then do an open invite to the brewery for whatever friends of ours might want to get a last crack at seeing us. We were sitting there with some musician friends and art friends when Pablo finally started messaging us saying that he's been super tired and just woke up, wanting to know if we were still available. Rider was incensed. He was just about madder than I've ever seen him.

The reasons why were multifold: 1) Pablo has repeatedly stood him up, and he is pretty heartbroken about it. 2) Elise wouldn't have scheduled that thing with her mom if we hadn't told her that we had something else to do at 6, so our spoiled plans with Pablo had short-ciruited the possibility of more time with her. 3) This late in the "we're about to leave" game, our time is super precious and limited, and for him to just flake shows extreme disrespect for our time and that of other friends who might have wanted to see us and whose invites we've turned down.

So Rider was not even writing Pablo back. I couldn't be that cold-hearted about it, and I told Pablo that he had to take up Rider's side of it with him, but on my end, my feelings were hurt and, no, we wouldn't be seeing him that night. I told him I'm sure he is still invited to the wrestling party on Tuesday and could see Rider there, but my schedule was full. Pablo apologized profusely and seemed really sad that he wouldn't be seeing me.

I told Rider that it seemed a bit cruel to not write Pablo back at all, and that if I were Pablo and I knew I fucked up, I'd be freaking out if my boyfriend just wouldn't write me back at all, not even to acknowledge my apologies. I told him the adult way to go about it would be to write back once telling him that he got his messages but he was too upset to talk about it tonight and would talk to him tomorrow when they had both calmed down. But I said that in the end it was of course his decision what to do, and beyond that piece of advice I'd give any friend, I was staying out of it from there. Rider thought about it and decided I was right and sent a message along those lines.

With that message sent and a little bit of cooldown time, they were able to make peace with each other today. I think they are probably broken up romantically, which was going to be hard to maintain long-distance anyway, but they have salvaged their friendship and will be friendly at the wrestling party.

Elise ended up not being able to come back out last night. She has been dealing with some family stuff. Her grandmother is on-and-off very sick, and she and her mother are currently trying to decide if they need to take her to the ER. She may not be able to see us tonight either because of that, so it's possible I will never see her again. It's such a shame because I really, really like her. Like, really. Like actual-romantic-feelings-for-a-girl really. :eek:

I want to explore every corner of her mind and body, and cuddle with her forever, and twirl her hair all up in my fingers, and kiss her and kiss her and kiss her until neither of us can breathe anymore. And I can't. I am telling self that at the very least it is cool to find out I can feel this way about a woman. Because that means maybe it will happen again someday. I told her that even if she can't get away, maybe I can at least drop off the decorative owls that she said she wanted that I forgot to give her before she left. NRE, for sure: any excuse to see her for any tiny amount of time.

It's funny because Rider feels the same way. We are both a little melted pile of squee over her right now. It will pass.

Tonight, I have dinner with Georgia, and then because Rider and I got a ton of moving stuff done last night with Pablo's flaking, we have our evening free. We're tentatively scheduled to see Elise, but since she almost certainly has to deal with family things, Rider has also spoken to Kitty and one other ex of his about meeting up for drinks while we wait to hear what happens with Elise.

I dealt with some stressful stuff today. The friend who came with the truck to take our stuff accidentally knocked our elderly neighbor's mirror off her car and can't afford to give her the money up front, so I am fronting it and she's paying me back. AND I have to drive the neighbor to the shop somehow IN BETWEEN taking my rabbit with the ulcerated eyeball to the vet and being home for a prospective tenant coming to view the apartment. Sigh. Life just finds a way to keep getting busier.

Three days to go...
 
Last edited:
I hope you are able to see Elise again, too! I love that NRE/crush feeling with a girl :) I am in girl-crush mode with someone new, too. It's such an awesome feeling! I don't know if mine will go anywhere. ..and she's ten years younger than me. ...younger than I've ever dated. But i'm just enjoying the NRE ride!

Good luck with the move! I hope it goes well :)
 
PinkPig said:
I hope you are able to see Elise again, too! I love that NRE/crush feeling with a girl :) I am in girl-crush mode with someone new, too. It's such an awesome feeling! I don't know if mine will go anywhere. ..and she's ten years younger than me. ...younger than I've ever dated. But i'm just enjoying the NRE ride!

Good luck with the move! I hope it goes well :)
Click to expand...

