So if you have read my "I don't like her." post you are somewhat familiar with this situation.
So I'll continue from there.
Scorpio was trying way too hard to be my friend. Texting, asking a bajilliion questions, and generally getting on my nerves with said questions. Apparently she wasn't liking the way I responded to her even though I was responding to her like I would to any of my friends, and eventually told her I was not a fan of the question game.
She said something to the mister about it I guess, in passing, and he voiced a concern about me giving her "one word" or "dismissive" answers which was not the case, started a spat between he and I, we eventually moved passed it after I showed him the word-for-word conversation.
"Well, she's trying. She's socially awkward, like you are. I don't think you're giving her much of a chance."
I'm socially awkward, but I don't interrogate people. Whatever, he knows her better than I do. I never dismissed her, I never told her to go away, don't bother me, I'm done talking to you, etc.
Anyway, this kind of started a whole dramatic THING.
The short version is I told him I didn't want to talk to her anymore.
Scorpio and Sadge got into an argument shortly after and it turned into Scorpio messaging Sadge and myself to "forget or lose her number" and I guess she "broke up" with the mister (which she talked about doing all the time because, "[she's] a problem," and "it won't work if we all don't get along"), and the next day when Sadge and I are way past over it, but hurting for mister for his loss, she sends us some dramatic exit text about how she doesn't understand why things couldn't work out, something something communication (she has a habit of going to the mister for conflict resolution between herself and Sadge or myself and it annoyed us both greatly to hear about it from him instead of from her [and is why I didn't want to talk to her anymore, because I find that kind of thing to be manipulative], so that was kind of funny).
Their breakup didn't last long. She's kind of flakey, in my opinion, and I didn't expect it to. She seems to flip-flop on things involving other people quite a lot.
Anyway, since Sadge and Scorpio are in the same city, I guess Sadge decided she'd try again to get along with her and they've been hanging out again and all that jazz.
Scorpio has apparently told both Sadge and the mister that she is "done" or "done trying" with me, though.
The day before last however, out of nowhere, she sent me a link to morethantwo.com's "Poly Dos and Don'ts" article.
No hi, no "*&^%$, you should read this", no nothing. Just the url.
My immediate thoughts were, "*&^%$, I don't need your tips," and "I should send her back the quote about not trying to force your relationships into pre-defined shapes, and nothing else."
I didn't send her anything. Instead, I talked to the mister about it. He conveniently asked me how I was right after this happened, so I told him something like, "Well, confused. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but Scorpio just sent me this link. Nothing else, not even a hello. It comes across as kind of passive aggressive. You know her better than I do, but I did not interpret this well. I don't want you to talk to her about it, I just want you to know she is sending me things like this." That she and I have not talked for weeks is something he already knows.
And he was like, "I think you're misinterpreting her intentions." and that Sadge and Scorpio had been looking up poly stuff online, which I already knew because I was on messenger with Sadge at the time.
He said something to Sadge about it, I guess figuring I wouldn't have a problem with that. Sadge already knew because I had mentioned it to her, like, why would she send me this out of nowhere? You knwo her better than I do.
I guess she'd sent Sadge the same link, but at the mister asking about it, Sadge asked Scorpio why she sent it to me, and Scorpio told her that she didn't know.
She doesn't know why she sent a link to someone she's said she's "done" with, who hasn't talked to her or vice versa in weeks? Um. Kay.
Anyway, the mister came to visit our son and myself yesterday and he brought a box with him.
In the box were gifts from Scorpio. Cookies for mister, a toy for our son, some books for our son, a bag of cookies (with coffee in them, because that seems like a good idea?) for our son, and a belt and a bag of brownies for me.
I don't even understand. Let's set aside the annoyance of someone who has a small child sending cookies with coffee in them for a toddler; why the hell is she sending me gifts?
She's "done" with me, remember?
I do not like people who flip-flop like this. I am not friends with people who are dramatic, who like to paint themselves as a victim and a martyr, and certainly not people who go back and forth about which people they do and do not want to be in contact with.
I am not the most positive person. I admit this readily; I have a pretty negative outlook on life.
However, I don't usually think people are manipulative and actively trying to manipulate a situation, but this is the impression I am getting here.
Scorpio has previously pointed out to Sadge, if not to the mister, "I am trying so hard! I don't think she's trying at all! We all need to be friends!" in regards to me 'not trying hard enough' to be her friend.
So part of me is seeing her sending me gifts as, "See, Mister, I am trying! She is not!" because she sends these things to his house in a box addressed to him, because that is the address she has. There was not a note in there about the things for me, just a yellow belt, which is obviously not for him, and a bag of brownies labeled "For [Invi]."
Maybe she is trying still and she just doesn't know how, and just doesn't understand that given my current impression of her, I am just not interested.
Or maybe I'm not just imagining things.
It is hard for me to separate myself from this situation to really look at it.
She has plans of visiting the mister in August and I expect he's expecting me to meet her in person, at minimum, which I will do because I know you can't always really know a person online or through text, and obviously he cares about her.
But I don't really want to. And all this is making me want to do so less because I am having trouble interpreting this as anything less than malicious or just plain immature.
