TLynnP
New member
My husband, who I'll call Vette since he has a corvette, and I have been married for 14 years now. We both were previously married. His first marriage was open and kind of poly. Vette is a very laid back person with the most open mind I have ever met. Since day one he has encouraged me to explore my sexuality knowing that I was attracted to women as well as men. Not until recently have I really felt comfortable with myself to admit that I have always desired to be with more than one person be it male or female. Last year I started opening up to Vette about this and he has been very encouraging. I was kind of surprised he was OK with me wanting to date men as well as women. I still didn't act on it though. Self doubt, low self esteem, fear of dating disappointment (I'm not good at dating), doubt anyone interested in being with a married person....the list goes on. Growing up I didn't dream of the house with the picket fence, husband, 2.5 kids - I daydreamed of a house full of people as a family unit. I loved living with multiple roommates - it's the natural mother hen/care taker in me. I've met other people with multiple partners with different living situations and was jealous - I wanted that! But I had no idea what "that" was or how to get it. It wasn't until 2015 that I heard the word "polyamory" on a panel at a Sci/Fi convention. I really wanted to hunt that guy down afterwords and ask him a million questions. But my insecurities stopped me. This past summer Vette lost his job and because of my encouragement interviewed with a company in another city that I knew he'd love even though he knew I did NOT want to move again. Well of course he got the damn job 
We spent 6 months with him commuting weekly between the cities while I finished renovating our home to get a higher price for our house. I'm a house wife and I was able to spend 12 hours a day working on the house. This gave me A LOT of time to think and no one to talk to. It was horrible. But I did find out more about myself. Up until this point in our marriage I kept expecting Vette to be my "everything" and getting really upset that he wasn't. I won't lie, I thought about leaving. I loved him too much. I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to want to do things with me and like the same things (I know now that is unrealistic). I started reading some erotica books that had poly couples or "reverse harem" story lines. This is where I came across the term polyamory again. I started researching and realized THIS! This is what I have been looking for. Vette is totally supportive of my exploration into the poly world. Since the move we've been much more open, talking about polyamory, what we're comfortable with (at this point anything - we haven't hit on any road blocks). We've both opened a dating profile on OKC. I hadn't had any luck meeting people being a house wife with no kids and not religious. Very limited social circles even with meetup and being in the SCA. Plus I wanted to go on dates/meet people who I knew ahead of time were OK with poly. It's scary dating again. I'm working on my self-esteem and self confidence. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully is OK with open marriages and LGBT. I've met one person through OKC and been to one poly meetup. Reading More Than Two by Eve Rickert which has not been the easiest read due to writing style. We both just started The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy - this is more my speed. I'll keep you posted on my adventures!
We spent 6 months with him commuting weekly between the cities while I finished renovating our home to get a higher price for our house. I'm a house wife and I was able to spend 12 hours a day working on the house. This gave me A LOT of time to think and no one to talk to. It was horrible. But I did find out more about myself. Up until this point in our marriage I kept expecting Vette to be my "everything" and getting really upset that he wasn't. I won't lie, I thought about leaving. I loved him too much. I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to want to do things with me and like the same things (I know now that is unrealistic). I started reading some erotica books that had poly couples or "reverse harem" story lines. This is where I came across the term polyamory again. I started researching and realized THIS! This is what I have been looking for. Vette is totally supportive of my exploration into the poly world. Since the move we've been much more open, talking about polyamory, what we're comfortable with (at this point anything - we haven't hit on any road blocks). We've both opened a dating profile on OKC. I hadn't had any luck meeting people being a house wife with no kids and not religious. Very limited social circles even with meetup and being in the SCA. Plus I wanted to go on dates/meet people who I knew ahead of time were OK with poly. It's scary dating again. I'm working on my self-esteem and self confidence. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully is OK with open marriages and LGBT. I've met one person through OKC and been to one poly meetup. Reading More Than Two by Eve Rickert which has not been the easiest read due to writing style. We both just started The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy - this is more my speed. I'll keep you posted on my adventures!