Sadly, it doesn't look like it's going to happen before leaving. Literally every moment between now and leaving is spoken for, either by work, by packing/cleaning tasks, or by our last crammed in social activities: Rider's wrestling party at his friend's house tonight, our farewell Indian dinner with Ada after work tomorrow, and stopping by Darla's for a glass of wine after dinner tomorrow night.

Last night's dinner with Georgia was great. I am going to miss her so much. I only see her once a month or so, but she is really like a sister to me and I am going to miss our gab sessions. After that, I headed out to meet Rider, who was chilling with his ex Kitty and her boyfriend, plus my old roommate Anna and her boyfriend. Anna split shortly after I arrived because she had to work super early, but we hung out with Kitty until midnight.

I had to get up early today to take my rabbit back to the vet, and the ulcer in his eye has gotten worse instead of better despite ten days of constant treatment. So now I have to up the treatment to FOUR times per day of eye drops, instead of three. Which is going to be great fun as I cross the continent, ugh.

On my way home, I took my car in for its oil change a day sooner than I'd planned because the brake warning light was blinking on and off and I read online that it might be low brake fluid. Knowing that they check the fluids when they do an oil change, I figured that was the best way to figure out whether it was that or something more serious. I was nervous that my mechanic had overlooked a brake problem and I was going to need to put it in the shop in some kind of way that would delay my trip. Thankfully, it was indeed just the fluid. I am so freaking TIRED from worrying about that and getting up early and dealing with the bunny things though.

This will probably be my last post until I get to Sam's place in a few days. There is just too much to do and there probably won't be much to say other than to talk about packing and cleaning. For now, I will try to grab a short nap.
 
Good luck with the move! Hope it goes smoothly! :)
 
I finally have time for an update! I am on a business trip, stuck in a hotel room in the evenings, which is the perfect opportunity for catching up on my internetting. Boy, do I have a lot to talk about. This may take multiple posts. Let me pick up where I left off...

Our last social events before leaving went well. Pablo did not go to the wrestling party, so Rider didn't get to see him again, but he did try, and they kept in good touch, so they are still on good terms. Dinner with Ada was fine, and wine with Darla afterwards was also good. She almost let us have a kiss at the end, but she changed her mind.

After we got home from Darla's, we started our cleaning frenzy. I had done some research on extreme cleaning tactics to see if we could actually get the bathroom and kitchen clean. The landlord had told Rider that he would get his deposit back if we returned the place clean, despite having a reputation for trying to steal deposits. I knew from talking to our elderly neighbor that the landlord (rightfully) thought that Rider was a filthy tenant, though he liked him anyway because he is nice and personable and always on time with rent, so my theory is that he told him that believing that it would never be clean enough.

I helped him clean it a lot starting in 2014, and by the time I moved in, it was mostly clean, other than a few problem areas in the bathroom and kitchen that I didn't know if it would be possible to clean. I was determined to try, though.

I learned that one way to handle stubborn mildew in the bathroom caulk and grout was straight bleach, so I poured some on there. The results were encouraging, but the pouring technique couldn't get up into all the places, so I put it in a spray bottle. This turned out to be a bad idea. I ended up inhaling so much vaporized bleach that I became very ill from it for two days, with symptoms that seemed to be identical to bad allergies: stuffy nose that was constantly watering with what seemed like tears, sneezing, and coughing when I breathed in too deep. So I spent the last day of cleaning and packing in that miserable state.

I picked up the trailer for the car early in the morning on New Year's Eve day. Rider and I finished packing and cleaning, and I tied everything up in the trailer. It was a long and exhausting day's work. But the landlord came by for a walk-through and confirmed that we would get the deposit back! So all my suffering from the bleach was at least worth hundreds of dollars, lol. Still, I would definitely not recommend it unless using a respirator or something. Rider called me a miracle worker and said he never expected to get that money back.

Once all that was taken care of, we piled the pets into the car and headed for Sam's. The brake warning light started flickering on and off again at some point during the 4-hour drive. Since adding brake fluid when I got my oil changed seemed to fix it a few days prior, that meant there was probably a leak. We resolved to figure it out the next day, topped it off at a gas station, and continued.

We missed midnight by like ten minutes heading to Sam's party, where we intended to celebrate, but we saw fireworks from the road and pulled off for a kiss.

