Ways to let other know you are poly?

MissyMorbid

MissyMorbid

New member
So I am new to polyamory and do not have much of a poly community in my area, at least none that I am aware of, but I was wondering if there was some easy way to let others know you are poly or to spot that they are. I am unsure if this sounds weird or lame but I thought I should ask.
Is there any way to know or let others know that you are poly? Like in clothing or anything I guess? idk I just want to be able to find others easier -for friends or relationship etc. I kind of really doubt there are certain things but I thought maybe I just wasn't aware? I don't know I probably sound really dumb :confused:
 
I don't know of any way to visually signal being poly.

Personally, if I feel it's necessary to tell people, I tell them. But then again, I'm not actively looking for other poly people to connect with. I have my interaction with other poly folk here; in real life, I'm not much of a joiner.

However, S2 is exploring polyamory--which was one of the reasons my profile on AFF appealed to him, because it states that I'm married and in a committed relationship--and told me he found a polyamory group through Meetup, so if you haven't checked there, that might be a possibility. We're in the Boston metro area, which might be more poly-friendly than where you are, but still, you might be able to find a group to connect with.

(I will advise caution, though, as with meeting anyone. S2 was invited to a beach barbecue with the group he'd connected with; he showed up, couldn't find the group, and now isn't communicating with them because the woman who'd initially connected with him and had promised to introduce him to the others sent him a scathing email for not showing up and not contacting her for a few days.)
 
I'm in North Dakota :( not a lot of open people here, poly queer or otherwise :/
I did kind of look at the Meetup thing earlier but there one group for my state that I saw and its on the other side of the state so wasn't sure if there was much point in joining. I just wish it was easier to meet people. I was trying to make sure I wasn't missing something right in front of me so to speak I guess.
 
It's understandable that you would want to connect with other people who are poly, but maybe just connecting with other people would help? You might make friends who are at least accepting and supportive of polyamory, even if they don't live that way themselves.

I guess I'm not entirely sure what you hope to accomplish by meeting others who are polyamorous. Are you looking for support and like-mindedness? Hoping to find a relationship?
 
Bud, Sweet Lady and I all wear identical infinity necklaces but it isn't to necessarily attract poly people. It's to show our connection to one another. So that alone it simply looks like a necklace. When 2 of us, or all 3 of us go out anywhere it's an outward sign of our connection to each other. Which might in turn attract poly people.
 
Fetlife has lots of poly groups - you might want to check there. I have a poly tattoo on my left hand, but most people recognize it as just a sign for infinite love. :)
 
I like Alan7388's suggestion the best, although you'd mainly be doing it to signify your poly-ness to others. It's (alas) not common for polys to wear such a pin.

Other ways to look for poly people:

You could google "North Dakota polyamory" -- or "polyamory" with the name of your nearest major city.

And,
"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations
Click to expand...

And,
Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Having said all that, I am guessing North Dakota is a hard place to find poly people. Shy of moving (There's a fun thread regarding poly-friendly cities), I think you're just gonna need a lot of patience. You have to believe that the right person/s for you will eventually come into your life.

But yeah, polys don't have a secret handshake or anything like that. :)
 
This has been a tricky one for me. I belong to a particular subculture in which about half of us are some form of poly or at least non-monogamous. Even in that group, I am not fully aware of who is and isn't poly. I just try to bring it up whenever I can in conversation. Sometimes I ask people directly if they are monogamous, although some monogamous people tend to assume you mean "faithful" when you use that term.

I've seen this image used a lot as a symbol of polyamory:

http://www.awesomeyourlife.com/wp-c...preneurship-sacred-economy-joy-revolution.jpg

OkCupid has been a place to meet poly people, although I quickly discovered that a lot of people use the word "poly" to mean a variety of things including: i'm cheating on my spouse, i'm in an open relationship (will have sex with you, but not a relationship), i'm single and looking to have sex with lots of people until something serious comes along, etc.

It is very important to have a conversation, when you find out someone is poly, in which you discuss what polyamory actually means to them. I've been hurt many times by failing to do this.
 
All the pins are really cute I might get some :) thank you

And I just want to meet more people for like minded friends or possible partners or just again support.

KDT - I'm on most of those sites but there are a few new ones you listed so I'll check them out, thank you.
On the sites I am on there really isn't any in my city and barely any in my state :/ I do wish I could move but was just gifted a new place so probably going to stay here longer than I would like.

There's not many groups here to participate in at all. Most people just hit up the bar scene and that gets boring and lame. My city is a major city in ND but it still needs to grow more.
 
How about starting your own group?
 
Sounds like Fargo. But I haven't been in North Dakota since primary and middle school.
I do know that Minot has pretty much tripled since then as well. If it is Minot that's pretty much hours away from another major city. Iirc 3-ish hours from Grand Forks AFB.

I'm in South Dakota, it's much worse here :p. I even checked the close by cities in two bordering states. Good luck.
 
That's the ticket. ;)
 
"Live long, and prosper ... with many friends."
 
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