TheBlackSwede
New member
...from such previous threads as:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3675
and
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4446
To the current situation, which I'm about to share with you
We have all, as a family, moved back to the West Coast. We took the drive together, my wife, our dog, and our little boy, all in my truck, towing a U-Haul trailer. We made a vacation of it, and in many ways, it was the most fun we've had in years. I was giddy about coming home again, about leaving DC behind, and in that cathartic way that sometimes change can be so exhilarating, I almost felt like I was teenager again. The open road, the V8 engine chugging along, my own two hands and busted knuckles doing repairs and maintenance to keep it alive, experiencing so many new things for the first time, all together. We drove through the South, saw New Orleans, ate crawdads, basked on a pristine beach in Florida. It's times like those that I could never imagine not having a family, not having a partner, not being a father.
We haven't really been poly for months. When I came back from my extended stay, I tried dating a new woman, but things didn't work out. The next lady I tried to date flaked on me, and I kinda stopped caring. G didn't look for a new lover, because she didn't want me to feel like I was being left out, which, though sweet, was unnecessary (but still appreciated).
Once we were back in CA, she wondered if I'd see my previous lover, N, now that we were back. I told her I wasn't in a rush, and I'm not. A week or so after our return, we bumped into N at the Farmers Market. G slipped away while I said hi, and avoided meeting her, which made me sad. N is a friend more than a lover, and I'm perfectly happy to keep our relationship as friendship; that's more important to me than sex. I asked her why, and G said that she just wasn't sure if she was ready to meet another of my ladies yet. I understood, and still do. All things in time.
Later, she expressed to me that she missed having a lover, a sentiment that I echoed.
It wasn't long after we got back that job offers came in for me, but all were in Los Angeles, as I expected. What I do isn't exactly dependable or consistent, but it pays well, so I took a gig and went up there to work, coming home to see my family on the days off. While I was there, I finally got around to updating my OKC account, listing LA as my new location. Much to my surprise, I got a pretty good amount of interest within only a few days of doing this. One lady seemed particularly interesting and beautiful, so we decided to meet that same night. It was very spur of the moment, and as she's a few years younger than me, I expected as much.
We met for dinner and drinks, went bar-hopping a bit. I was careful not to drink too much, despite the flowing of Scotch, the booze I can scarcely say no to. Each time she excused herself to the ladies room to freshen up, she presented me with a new napkin with her lipstick on it, and I kept these.
We have chemistry, L and I. We have a lot in common, as well. And she and G have more in common than I think either would want to admit. I was, of course, completely open and honest with both of them, and despite L's insistence that there would be no hanky-panky, and my own lack of expectation, we made love late into the night.
Sheepishly, I snuck home to my friends' house on the West Side where I had been staying (we're not "out" yet, so our friends don't know), and managed about 2 hours sleep before another long day of work, this time with friends on their own pet project, which I had stayed past finishing my previous gig to aid with. Meeting a potential new lover was icing on the cake!
As the day wore on, L and I texted covertly. She wanted to cook me dinner that night, and wanted to see me again badly. I did, as well. Finally, I headed over at about 10 PM. We ate. (Damn, that lady can cook! Not as good as G, but I was impressed.)
We talked, we made love. And this time I brought my mandolin. I played music. She painted. It was so... Bohemian. I left feeling like I was 20 years old again, though an exhausted 20-year old, as I'm actually 30, and was managing all this on two hours sleep and numerous 14+ hour work days.
I made it back to my friends' house at a reasonable hour, slept like a baby, and banged out a solid day's work the next day, kicking ass and taking names like I haven't done in years, using skills I haven't used in years. Seems the Old Silverback still knows a thing or two.
Headed back home to my family that night, very happy to be home, and among them. Dealt with a sick kid Sunday through now, and a somewhat insecure G. I think she still has issues with me having feelings for another person.
It's far too early to know whether or not I love L. The answer for now is "not yet." G doesn't like it. I've told her that I can't predict the future, and that my heart will do as it pleases, whether I tell it one thing or another. But what I do know, is that my love for G will remain, firm as bedrock, and eclipsing all other feelings I have, save those towards my child, until my dying day.
I don't know if I will fall in love with L, but I think it could happen. I'm definitely twitterpated, though.
I haven't had work all week, and L is missing me. G doesn't want me to go up there just to see her, and this early on, I guess I can understand that. But I'm hoping I get more work, soon, and not just because we could use the money.
Thanks for reading. More to come as it happens. Feels good to get this out somewhere. Hope you're all well.