Some drunk guy let my cat escape a few minutes after arrival and I lost my mind after all the stress and lack of sleep of the preceding week. Coping skills kind of go out the window at times like that. I literally threw a tantrum, ripping my hat off my head, throwing it on the ground, and shouting, "THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED!" It was especially bad because Sam's yard and surrounding yards back up to a river, are tangled with wilderness, and there were fireworks going off all around. I was so afraid I'd never see her again, or that hunting for her would delay our trip. Luckily, she knows her mama's voice, and after some time of diligent hunting for her and calling her, she ran right up to me. I can not exaggerate the relief I felt. I value that cat more than almost anything in the world. She is my baby!

I just was not having a very good NYE at all. Besides the cat and my bleach symptoms, someone also spilled a drink on me, soiling some of the very limited clothes I'd packed and intended to re-wear, and Sam doesn't have a dryer. I rinsed the stuff and left it out to dry overnight, but it started raining so it all became soaked.

Rider was feeling sexually frustrated. Between being exhausted from the moving prep and sleep deprivation, utterly filthy from all the cleaning and rushing around with no time to shower, and also starting to battle a yeast infection, I had been the furthest thing from the mood in a couple days. I felt guilty about not wanting to have anything to do with sex while he was climbing the walls with desire, but I just. did. not. want. to. I promised to get him off the following day if he could take care of himself that night, and I promptly passed the fuck out.

New Year's Day, Rider let me sleep in. After I woke up, I went to get some Chinese food for breakfast, which is my traditional New Year's Day hangover food. I cuddled a little on Rider and Sam all day, and my mood started to become less black. Sam, who is mighty handy, helped to diagnose my car problem, but he didn't have the equipment to fix it. It was a leaking caliper on the front right brake. I made an appointment at a shop for the following morning. It would delay our trip by a few hours, but brakes are super, super important, especially when pulling a trailer! Then we went out for happy hour at a Mexican place that was miraculously open on New Year's Day.

We ate and drank and I was getting cuddly with both boys at the bar. It was really hitting me how I would no longer be able to see Sam every couple of months, and I just wanted to be as close to him as possible. I felt a bit internally conflicted because I suddenly wanted sex, but with him, after days of not giving any to Rider. I'd been keeping the yeasty beasties at bay with boric acid, so I knew I was probably OK on that front. I pondered.

When we got back to the house, Rider fell into a food coma and lay napping, snoring loudly, on one of the couches. I suddenly had an idea: I could shower really fast and then seduce Sam while Rider slept, then be with Rider later. But I took too long in the shower; the water felt so good and was washing my stress away, and I was finally getting to shave everything and feel nice and clean for the first time in days. When I got out, I knew my time was probably limited, but I went for it anyway.

Sam was watching a "documentary" on Bigfoot. He believes a lot of weird stuff, including pretty much all of the conspiracy and "unsolved mystery" type of things. I cuddled up to him, and I just wanted him with every cell in my body. We were on the couch opposite Rider, who was still sleeping. We started making out, and Sam put his hand in my panties, and I just could not resist going further. I ended up doing oral on him right there.

After a time, I noticed that Rider had woken up and was watching the Bigfoot show, trying to give us some privacy by not looking. I really wanted to fuck Sam, but I didn't want to leave Rider out or make him feel weird, so I whispered to Sam asking him if he'd be cool with a threesome if the guys didn't have to touch each other (since Sam is SUPER straight). He thought for a second and then consented, and I said something to Rider. Sam and I headed to the bedroom while Rider stopped off to pee.

Everything was going great while Sam and I were in the room together alone, but pretty much the second Rider came in, Sam started to go soft. I have long suspected that the group thing isn't really his thing, but we'd never discussed it explicitly, so we ended up just all three lying around on the bed talking about it for a while, while I stroked Sam with my hand.

Sam at first claimed incredulity that all of this was still OK with Rider, but when Rider confirmed that it was, he then admitted that it was him (Sam) who felt kind of uncomfortable with it. We told him that that was OK, that we could stop or only do as much as he wanted to, but he said he was enjoying being touched and wanted to keep going. Eventually we found a position where I was on top of Sam and blocking his view of Rider, and that seemed to work better. I guess he could tune it out or something. I could hear Rider behind me breathing heavily and knew he was enjoying watching. I bounced for a long time, until I could do so no longer. Finally I had to just give up and flop down on Sam's chest.

