My life could be a reality series. Many of us probably think that here. It's just crazier than words and makes no real sense, at first at least.
I've been surrounded by sex my whole life (literally, my father made lifestyle gear by trade), but I've never really felt a draw to the sex part itself, until recently. I still am far more in the emotional side of things than the physical.
I have always had mono relationships, but I always felt like I needed more. When I met my ex-husband at 22, I fell head over heels and he was my god. We had a ton of struggles, abuse, addiction issues, cheating...all the normal stuff that happens in the dysfunctional relationships, and then after almost 10 years it ended. I was devastated, he was my 1...he was not devastated.
So, I contacted a (married) high school friend and got passionate quick and within days he was at my house every night for a year and then things went sour, as they usually do in these things. He cheated, I helped him...not super proud of all that, but in all our talks and time together, he introduced me to something that have a feeling I will be grateful for forever.
Poly. I haven't quite figured out the "rules" yet, or what exactly this means for me...I mean, I do still have jealousy issues, and trust issues... But the possibilities are very real for me. I have said for the longest time ever, no one person can give us everything we need. It works for some, I guess...but when I realized that this was something other people could relate to, I was elated.
My most current issue is that darn ex-husband. He has come into my life again, we can't seem to stay away from each other no matter how much we want to. A little over a year ago, I hated him and deleted every trace of him in my life that I could. A short time ago, we somehow popped back into each other's lives. We supported each other as we broke up with our former significant others, who we both very much cared about, within a day of each other. He randomly came on my week-long vacation to a friend’s house to get away from it cause it happened my vacation fell the same weekend I broke up with my ex. Now, we're talking about the chance to have a life where we both can have what we need. How to even frame that yet is confusing. It focuses on respect, trust, communication and sex. How is this even possible...three years ago...we hated each other. Confusing to say the least.
That extremely long and needlessly detailed introduction aside
...I have decided to finally look into this world I am so interested in learning more about and figuring out if it's what I need, want and deserve to live. Hoping that this is a good community to do it and that I can make some good friends and mentors.
<3
I've been surrounded by sex my whole life (literally, my father made lifestyle gear by trade), but I've never really felt a draw to the sex part itself, until recently. I still am far more in the emotional side of things than the physical.
I have always had mono relationships, but I always felt like I needed more. When I met my ex-husband at 22, I fell head over heels and he was my god. We had a ton of struggles, abuse, addiction issues, cheating...all the normal stuff that happens in the dysfunctional relationships, and then after almost 10 years it ended. I was devastated, he was my 1...he was not devastated.
So, I contacted a (married) high school friend and got passionate quick and within days he was at my house every night for a year and then things went sour, as they usually do in these things. He cheated, I helped him...not super proud of all that, but in all our talks and time together, he introduced me to something that have a feeling I will be grateful for forever.
Poly. I haven't quite figured out the "rules" yet, or what exactly this means for me...I mean, I do still have jealousy issues, and trust issues... But the possibilities are very real for me. I have said for the longest time ever, no one person can give us everything we need. It works for some, I guess...but when I realized that this was something other people could relate to, I was elated.
My most current issue is that darn ex-husband. He has come into my life again, we can't seem to stay away from each other no matter how much we want to. A little over a year ago, I hated him and deleted every trace of him in my life that I could. A short time ago, we somehow popped back into each other's lives. We supported each other as we broke up with our former significant others, who we both very much cared about, within a day of each other. He randomly came on my week-long vacation to a friend’s house to get away from it cause it happened my vacation fell the same weekend I broke up with my ex. Now, we're talking about the chance to have a life where we both can have what we need. How to even frame that yet is confusing. It focuses on respect, trust, communication and sex. How is this even possible...three years ago...we hated each other. Confusing to say the least.
That extremely long and needlessly detailed introduction aside
...I have decided to finally look into this world I am so interested in learning more about and figuring out if it's what I need, want and deserve to live. Hoping that this is a good community to do it and that I can make some good friends and mentors.<3
. 
. See the raindrops fall from one leaf to another. Really. I'm absorbing every second every voice everyone. I'm loving every minute of it.