Wont surrender, I kept working on how to talk to girls

Duat1945

New member
And so soon after the last message with regards to my personal difficulties with how to talk to girls, I made the choice in order to make certain adjustments to the attitude and experimenting to observe what works along with what will not.

So first of all I established what can be appealing for me to find in a female, for instance, intelligence is a big one for me personally, it doesn't mean whenever a girl's not a freaking genius i'd decline her, So I am merely wanting to concentrate my self on the sort of girl I'm trying to get, whether it is just for having a great time, or for a long term relationship.

With regard to conversation now i'm trying to start them by situation, for example the dialogue can change in a dance club as opposed of one started in say, the library, aside from that I am trying to make assertions and not relaying on questions, mean I don't want it to seem like it is a job interview or something, and in accordance with the opinions received I will push it further, adjust or come back to the subject. In addition I have became aware I am able to come and go between conversational subjects, since it's a human talk it does not, and will not be linear.

My goal currently is in my body gestures since I still have to work alot in my conversational skills, so in my case is definitely the best approach to go. I'm sure focused on things like good eye contact and to be as close to the woman as possible, likewise try to determine any sings of

discomfort, making sure that I make any kind of changes if required. Usually if the girl is smiling and doesn't refuse my touch everything's ok.

I am also presently testing my technique by utilizing exactly what I have figured out in places different than bars or clubs, I found out It's far easier for me to do, since I have the skills of my interactions on clubs, which certainly is good.
 
Hi Duat1945,

I had a look at your other thread. It's good to hear that you are gaining some confidence.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
I can see why you're having some trouble talking to women *right here* in your post, and I'm glad you're making progress, but you have quite a ways to go, and I'm concerned about some of the directions you're headed.

Calling women "females" is not a great look. It's dehumanizing. We're women. Or people. People is great. Also - people old enough to date are women.

And I, a woman, am not a thing you can get. I'm not a prize awarded for repartee. I am a person who you can spend time connecting with if we're both interested.

As a poly women, I'm in a position of considerable privilege - I'm able to have a very satisfying social and romantic life that doesn't require me to take risks on people who can't be vouched for. If I think I might be interested in someone, my first step is to quietly check in with my extended social circle. Does anyone know this guy? What's the dating experience with him like? If you want long term relationships with polyamorous women, make friends. Make friends with women. Make friends with men. Become a person who can be vouched for. Making friends and being a friend are both important skills - more important than whatever skills you learned in clubs and bars - and they'll help you eventually find a romantic partner, and be a romantic partner.
 
I agree with BlueShoes.

The term female is a HUGE turn off. We are not trophies you get or go after. For your post it sounds like you are looking for an experience not a partner.
 
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When I was first separated and suddenly single, I went looking for men, or guys, not males.

I didn't know about OK Cupid, so I went to a board game Meetup at a local Barnes and Nobles cafe. I wasn't that interested in board games. I was interesting in dating guys. I made a friend who showed me around and I played a game or two, but I only went twice. The men seemed shy and intent on the games, not on connecting with anyone.

OKCupid works better for me, but then, I am a good writer, and I looked for men who were as articulate as I am.

One man I dated told me his experience with Meetups was 10 guys to every 1 woman. We don't hear much from guys on this board. Has anyone really ever met a woman at a Meetup and established a long term relationship?
 
I've had two long-term romantic relationships in my life, and ironically, both were fomented in a church setting. :eek: Since I have cut all my ties to any churches, I probably won't meet any new prospects. :cool:
 
All my relationships have started as just hanging out as friends. Two I met in an outdoor activity group, one lived across the hall and one was my partner in silliness/adventure in a MMO. No problems talking to people when you are working on joint projects for weeks, months, years.

Leetah
 
Meetups

I met two awesome women through meetups. I have not seen the disparity between men and women but I've heard people talk about it.

Nevertheless, the key factor is that I don't go to these meetups to meet women and never "to get laid", I go there to have a good time. The best things happen when you're not looking.
 
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