Sam kept apologizing for not being able to come, but I assured him that it was fine. It's not just in threesomes; it's an ongoing thing with him. He couldn't really start back up again, so he opted to leave the room while it was "Rider's turn." Rider was really worked up and it took less than a minute, so soon we rejoined Sam in the living room. The boys had their underwear back on, but I remained naked and stretched out between the two of them on the couch, my head on Sam and my legs across Rider. I stayed that way for a very long time, eventually getting cold and putting clothes on, but returning to that position until I fell asleep there, with both of them petting me.

(continued...)
 
Last edited:
(...continued from previous)

So I have definitely confirmed that the threesome thing doesn't work for Sam. Which is fine. I love the connection that I have with him when we are one on one, it's just that this was a special circumstance.

It sparked a conversation later between Rider and me where Rider was saying that he's really growing to have a preference to date people who are into the idea of having sex with both of us, à la Pablo, Allie, Elise, etc. I explored this with him for a little while, concerned that he might be making a veiled suggestion that he'd rather I date someone other than Sam, but he said, no, he'd never rather I choose someone over Sam because he loves Sam and wants us both to be happy.

Rider said that his order of preference was basically [people who want to be with both of us] > [people who want to be with only one of us but enjoy hanging out with both of us in a cozy, close atmosphere] > [people who want to be with only one of us but are cool with both of us and willing to hang out in a looser social situation such as a party atmosphere]. Sam falls into that middle category. Someone like the thing I had with Beckett falls into the third category. And we have both agreed that we will not date outside of that (people who would not be comfortable even sharing cordial friendly space such as a party with both of us).

To some degree, I have a similar preference, but...some people are going to be really straight, and group sex isn't some people's thing. I really don't have any desire to limit our dating pool to bi/pan people who want to participate in threesomes with us. LOL! Mostly, *I* connect better with people one on one, at least initially, so I let Rider know that I am going to continue that type of dating. I definitely don't think that he should exert any pressure on his side of things for women to have to be interested in me, too. That seems too close to unicorn hunting to me and I feel squicky about it. If he chooses to only date women who are also into women, that's his choice, and if things evolve organically from there, well, OK then, but I definitely don't think he should leverage anyone's interest in him to try to make them want to be with me, too! Seems like that could only end badly. The sentiment is sweet, though, that he wants to be a team with me in all things.

Anyway, I fell asleep on both boys that night, eventually retreating to the guest house with Rider in the wee hours of the morning. We had to get up in a few hours to take the car into the shop. It was expensive, but they fixed my brakes all up, then we said a mournful goodbye to Sam and hit the road.

Sam had been talking seriously about moving in our general direction. I told him we have a six-month lease, so if he wanted to see how he felt in the summertime and go in with us on a bigger apartment at that time, we would be totally cool with that. Rider has long said that Sam is one of the only other people he'd consider living with, since they have been friends for so long and roommates several times without conflict. I guess we'll see how he feels in a few months. I would love living with both of them and being able to float between them whenever I wanted to. Every time we visit Sam or he visits us, that part has been heavenly.

The next leg of the journey was to stay in Rider's hometown, with a stop-off on the way to dine with Kelly and Man. The drive was pretty uneventful. There was terrible traffic due to people returning home from their holidays, but Rider re-routed us through non-freeway roads, and we made it to Football Town by dinnertime.

Kelly has obviously lost patience with Rider since they are no longer dating. I noticed a few times that she was just barely concealing her frustration with the way he can be a little slow to pick things up sometimes. She is wicked smart, and I have seen her be that way with other people before, but I think she used to be immune to it with Rider when they were dating and in NRE. It was weird to see her be so cavalier with him. She has also pulled back from me a great deal, like she was only getting close to me since she was interested in Rider and I was with him. We still talk, but much more sporadically and about less in-depth things. We did have fun at dinner, though, and spoke of meeting up when she has a conference within driving distance of our new place. We also got to play with her foster kittens, which was so much fun. It had been too long since I handled kittens! Eeeee!

The drive to Rider's hometown was long and dark, but thankfully not difficult. I got to re-accustom myself to trailer-towing. Rider wanted to crash with one of his high school friends, so we did. I am on the fence about that guy. On the one hand, he was super hospitable and mostly very nice. On the other hand, he's the type of guy who kept arguing facts with me on stuff where I knew that I was right, and since I was a guest in his home, I was too polite to Google it and show him and say "HA!" I later asked Rider about that, and he said the guy is kind of a misogynist who doesn't tend to take women's intelligence very seriously. Some friend! I guess he is one of those high school friends who gets grandfathered in...

