Vetoed relationship but can't get over secondary


New member
I think the multiple interpretations of my statement that Nancyfore and Natja are having is indicative of some of the problems Pol and I are experiencing re: interpreting each other's words and actions. She read me her interpretation of my post yesterday and it couldn't have been further from my intent.

I think you both, along with GalaGirl and NutbusterX, have offered some supportive advice and words since I posted a response. A lot of the negative talk about Pol has died down since, and now the discussion has focused increasingly on practical advice and support. This is what Pol was hoping would have happened if I had defended her earlier. I interpreted her question in the same way GalaGirl and Nancyfore did. It was, however, too little too late.

GalaGirl, thanks for the comments on continuing to show up to the table. Pol and I continue to talk. My postings have hit the TMI problem, but there was additional damage to Pol when my silent response to many postings left her feeling unsupported. Additionally, my tone was read much differently by Pol than I expected. Maybe I need to start using emoticons.


New member
(((hugs))) Egoscout, best of luck with the improvement of the communication between yourself and Pol, having had a very difficult relationship due to very divergent communication styles, I know how difficult it is.



Well-known member
Glad you are both talking and making some progress. WTG! :)

Now that you are both aware of this kind of potential thing you can both take a new action when you converse. Maybe talk slower.

Maybe mirror? Before moving onward in the conversation repeat back in your own words what you think the message was? To avoid misunderstandings and derailing off the tracks later?

Then when you arrive at whatever conclusion, could make it a habit to repeat back the mission to each other.

"Alright. We are in agreement then. I will do ____. You will do ____. Right? Are we good to go?"​

Gives you both a chance to calibrate and make sure you are REALLY on the same page.