Unicorn? Or horse with a fake horn?

Ah, cool. I can understand Nails, to a certain degree, as maintaining two (or more) full relationships can be tiresome, and I am not too sure I am all that bothered either. Not that I want monogamy either, mind.
 
"I think it was an illusion because she was caught up in it and then realized I wasn't what she wanted."

Yep, that'll happen. :confused: I would've fallen into much the same trap she did if my gf and her husband hadn't already been through one failed unicorn experiment, which taught them not to try to push things in that direction. It would've exploded in a different way, due to his lack of interest in me, rather than my lack of interest in her, but it could've been just as unfortunate. It sucks when we have to learn things the hard way.
 
sortafairytale said:
If she wants Nails, well, I can't do anything about that. And Nails has already made it very very clear he wants no side relationship with her on his own, if she and I are not in a relationship. He isn't looking for a girlfriend for himself. He only wants a girlfriend for us.
Click to expand...

I was going to respond to this bit one way (i.e., the pitfalls of expecting all relationships to proceed at the same pace, etc.), and then I read on...

sortafairytale said:
As for the package deal, that was just how it went. It caught all three of us by surprise and we went with it. ... Nails and I talked and right now he's pretty certain that if this happens again, the woman will have to either want just me, or both of us. He doesn't want another woman, and he doesn't think he's poly to the degree of running two or more relationships. Friendships with the possibility of sex now and then is more of what he wants. It doesn't mean that won't change later. It's just how he's feeling for now, and how he was feeling for the last month or so.
Click to expand...

So it really does sound as though the two of you are open to a lot of different possibilities:

Girlfriend just for you.
GF for both of you (possibly to different degrees, more into one of you, but still interested in the other?).
GF for you, who is a FWB for him.
FWB for him only.
FWB for you only?
FWB for both of you?

And the possibility of a GF for him only is pretty much not on the table for him, currently.

It looks like this has clarified some things for the two of you, and you have the experience of this relationship under your belt now. I'm sorry that your "GF for both of us" turned into more of a cowgirl. Not all relationships are meant to be.

Live. Love. Be happy.

JaneQ
 
I think sometimes when you get beyond the initial lust and attraction, you get to know the person better and realize they aren't for you. I've heard this happening often in a triad situation where the "third" prefers one partner over the other. It's a shame it has to be a package deal, because this could very well happen again and again.
 
Thank you to everyone who chimed in on this. I really appreciate it. Things have gotten ugly with Giggles, and it makes me sad because I was hopeful that the friendships could be salvaged and hopefully not completely fade. I'm not good at letting people I care about go. I'm still friends with most of my exes, because once I care, I tend to care forever. Giggles has decided that everything is my fault and that I was too verbally abusive to her. Both Nails and I are completely confused about what I ever said to her that she has found so offensive, and Giggles is not elaborating.

I'm exhausted mentally, and heartbroken, but I'll get through it. I forgot after almost 17 years of being with Nails how much breaking up sucks ass!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top