In the morning, we got lunch with Rider's father and stepmother. They were both very nice. I had met his father before, but only for like 15 minutes before I had to dash out to catch a plane for work. There was good conversation around the table, and I felt welcomed to the family. Afterward, we went walking around a historic graveyard, and I took a LOT of good pictures.

As the sun set, we headed off on the next leg of our journey. We stayed in a Motel 6 in a popular tourist town that night—our first night alone in days! It was also the shortest leg of our journey, so we got there pretty early and made the most of it. Once we got the pets set up in the room, we Ubered downtown and had a proper date: dinner, drinks, a walk, dessert, and finally some VERY hot hotel sex! One of the other fun parts was that we actually crawled INSIDE one of those giant fake Christmas trees to enjoy our dessert, since it was so cold and windy and the fake pine needles slowed the wind down.

Our plan had originally been to try to have sex in every state along the way, stopping in parks in the states where we weren't staying overnight, and I'd even bought a tent and a foam pad for that purpose, but it turned out to be way too cold! There was no way I was undressing outside, even in a tent, in that weather! But we did get a few! That date night one was one of my favorites.

The next leg of the journey was very long, and we did not arrive to Rider's friend's house until near midnight. His friend is a suburban family man now, and it was a weeknight, so we hung out with him for about half an hour before he was ready for bed, and we again Ubered downtown to check out a city neither of us had been to before. Another friend of Rider's met up with us and gave us a little tour. It seemed like a really cool town, and I'd definitely go back again. We were determined to sleep in the following day, since our next stop wouldn't be exciting so it didn't matter how late we got there. It felt great to get some rest.

We drove a long time the next day. Well. Mostly *I* did. Rider had zero experience pulling a trailer before this trip, and I'd done it cross-country before. He scared the bejesus out of me a few times, so I ended up doing most of the driving after that. There is something in him that does not compute the concept of "go slow when towing with a small car," nor the physics behind braking with something heavy behind you. He only took over for a few short, easy stretches when I needed to take a nap. Better me behind the wheel, as exhausting as it was, than both of us ending up dead. I feel like my typing that sounds a little resentful, but I don't feel that way. It's not his fault.

We pretty much just got to the next town and passed out. The next day we headed to a city where Rider (and also Oona, actually) used to live a very long time ago. We had another date night but called it a night super early since we had to get up at balls o'clock the following day. It was nice to have dinner and a few drinks, though, and unwind a bit.

Our challenge the next day was to try to make it to the leasing office before they closed, so we could sign the lease and pick up the key. To do that, we'd need to make it past the next big city before rush hour hit. Unfortunately, Mother Nature had other plans for us. It started pouring down torrential rain and there was an accident ahead of us on the freeway, and it was officially rush hour by the time we got past it. We pulled off into the city and had breakfast while we regrouped and decided on a plan.

(continued...)
 
(...continued from previous)

We ended up needing to get a hotel reservation since there was no way we would make it in time. Finding a hotel that was a) close enough to our place to Uber over in the morning to meet the manager and sign the lease, b) accepted pets, and c) had parking befitting a car pulling a trailer was a bit of a challenge, but I managed. Thankfully, my boss had given me some extra money for "incidentals"; it was almost totally eaten up between the brakes thing and the fancy hotel that ended up being the only one that fit our criteria.

The hotel ended up being walking distance to Oona's old haunts when she lived on that side of town, so once we got the pets all settled, we did a bit of bar-hopping early, then called it a night. We were soooo glad to be done with the all-day driving days.

Friday morning we woke up early and got our keys. We unloaded and I returned the trailer. Man, did it feel good to drive without dragging that thing around anymore! I got the internet up and running so that Rider could work from home, as that was supposed to be his first day. I made a quick IKEA run to get him something to work on, as he was working on the kitchen counter while kneeling on a rolled up yoga mat, haha.

While I was gone, he tried to go out for food, and he couldn't get out! The door had broken, locking him in! He called the manager, who called a locksmith, who ended up having to take the knob apart and replace some broken parts in it. This whole process thwarted us from meeting up with Oona in the late afternoon as we had intended to.

However, we did get to see her later, after rush hour. We got to meet Toby. He is such a nice guy! I am so happy for her! And it was amazingly good to see her after not seeing her for a year and a half. Reunited at last! We didn't stay long because I was utterly exhausted, but we made plans to properly go out the following night.

