Update Re: Sweet Lady thread

E

Emmy37

New member
After some time and lots of talking between me and Bud, me and Sweet Lady, Sweet Lady and Bud, then all 3 together, we have it settled. There were things that all 3 of us had on our minds that put everyone into strange head spaces. So apparently even though we thought we were having regular check ins to make sure each person was OK, it wasn't enough talking. I have to admit I'm surprised just how much communication a relationship like this requires. It already felt as if we were talking until we'd talked things through a million times before all of this. :eek:

Could someone please pass me the poly relationship instruction manual. We're gonna need it.
 
Oops, did not see this earlier.
Yep. Tons of communication. Glad you resolved the, uh, problem? Weirdness? Whatever :)
 
Yeah all the communication can be Incredibly daunting. Nate requires a lot of it and we we aren't our relationship suffers
 
A Shaw quote I read and loved recently that sums it all up:

The single biggest problem in communication
is the illusion that it has taken place.
 
Hi Emmy37,

Congrats on your new and improved understanding with each other.

While increasing your quantity of communication (which is important), keep working on the quality as well. There are so many ways we can learn to communicate better; I think the art of communication would take a million years to master.

I currently think that the most vital part of communicating is listening -- and the quality of how well we listen. The most crude kind of listening is the kind where we're in an argument and we're only shutting up long enough to assemble a good retort. A more refined kind of listening is when we want to gain understanding and empathy for the other person, and try to learn from what they have to say. Obviously we want to refine how we listen as much as possible, but I as much as anyone am still guilty of listening crudely.

Ahem. I think that was my sermon for today; hope you don't mind that I put it here.

Best wishes and much love to the three of you,
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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