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3675
and
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4446
To the current situation, which I'm about to share with you
We have all, as a family, moved back to the West Coast. We took the drive together, my wife, our dog, and our little boy, all in my truck, towing a U-Haul trailer. We made a vacation of it, and in many ways, it was the most fun we've had in years. I was giddy about coming home again, about leaving DC behind, and in that cathartic way that sometimes change can be so exhilarating, I almost felt like I was teenager again. The open road, the V8 engine chugging along, my own two hands and busted knuckles doing repairs and maintenance to keep it alive, experiencing so many new things for the first time, all together. We drove through the South, saw New Orleans, ate crawdads, basked on a pristine beach in Florida. It's times like those that I could never imagine not having a family, not having a partner, not being a father.
We haven't really been poly for months. When I came back from my extended stay, I tried dating a new woman, but things didn't work out. The next lady I tried to date flaked on me, and I kinda stopped caring. G didn't look for a new lover, because she didn't want me to feel like I was being left out, which, though sweet, was unnecessary (but still appreciated).
Once we were back in CA, she wondered if I'd see my previous lover, N, now that we were back. I told her I wasn't in a rush, and I'm not. A week or so after our return, we bumped into N at the Farmers Market. G slipped away while I said hi, and avoided meeting her, which made me sad. N is a friend more than a lover, and I'm perfectly happy to keep our relationship as friendship; that's more important to me than sex. I asked her why, and G said that she just wasn't sure if she was ready to meet another of my ladies yet. I understood, and still do. All things in time.
Later, she expressed to me that she missed having a lover, a sentiment that I echoed.
It wasn't long after we got back that job offers came in for me, but all were in Los Angeles, as I expected. What I do isn't exactly dependable or consistent, but it pays well, so I took a gig and went up there to work, coming home to see my family on the days off. While I was there, I finally got around to updating my OKC account, listing LA as my new location. Much to my surprise, I got a pretty good amount of interest within only a few days of doing this. One lady seemed particularly interesting and beautiful, so we decided to meet that same night. It was very spur of the moment, and as she's a few years younger than me, I expected as much.
We met for dinner and drinks, went bar-hopping a bit. I was careful not to drink too much, despite the flowing of Scotch, the booze I can scarcely say no to. Each time she excused herself to the ladies room to freshen up, she presented me with a new napkin with her lipstick on it, and I kept these.
We have chemistry, L and I. We have a lot in common, as well. And she and G have more in common than I think either would want to admit. I was, of course, completely open and honest with both of them, and despite L's insistence that there would be no hanky-panky, and my own lack of expectation, we made love late into the night.
Sheepishly, I snuck home to my friends' house on the West Side where I had been staying (we're not "out" yet, so our friends don't know), and managed about 2 hours sleep before another long day of work, this time with friends on their own pet project, which I had stayed past finishing my previous gig to aid with. Meeting a potential new lover was icing on the cake!
As the day wore on, L and I texted covertly. She wanted to cook me dinner that night, and wanted to see me again badly. I did, as well. Finally, I headed over at about 10 PM. We ate. (Damn, that lady can cook! Not as good as G, but I was impressed.)
We talked, we made love. And this time I brought my mandolin. I played music. She painted. It was so... Bohemian. I left feeling like I was 20 years old again, though an exhausted 20-year old, as I'm actually 30, and was managing all this on two hours sleep and numerous 14+ hour work days.
I made it back to my friends' house at a reasonable hour, slept like a baby, and banged out a solid day's work the next day, kicking ass and taking names like I haven't done in years, using skills I haven't used in years. Seems the Old Silverback still knows a thing or two.
Headed back home to my family that night, very happy to be home, and among them. Dealt with a sick kid Sunday through now, and a somewhat insecure G. I think she still has issues with me having feelings for another person.
It's far too early to know whether or not I love L. The answer for now is "not yet." G doesn't like it. I've told her that I can't predict the future, and that my heart will do as it pleases, whether I tell it one thing or another. But what I do know, is that my love for G will remain, firm as bedrock, and eclipsing all other feelings I have, save those towards my child, until my dying day.
I don't know if I will fall in love with L, but I think it could happen. I'm definitely twitterpated, though.
I haven't had work all week, and L is missing me. G doesn't want me to go up there just to see her, and this early on, I guess I can understand that. But I'm hoping I get more work, soon, and not just because we could use the money.
Thanks for reading. More to come as it happens. Feels good to get this out somewhere. Hope you're all well.
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