Rider and I ran errands all Saturday daytime. We did the rest of the IKEA shopping we needed to do (and ordered it online), went to a couple of thrift stores and the dollar store, etc. We met up with Oona and Toby around 8:00. They came to our neighborhood, where there is a lot of stuff to walk to. We had so much fun! And got quite drunk.

Rider ended up going to bed kind of early, and Toby went to nap in the car for a while (since we still didn't have any furniture and had only the one air mattress). Of course, that led to Oona and I fooling around. I felt bad about it later, because I don't think we were supposed to be. I don't want to help Oona cheat. But I am going to have to be the bigger person and refrain if she can't get permission from Toby, since she gets drunk and messes around with girls. It's just something she does and has always done, since loooong before she ever met Toby.

She should just try to get an exception for me. I'm certainly no threat to their relationship; indeed, I have been supportive of it even when Oona herself has been on the fence. And if she and I were going to run off and get married, we would have done that YEARS ago. We are both just straight enough to need a guy as our main relationship. But anyway, yeah, I shouldn't do that again. It had been so long since I'd seen her, and the temptation was too strong. I am capable of better self control than that.

One terrible thing that happened that night was that Oona spilled beer on my Macbook Pro. So that is currently in the shop and I am borrowing her laptop. She is going to help me pay for the repair, of course, but it's a pain not having it. I'm not angry; I know it was a total accident. Still, I have been hemorrhaging cash due to this move, and even paying for part of it is kind of a hardship for me.

Sunday I had a bunch more errands to run. I did the Target thing and the Home Depot thing while Rider organized the apartment some. One of his musician friends had invited us over to jam and meet her fiancé, but I really just had to sit that one out. I was crampy, just getting my period, tired from all the errand-running, bummed about my computer, a little hung over from drinking so late with Oona, and I had my first day of work in the office in the morning. So instead, I just got a little unpacking done and made sure I was in bed before midnight.

My first day of work yesterday was good. Having a commute again is going to take some getting used to. Luckily, my boss told me I can come in a little later than traditional office hours so that I can sleep in a bit and miss rush hour. I am neither a morning person nor a car person. Also luckily, my boss had a really nice computer for me to work on, so my not having my laptop handy caused minimal inconvenience.

After work, I dropped my laptop off at the Apple store for repair, then went home to eat dinner with Rider, then drove the half hour to Oona's to pick up her laptop as a replacement. Now if I can only get used to the alt codes involved in typing on a Windows computer. :rolleyes:

When we got back from Oona's, Rider and I just chilled the fuck out for a while. It was sorely, sorely needed. We put the air mattress in the living room and put a movie on that Toby had lent us. I fell asleep before it ended, but I did wake up later to put some lovin' on Rider. I had to wake up super, super early this morning to fly out on this business trip, and I knew last night would be the last chance I could get to have sexytimes with him.

The business trip has been fine so far. I am a bit annoyed that the trip coincides with my period because I intended to get my Monistat-ing out of the way while I am stuck here, but I can't really do that with the Diva Cup in. I can't wait to get back to having a normal sex life now that the stress of the move is mostly over.

I had a chance to text with Moss tonight. I guess he and his girl are broken up again. He had messaged me shortly before the move saying he was having a rough time and could use someone to talk to, but it was literally just before we hit the road so I had to tell him I'd talk to him on the other side. He said the holidays were rough with girl problems. I put a visit on the books with him for the end of February (which is when I'll be done with my spate of business trips, then V-day, then my anniversary with Rider). I am not 100% sure yet, but I think the trip will probably be platonic. I still have so much love in my heart for him, but I am not sure I want to get romantically involved again with someone who will pull the rug out from under me whenever he has a chance to go mono with someone.

I also got to IM with Sam tonight. I gave him a brief update on how things were going and he was being super lovey to me in his message, sending kisses and rubs, and saying that hearing from me warmed his heart. I have this slow-burn NRE thing going on with him right now. Like, we have been seeing each other for technically a year and a half, but it has been so slow ramping up and so sporadic that we have gotten to see each other, that it's not evolving like a traditional relationship. But I get all hot and squiggly whenever I think of him.

Rider has been super bummed out about the news of David Bowie dying. He was one of his main heroes, and he has been crying on and off for two days. The news is definitely sad, and I love his music, but he was never that artist, for me, the one who affected me the greatest. I would say that's probably Fiona Apple, who is unlikely to die any time soon, or Jim Morrison, who died ten years before I was even born. Although I did deeply mourn the loss of Kurt Cobain back in the day, but I was an adolescent then, and they feel things so much differently. I don't know how it would have affected me if it had happened today. But I am sad that I can't be there with Rider while he is grieving. I don't get back from this trip until Friday night.

