The Poly Community

Al99

Al99

Well-known member
I didn't want to risk hijacking Jet316's thread about "fitting in" but I think Ravenscroft brings up an interesting point in his reply to Jet's post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jet316:
I have found my place and comfort within the Poly community.

Ravenscroft replied:
Please define "poly community".
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For many years, I have participated in forums centered around a certain philosophical construct - let's just say it's Frisbeetariansim. Now, there are a few prominent authors, teachers, books, study groups, classes, fourms etc surrounding this philosophy - but no actual central authority.

Sometimes someone in a forum or group or such will mention the "Frisbeetarian community" - and as often as not a heavy duty discussion will erupt as to whether there is even such a thing.

So - is there a "poly community"- and, if so, what does it look like - how is it defined?

We do seem to have a bit of a community here on our little corner of the Internet at the intersection of polyamory and .com - but the "poly community" looks quite different on the local metro poly FB groups to which I subscribe (with an pseudonym).

Anybody care to take a stab at it? Thoughts - comments?

Frisbee Freely! Al
 
There is no overall poly community, unless you are talking about in a general sense. I suppose there are local poly communities out there somewhere. I belonged to one in Seattle. It was awful, but it wasn't all about poly.

A forum like this is a bit of a community. We couldn't call it THE poly community though.
 
I often refer to this place as our community, but as Vinsanity said, it's not THE poly community. I'm part of a local poly community IRL, but as far as I know, there is no sense of a larger Poly Community or a polyamorist brotherhood like the Masons. I dunno, maybe people who regularly attend those conferences feel it, but I don't.
 
A chief tenet of the frisbeetarian community is that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.

Thanks George Carlin

Leetah
 
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I belong to a few online poly communities, this one and on FB. I'm kinky, and many kinky people are also poly so there is a significant overlapping community for me there. Finally I'm involved with my local poly group, moderating and attending various events. Most of my friends identify as poly. So If find myself, inadvertently, in a bit of a poly/kink ghetto.

I personally am really grateful that I have the opportunity to interact with poly, poly-friendly or poly-curious people in 'meat space' as well as online. I believe my experience of poly would be dramatically different if I did not have access to a broad poly community, in person and online.
 
I guess one way to define "the poly community" would be, "all practicing polyamorists taken as a group." Not a tightly-knit group in that case, but I tend to think that's what people loosely mean when they say "the poly community."
 
A chief tenet of the frisbeetarian community is that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.

Thanks George Carlin

Leetah
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Yes! - and there are so many philosophical and theological nuances to consider.... :D
 
I'd say wherever people with an interest and/or experience with a thing come together and talk about it and socialize with that as a commonality bonding them together, you have something like a community.

No, there is no organized leadership or set of rules, that would take it out of "community" and into the realm of "organization."

I used to talk about the GWAR fan community, and I had hundreds of friends (loosely using that term) all over the world...I'd met many in person, but only very rarely, mostly we talked online. I am still socially connected to many of those folks, but no longer really consider myself to be part of the "community" because my personal investment in the focal point has diminished. I'm not interested in traveling to events, helping to organize group lodging discounts or after parties, or generally putting my energy into related activities anymore.

I am primarily active in the kink community, but consider myself maintaining tenuous ties to the poly community, mostly due to my appreciation for certain relationship ideals and concepts I've gained from it (though much also from the kink scene.) People who relate differently have to think outside the box sometimes. That has value to me. So while my participation might have diminished in doing actual poly things, my interest hasn't waned, so I'm still around. And as opalescent says, there is much overlap between kink and poly, so it's good to have a framework to understand what my many poly friends are about.
 
kdt26417 said:
I guess one way to define "the poly community" would be, "all practicing polyamorists taken as a group." Not a tightly-knit group in that case, but I tend to think that's what people loosely mean when they say "the poly community."
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I tend to think of the poly community as a much less organized/visible sect of society, but a sect nonetheless, in the same way I think of the LGBTQIA+ community. Just like there are all kinds of practicing polyamorists, there are all kinds of queers. Because of our being a rather unconventional species with regards to wider society, we become a "community" by default, but we are by no means monolithic. This can be true of any marginalized group of people.
 
We fell into the "community" trap in the '80s with Wicca. Every Wiccan group (particularly in Minneapolis) would get to some size -- maybe a couple dozen -- then start to think of itself as THE community. My household played a role in breaking down these barriers in the 1980s, organizing public rituals & meetings then working our contacts to invite Wiccans from all across the Twin Cities & even down into Wisconsin.

kdt26417 said:
"all practicing polyamorists taken as a group."
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PurpleSun said:
Just like there are all kinds of practicing polyamorists, there are all kinds of queers.
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IMO, it'd be beneficial to avoid the "practicing" part. A mono person intimately attached to a poly person is not thereby polyamorous, & would be by definition excluded from any such community.

Let's not forget that some of us have the support of family & friends. I'd argue that those people must be part of such a community.

And there's some people who say that if (say) Fred isn't literally screwing two or more people right this very moment, then Fred's "not really poly." This attitude excludes those who are satisfied with being asexual, or celibate, or with one partner, no matter how experienced we are with "multiple loves."
 
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