Venting

L

lisa6

New member
Hi!

In a triad with husband and my BFF for 2 yrs..

Feeling frustrated over the lack of time BFF has had for us in the last month.. Inhavent had a date with her in 4 weeks.. my husband did have a date with her 2 weeks ago.. we spent one family day together in the last month.. so I saw her once in the last month. She only lives 10 mins away....

There were legitimate reasons- two of her family members had a birthday different weekends and than Easter.. sonthan we come to this weekend..

She doesn't know if she can get together.. Her daughter is home for the weekend and doesn't approve of us.. she has made threats to her mom that she will tell the grandparents if she findouts her mom is dating us. Daughter 20yrs old.. than you have the ex husband who has started staying at her house sat nights to see the younger kids he lives out of state..she used to sleepover some saturdays but now feels weird about doing so she doesn't want ex husband to know.. afraid he won't approve.

All of this limits our with her.. having a hard time dealing with it
 
Hi Lisa.

Vent away. Some situations don't have an obvious solution and sometimes it's someone else's problem that unfairly impacts you. I wonder if your BFF also feels frustrated with the situation or maybe scared?
 
Patience and support are the only productive things you can do here. Things will resolve on their own, I think. Or perhaps these outside influences have her questioning the whole relationship with you, and she will pull away - again, there is nothing productive you can do except be patient and supportive, and hope for the best.
 
Hi!

She expresses worry that her kids will tell her parents..I think more so than the ex husband finding out..

She also expresses frustration because she would like to we us more..

Some months are great and we might see her several times and other months are hard like this past one..

I try to be patient but find it difficult...I would handle things differently in her shoes.. but of course I am not her...if my kids threatened to tell my parents I would hand them the phone and tell them to go for it 😋 I could never tolerate or put up with threats from my kids or anyone. But that's me and my personality.
 
Hi lisa6,

That's a frustrating situation, it sounds like your BFF is really letting her daughter push her around. Have you talked to BFF at all about that? I'm just curious.

I hope you can work out an agreement with her that's more satisfactory for everyone.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Hi!!

We have spoken to her about her oldest daughter pushing her around.. But for the most part we try and stay out of it because after all it is her daughter and her relationship with her daughter...it hurts to watch but we don't have much of a say in what happens regarding this.. we can only offer support..the daughter is moving out soon so this should help a lot...

On a good note we did see BFF this weekend for a group date after all. And it was wonderful..
 
Glad to hear about your group date with BFF. The rest sounds like it will work itself out in time.
 
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