Hi, I realized that I never talk or write about our situation in the triad with nobody. I just still by explaining that everything is ok and only sometimes add some small problem, maybe like a joke or something. I was just too scared to truly share my poly life with someone.
So...skip the beginning. We are together for almost four years, three and a half we live together. We never truly spoke about our triad as closed, our relationships outside the triad are intensive, sometimes more romantical, sometimes more sexual...
So here is the thing - at the beginning of our relationship, there was a close friendship between "my"two men - Sun (now 40) and Cap. Nic (now 25). I knew and love them both and we begin to date and be sexual all three together. We all identify as bisexual.
As from the beginning, i still have one fear - what if they are better off without me? This fear is a little bit stupid after four years I know. I just know they have the same problems with sexuality in their relationship - and it usually gets better at the moment I am not at home for some longer period of time. I studied for a year in a different country during our relationship and at this time they had "better" sex together. I feel they are spending more time together. I catch myself asking Cap. Nic if he wants me to be his secondary partner and focuses more on his relationship with Sun. He declined it and we have a really nice evening together.
Somehow I found myself all the time in motion. Some bond between two partners became stronger, then not so strong. We are still happy together, but at the same time changing. So I just maybe want to know if you have some similar experience? Or how you deal with such a feeling... I am not jealous, I am maybe scared of my unnecessarily. I just know that I am truly unnecessary, that their love will live without me and at the same time they want me to be with them.
So...skip the beginning. We are together for almost four years, three and a half we live together. We never truly spoke about our triad as closed, our relationships outside the triad are intensive, sometimes more romantical, sometimes more sexual...
So here is the thing - at the beginning of our relationship, there was a close friendship between "my"two men - Sun (now 40) and Cap. Nic (now 25). I knew and love them both and we begin to date and be sexual all three together. We all identify as bisexual.
As from the beginning, i still have one fear - what if they are better off without me? This fear is a little bit stupid after four years I know. I just know they have the same problems with sexuality in their relationship - and it usually gets better at the moment I am not at home for some longer period of time. I studied for a year in a different country during our relationship and at this time they had "better" sex together. I feel they are spending more time together. I catch myself asking Cap. Nic if he wants me to be his secondary partner and focuses more on his relationship with Sun. He declined it and we have a really nice evening together.
Somehow I found myself all the time in motion. Some bond between two partners became stronger, then not so strong. We are still happy together, but at the same time changing. So I just maybe want to know if you have some similar experience? Or how you deal with such a feeling... I am not jealous, I am maybe scared of my unnecessarily. I just know that I am truly unnecessary, that their love will live without me and at the same time they want me to be with them.