That turned more into a rant than a plea for advice. Oh well.
So I'll continue from there.
Scorpio was trying way too hard to be my friend. Texting, asking a bajilliion questions, and generally getting on my nerves with said questions. Apparently she wasn't liking the way I responded to her even though I was responding to her like I would to any of my friends, and eventually told her I was not a fan of the question game.
She said something to the mister about it I guess, in passing, and he voiced a concern about me giving her "one word" or "dismissive" answers which was not the case, started a spat between he and I, we eventually moved passed it after I showed him the word-for-word conversation.
"Well, she's trying. She's socially awkward, like you are. I don't think you're giving her much of a chance."
I'm socially awkward, but I don't interrogate people. Whatever, he knows her better than I do. I never dismissed her, I never told her to go away, don't bother me, I'm done talking to you, etc.
Anyway, this kind of started a whole dramatic THING.
The short version is I told him I didn't want to talk to her anymore.
Scorpio and Sadge got into an argument shortly after and it turned into Scorpio messaging Sadge and myself to "forget or lose her number" and I guess she "broke up" with the mister (which she talked about doing all the time because, "[she's] a problem," and "it won't work if we all don't get along"), and the next day when Sadge and I are way past over it, but hurting for mister for his loss, she sends us some dramatic exit text about how she doesn't understand why things couldn't work out, something something communication (she has a habit of going to the mister for conflict resolution between herself and Sadge or myself and it annoyed us both greatly to hear about it from him instead of from her [and is why I didn't want to talk to her anymore, because I find that kind of thing to be manipulative], so that was kind of funny).
Their breakup didn't last long. She's kind of flakey, in my opinion, and I didn't expect it to. She seems to flip-flop on things involving other people quite a lot.
Anyway, since Sadge and Scorpio are in the same city, I guess Sadge decided she'd try again to get along with her and they've been hanging out again and all that jazz.
Scorpio has apparently told both Sadge and the mister that she is "done" or "done trying" with me, though.
The day before last however, out of nowhere, she sent me a link to morethantwo.com's "Poly Dos and Don'ts" article.
No hi, no "*&^%$, you should read this", no nothing. Just the url.
My immediate thoughts were, "*&^%$, I don't need your tips," and "I should send her back the quote about not trying to force your relationships into pre-defined shapes, and nothing else."
I didn't send her anything. Instead, I talked to the mister about it. He conveniently asked me how I was right after this happened, so I told him something like, "Well, confused. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but Scorpio just sent me this link. Nothing else, not even a hello. It comes across as kind of passive aggressive. You know her better than I do, but I did not interpret this well. I don't want you to talk to her about it, I just want you to know she is sending me things like this." That she and I have not talked for weeks is something he already knows.
And he was like, "I think you're misinterpreting her intentions." and that Sadge and Scorpio had been looking up poly stuff online, which I already knew because I was on messenger with Sadge at the time.
He said something to Sadge about it, I guess figuring I wouldn't have a problem with that. Sadge already knew because I had mentioned it to her, like, why would she send me this out of nowhere? You knwo her better than I do.
I guess she'd sent Sadge the same link, but at the mister asking about it, Sadge asked Scorpio why she sent it to me, and Scorpio told her that she didn't know.
She doesn't know why she sent a link to someone she's said she's "done" with, who hasn't talked to her or vice versa in weeks? Um. Kay.
Anyway, the mister came to visit our son and myself yesterday and he brought a box with him.
In the box were gifts from Scorpio. Cookies for mister, a toy for our son, some books for our son, a bag of cookies (with coffee in them, because that seems like a good idea?) for our son, and a belt and a bag of brownies for me.
I don't even understand. Let's set aside the annoyance of someone who has a small child sending cookies with coffee in them for a toddler; why the hell is she sending me gifts?
She's "done" with me, remember?
I do not like people who flip-flop like this. I am not friends with people who are dramatic, who like to paint themselves as a victim and a martyr, and certainly not people who go back and forth about which people they do and do not want to be in contact with.
I am not the most positive person. I admit this readily; I have a pretty negative outlook on life.
However, I don't usually think people are manipulative and actively trying to manipulate a situation, but this is the impression I am getting here.
Scorpio has previously pointed out to Sadge, if not to the mister, "I am trying so hard! I don't think she's trying at all! We all need to be friends!" in regards to me 'not trying hard enough' to be her friend.
So part of me is seeing her sending me gifts as, "See, Mister, I am trying! She is not!" because she sends these things to his house in a box addressed to him, because that is the address she has. There was not a note in there about the things for me, just a yellow belt, which is obviously not for him, and a bag of brownies labeled "For [Invi]."
Maybe she is trying still and she just doesn't know how, and just doesn't understand that given my current impression of her, I am just not interested.
Or maybe I'm not just imagining things.
It is hard for me to separate myself from this situation to really look at it.
She has plans of visiting the mister in August and I expect he's expecting me to meet her in person, at minimum, which I will do because I know you can't always really know a person online or through text, and obviously he cares about her.
But I don't really want to. And all this is making me want to do so less because I am having trouble interpreting this as anything less than malicious or just plain immature.
That turned more into a rant than a plea for advice. Oh well.