So...I think that is everything! One main takeaway that I have from all of this—the trip, the moving in process, even the social situations before, after, and along the way—is that Rider is absolutely the right person for me to be marrying. The stereotype of long trips and stressful situations is that people end up at each other's throats after a while, but being cooped up in a car with him for a week enduring all kinds of hardships only made me love him more. The dynamic between us is just very smooth. I am the ideas person who plans and gives directions, and he carries out my orders without complaint and tries to make me as comfortable as possible when I struggle with something. When I remarked on the "without complaint" part to him, saying how appreciative I am of it, he seemed puzzled.

"Why would I complain?" he asked.

"Have you even MET most people?" I countered. It seems that most people I have been with before him would turn surly after a while at a never-ending stream of tasks that need doing, but Rider just buckles down and does them. He trusts me completely to know what is necessary and to make the choices that are best for us, and he is completely willing (eager, even) to do whatever those choices entail. I really lucked out with this one! :D
 
Last edited:
Reverie,

I'm so glad you are now on Opposite Coast (hmm, that name won't work now) and that you're back to blogging. Super glad your cat was found, too!

You were missed!

Petunia
 
Petunia said:
Reverie,

I'm so glad you are now on Opposite Coast (hmm, that name won't work now) and that you're back to blogging. Super glad your cat was found, too!

You were missed!

Petunia
Click to expand...

Thank you! I've decided to call it Magnet City because it seems like so many people I know get sucked back there eventually, including me! It's colder there than what I'm used to, but I knew it would be, having lived there before. It's a tradeoff, I guess, for everything else awesome about the place. Rider adores the cooler weather, though, so at least SOMEONE is happy about it. :p
 
I am still on my business trip. I don't get home until tomorrow night. I am feeling pretty exhausted, after still never having very much downtime since well before the move. Not only that, but I am only going to be in town for four days before I then have to go on yet another trip! At least Rider will be joining me for two days of that trip.

I am stuck in this weird emotional limbo where I am super happy that the move is over with, super happy to be in my new city, super happy to be in my new work environment which will lead to more income, and super happy with my relationship with Rider...but I am chagrined at my current state of broke-ness (even with my moving money from my boss, I still spent a pretty penny on eating out and replacing household items, plus I wasn't able to work for like a week and a half), reaching a serious burnout point from lack of downtime, and not happy that all of this eating out has made my pants very tight!

So on the one hand, I have a lot to be happy about and thankful for, but on the other hand, it's hard to be happy and thankful when I am exhausted, worried about money, and feeling kind of physically gross. It balances out at sort of a neutral place where I am just putting one foot in front of the other, zombie-like, not elated but not breaking, either.

I did have a talk with Oona about the cheating thing. Turns out we're both on exactly the same page and both of us want not to do anything anymore until (unless?) she gets a pass from Toby. She says she thinks it'll happen in time.

And I also had a sexy videochat with Rider last night. I was desperately wanting to see him naked despite being so tired. That was fun. My heart races remembering it.

We're going to see Aurora when we go on that trip next week. I fly out on Wednesday, then Rider flies out to meet me on Friday. Aurora's work schedule is almost polar opposite of mine, but we do both have Saturday daytime off, so we'll get together for a bit then, I suppose. I'm in a hotel the first two nights, then Rider and I are staying with our friend the other two nights. This totally rules out anything actually happening on more than a friend level with Aurora; the afternoon shortly before she has to work couldn't be less ideal.

Rider has his job interview for his transfer today! In just a couple hours, I will know whether he will be employed! If he gets it, that will take some of the money stress off of me; he can pay for half of the rent instead of less than a third of it, and the difference can go toward my continuing to pay my debt off. I know he is excited at the prospect and feels good about his chances. If he gets it, he'll be making $10k–$15k more per year than at his old job, and for a more prestigious subsidiary of the company, so it'll be a real résumé booster.

As for me, I have one or two hours of work left tonight, then I intend to get room service and call it a night. My internal clock is so messed up from moving between time zones, spending four days in my new home, then flying to a different time zone again. It does not care that it will be a weird hour for sleep; it just wants sleep, and wants it now. I forget what it's like to not be busy...
 
Rider got the job!!! :D

giphy.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top