Hello, although I've been in a poly relationship for a year it's all still pretty new to me and I'm finding it more, not less, confusing, hence starting to post. I met a woman over a year ago who is in a long term relationship (15+yrs) with a man, they have young children together. After a lot of discussion with her partner we started a relationship. It's been a wonderful, enriching, loving and passionate relationship which I am truly grateful for. But I am struggling with jealousy and not spending enough time with her (due to the young children). I'm at a bit of a crossroads with Christmas coming up as I will not be able to spend much time with her over the festive season. My main issues are: am I really ok with a poly relationship? I'm worried I just want to have a mono relationship with her and I will never fully accept her other relationship. The second main issue is do I start seeing other people? None of my friends are familiar with polyamory and it all feels a bit lonely at times. Looking forward to spending more time here.... M
Too Many Questions about Polyamory
- Thread starter mnoo1
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Welcome. Yes, it can be hard being a "secondary," and not having holidays with a person who is partnered with someone else, has kids with them, etc.
Maybe she's great and all, but you really want primary partner of your own. In that case, by all means start dating others. Maybe you will find you want to be mono with someone else. Or maybe you will find you are comfortable still having your current partner as YOUR secondary, while being primaries with someone else. Only you can decide.
Maybe she's great and all, but you really want primary partner of your own. In that case, by all means start dating others. Maybe you will find you want to be mono with someone else. Or maybe you will find you are comfortable still having your current partner as YOUR secondary, while being primaries with someone else. Only you can decide.
Hi mnoo1,
Glad to meet you here.
I basically agree with Magdlyn's advice. You probably want a primary relationship and yet you're kind of cast in the role of a secondary. Therefore, I'd recommend dating/meeting some new people. I know polyamory is new and a little scary right now, but just make friends with people at first and let them know you're thinking about polyamory. If they have questions, you can probably find the answers on this forum!
I imagine you've lurked a bit on this site but for convenience's sake, I'll list a few of our boards that may be helpful to you:
Hope things work out for you alright.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Glad to meet you here.
I basically agree with Magdlyn's advice. You probably want a primary relationship and yet you're kind of cast in the role of a secondary. Therefore, I'd recommend dating/meeting some new people. I know polyamory is new and a little scary right now, but just make friends with people at first and let them know you're thinking about polyamory. If they have questions, you can probably find the answers on this forum!
I imagine you've lurked a bit on this site but for convenience's sake, I'll list a few of our boards that may be helpful to you:
Hope things work out for you alright.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.