Very new to the idea, but excited to learn

[thatgirlwiththeclay]

I've only in the last year or so even entertained the possibility of polyamory. Before that, it seemed to me something distant, something that existed only in the limited parameters I had experienced it in. (That is, negative media attention and the idea of open relationships, which is obviously not the same thing)

Since then, I've become very interested in the idea of it. I did my own research, discussed it a bit with trusted friends, but ultimately kept my feelings to myself in regards to polyamory. Now, coming to terms with the fact that this is something I want in my own life, possibly something I always wanted and never knew how to express, I'm at a loss for what to do. I found this forum by pure chance and hoped it could help me find answers.

Admittedly, I have no idea how to even begin. My relationships thus far have been built solely on monogamy. I never discussed the possibility of bringing another person into a relationship with previous partners, as I felt that this would lead them to conclude I wanted to leave them, or worse that they were not satisfying company on their own.

I hope you will all help me come to understand this more. I can't wait to become a member of this community, to make new friends, and perhaps more than friends, with like-minded people who share these feelings.

 

[Nadya]

Hello and welcome!

Glad you found this forum! There are tons of information here - take your time to browse and read anything and everything that catches your eye. You will definitely learn a lot. Also, feel free to post and comment on things that you find interesting.

I never discussed the possibility of bringing another person into a relationship with previous partners

Polyamory does not need to be "bringing another person to an existing relationship", even though it is often the first thought of poly newbies. Many poly people want to build separate relationships with different persons, even though they would already be partnered. That means dating new people individually and not as a couple with an existing partner.

Just out of curiosity: are you in a relationship at the moment or are you single? That makes a big difference in the practical approach to poly life.

Anyway, nice to have you here and hope you'll enjoy your stay!

 

[thatgirlwiththeclay]

I'm currently single. And yes, I have been looking through some of the threads that caught my eye, but mostly observing rather than posting. Thanks for the warm welcome!

 

[Nadya]

I think it is easier to start a poly journey when single. Opening up an existing relationship is often very hard - seems like from reading the posts here and elsewhere in the interwebz. I personally have only ever had open relationships and would not have any other way.

Take your time digesting all the new information! Poly life is always DIY, you'll have to pick the approach that fits you best. Have fun learning!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings thatgirlwiththeclay,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Basically what Nadya said, polyamory is all kinds of cool but not something to rush into. Your best first move is to learn as much as you can about polyamory, and there's a lot you can learn on this site. Can I ask, what research have you done so far? Have you had a look at any of the books on poly? I can recommend some really good titles.

If you feel ready to start looking for poly people IRL, there's ways of doing that. There's OKCupid which is a pretty good poly-friendly dating site. Also you can look for local poly groups in your area and participate in their get-togethers. Try googling "polyamory" with the name of your State or nearest major city; some poly groups may emerge.

I have other tips and links for looking for poly people IRL ... Let me know if you're interested ...

I'm glad you could join us and hope you enjoy your stay.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Middlegirl]

I love working with clay in art class

thatgirlwiththeclay hi there, I hope you are having a great Wednesday..

I just wanted to say hello and welcome..