Women in relationships with two men cooler now?

[threesnocrowd]

We all know about the long standing double standard for men when it comes to "sleeping around" and being "good with the ladies". It's celebrated with high fives and respect. If a polyamorous man is in a relationship with two women it might be surprising for people in the mainstream but more or less accepted. What we're wondering is have women achieved parity in this regard? Is it now generally acceptable and even kind of cool for a woman to have two boyfriends or a husband and a lover or is it still horribly taboo? Is it different for millenials? Would love to hear your thoughts!

 

[KC43]

Not sure what you mean by "cooler"...

If you mean "more acceptable"... I don't think polyamory or even swinging is acceptable to a lot of people, because they simply don't understand how it's possible to love more than one person romantically, and/or they don't understand how you can have sex with someone other than your partner. Or they believe loving others or having sex with others is "cheating" even if there's agreement on all parts. That applies whether it's one man and more than one woman, or one woman and more than one man, or all the other possible permutations a swinging or polyamorous relationship can take.

Personally, I don't have much respect for a man who sleeps around for the sole sake of sleeping around and brags about it so he can be "high-fived"; I respect that he has the right to choose to do so, but I would find it difficult to respect *him*. Likewise, I wouldn't have as much respect for someone who considered that acceptable but considered my life unacceptable because I have *committed* relationships with two men.

Also personally... I don't think much about whether my life is acceptable to others, because it isn't *their* life. It's mine.

 

[RichardInTN]

I think it's entirely "in parity" with 1 guy, 2 gals. I think in the poly "community" either is equally acceptable.

The hitch is... those that won't accept it wouldn't accept 1 guy, 2 gals either. And (unfortunately) they are in the majority (at least insofar as those that can make/change laws is concerned).

 

[IndieSolo]

Women have been at the forefront of polyamory for decades, and a woman with more than one male lover is very common - and has been for a longtime. Mainstream society might not think it's "cool," but who cares.

 

[kdt26417]

Re (from OP):

"Is it now generally acceptable and even kind of cool for a woman to have two boyfriends or a husband and a lover or is it still horribly taboo?"

Define horribly taboo.

A woman with a husband and a (male) lover is a perfect description of my own poly unit. It's taboo enough that my companions (the woman and her husband) want us to stay in the closet about our arrangement, whereas if it was just up to me I'd shout it from the rooftops.

Within the polyamorous population, or at least the part of it that I've been acquainted with, the MFM model seems to be hip enough.

 

[Stevenjaguar]

yep

Having been in a V with a woman and her other bf I can say it works if you make it work. It lasted a long time.