ericm12121977
New member
Hello everyone,
I just wanted to talk and see if I am really as alone as I sometimes feel. I have been married to the woman of my dreams, Jess, for almost 11 years now. We literally dated for a month, and got married without knowing who we were or how we would ever learn to accept each other. I can honestly say that it hasn't been the easiest road in the world, but at the same time, I would do it over again and again.
We did the swinger thing in the past and really enjoyed it, but the only way we did it was by inviting other men into the picture to play with her. I know we are not the typical couple out there, seeking other females. To me, that always seemed kinda one-sided. That that is just my opinion. I truly do enjoy seeing her with other men.
Now to get to the current situation at hand. Jess and I are very close to each other. We love each other with our whole beings. I have never been one to be overbearing or self-centered. I have always believed that you can and will love more than just one person in your life and that, although not every relationship is meant to last forever, they are connections in your life that you value, to an extent.
Jess has been working on this for a little while now and has seen that she is capable of having an emotional connection with another man. She and I have spent about the last three months talking about her emotions and how she is learning that it is ok to love more than just one person at a time.
She has been friends with a guy for the last 2 years that she knew she had feelings for, but didn't know if she could actually have strong emotional feelings for. As time has gone by, they both have come to the realization that they both have these feelings for each other. We've all spent time talking and getting to know more about ourselves and each other for the last few months.
Jack had been living in another state due to family issues that have now resolved themselves. He is on his way back to the area in which we live. He and Jess have been spending numerous hours a night talking on the phone, web-camming and writing e-mails back and forth to each other. Nothing has been kept a secret from me. She lets me listen to the conversations they have, and she has let me read the e-mails, as well as see the web-cam shows they've put on for each other.
I do struggle with the amount of time they are devoting to each other, but at the same time, I also see the "newness" of the relationship. I remember the days when she and I first met and were courting each other and how much time we devoted to flirtation and companionship.
Does anyone else struggle with the feelings of being left out and not being needed, but knowing that those thoughts really don't hold any merit?
I know that the love we share is very strong, to the core, and I really don't ever see anything happening between us in regards to falling apart. I also know, through the many conversations that Jack and I have had, that he is ready and able to accept that she is in love with the both of us, and that if he can't handle it, then he needs to be honest and say so.
I know that you can't really tell how you're going to feel about something this important until you get into it. I fully accept that and agree that they both need their dating time. We don't know the best way of dealing with the time issue, but we do know that it doesn't mean less love if one of us don't get to spend time with her when the other is with her.
We are still new to this, as this is really the first time that bringing another person into the picture is not just about sex. This is about love and connection and trust and understanding. We all know that it won't be an easy road, but we are all willing to work on it as we go along.
I am sorry if this post makes no sense. It is mostly just about me being able to communicate with like-minded individuals that hopefully can share a little bit of their knowledge and insight about the obstacles that we will face. I have read many of the posts, but it really seems that most of the in-depth ones pertain more to having a second female in the picture, vs a second male. I hope to be able to learn and grow from all of this.
Thank you,
Eric
I just wanted to talk and see if I am really as alone as I sometimes feel. I have been married to the woman of my dreams, Jess, for almost 11 years now. We literally dated for a month, and got married without knowing who we were or how we would ever learn to accept each other. I can honestly say that it hasn't been the easiest road in the world, but at the same time, I would do it over again and again.
We did the swinger thing in the past and really enjoyed it, but the only way we did it was by inviting other men into the picture to play with her. I know we are not the typical couple out there, seeking other females. To me, that always seemed kinda one-sided. That that is just my opinion. I truly do enjoy seeing her with other men.
Now to get to the current situation at hand. Jess and I are very close to each other. We love each other with our whole beings. I have never been one to be overbearing or self-centered. I have always believed that you can and will love more than just one person in your life and that, although not every relationship is meant to last forever, they are connections in your life that you value, to an extent.
Jess has been working on this for a little while now and has seen that she is capable of having an emotional connection with another man. She and I have spent about the last three months talking about her emotions and how she is learning that it is ok to love more than just one person at a time.
She has been friends with a guy for the last 2 years that she knew she had feelings for, but didn't know if she could actually have strong emotional feelings for. As time has gone by, they both have come to the realization that they both have these feelings for each other. We've all spent time talking and getting to know more about ourselves and each other for the last few months.
Jack had been living in another state due to family issues that have now resolved themselves. He is on his way back to the area in which we live. He and Jess have been spending numerous hours a night talking on the phone, web-camming and writing e-mails back and forth to each other. Nothing has been kept a secret from me. She lets me listen to the conversations they have, and she has let me read the e-mails, as well as see the web-cam shows they've put on for each other.
I do struggle with the amount of time they are devoting to each other, but at the same time, I also see the "newness" of the relationship. I remember the days when she and I first met and were courting each other and how much time we devoted to flirtation and companionship.
Does anyone else struggle with the feelings of being left out and not being needed, but knowing that those thoughts really don't hold any merit?
I know that the love we share is very strong, to the core, and I really don't ever see anything happening between us in regards to falling apart. I also know, through the many conversations that Jack and I have had, that he is ready and able to accept that she is in love with the both of us, and that if he can't handle it, then he needs to be honest and say so.
I know that you can't really tell how you're going to feel about something this important until you get into it. I fully accept that and agree that they both need their dating time. We don't know the best way of dealing with the time issue, but we do know that it doesn't mean less love if one of us don't get to spend time with her when the other is with her.
We are still new to this, as this is really the first time that bringing another person into the picture is not just about sex. This is about love and connection and trust and understanding. We all know that it won't be an easy road, but we are all willing to work on it as we go along.
I am sorry if this post makes no sense. It is mostly just about me being able to communicate with like-minded individuals that hopefully can share a little bit of their knowledge and insight about the obstacles that we will face. I have read many of the posts, but it really seems that most of the in-depth ones pertain more to having a second female in the picture, vs a second male. I hope to be able to learn and grow from all of this.
Thank you,
Eric
