Triads - Move out without breaking up?

[doglover0217]

I'm wondering if anyone has experience in a triad where you moved in together, but the shared space made the relationship really challenging (lack of space, individuality, personal time).

One partner feels they are stretched very thin because they have to cater to the other two partners, and it's causing a rift. [Love is infinite, but time isn't]. There is also the issue of what was once a triad shifting more to a V, and the tip of the V is becoming increasingly frustrated that the two partners demand/ask for so much.

My thought is that it's the space. We live in a tiny apartment because of a big move and a financial change. My other thought is that the tip of the V is trying to hold together the triad, but the two partners aren't quite on board. They're invested in the V and in staying in a relationship, but not having it be a forced triad.

Has anyone ever moved out of a triad home and successfully maintained a relationship with one or both partners? ANY relevant experiences would be so helpful!

 

[IndieSolo]

If you do a Tag Search for the terms "triad," "triad fallout," "triad dynamics," "living together," and "cohabitation," you'll find lots of threads that are relevant. The search functions here will give you a wealth of info.

 

[kdt26417]

Hi doglover0217,

My poly unit was always a V, but we definitely had a time early in our relationship when we all tried to live together and it didn't work out. We switched to a situation where we lived in two separate domiciles, and I think that saved our poly relationship. A few years later, we started living together again by degrees, with much caution and more experience, and that worked out much better. We've been living in the same place ever since.

I'm a privacy hog, that's the main issue for me at least. Anyway, I recommend moving out without breaking up. It can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[vinsanity0]

No reason why it can't work as a V. It's ok that the other two don't want to have that kind of a relationship. I would quit worrying about trying to "save the triad".

 

[FallenAngelina]

... the tip of the V is trying to hold together the triad, but the two partners aren't quite on board.

This is the issue, not "space" or "time." The key is to first be clear about what each of you wants and then make choices about what space and time will best support that (as in Kevin's example.) "Time" is never the problem, lack of clarity is.