You Me Her


Active member
I came across this show on my DirecTVNow app. There are two seasons. Each episode is one half hour.

Set in Portland, OR, the show is about a couple who meet and fall in love with a younger woman. Before you roll your eyes at yet another throuple story hear this out. The show is actually quite good. It does not show the triad as all unicorns and rainbows. In fact, the first two seasons cover pretty much every issue we see regularly on these boards. Jealousy, insecurity, couple's privilege, living arrangements, dealing with family and friends, communication issues, making decisions as a triad, it's all there. There is even a side story about a possible serial monogamist/NRE junkie. The writers definitely know their stuff. This should be required watching for any couple who decides to hunt for a third. It's also very entertaining for the rest of us.


Nice to hear that the writers have put some effort into exploring how real people might react in situations informed by polyamory.

Dunno that I think it's "about us" in any way. The founding premises seem somewhere between sensational & fantastical --
[their] desires to conceive have been hampered by their lack of sex drive. ...a 25-year-old college student and part-time escort. ...they decide to terminate the arrangement and bring Izzy into the marriage as a lover.
Hmm: "renew the spark in our marriage"... the "need" for a failing relationship to spawn (probably another gambit to "put back the spark")... rather than seek counseling, hire a hooker... decide it'd be cheaper to incorporate her into the dynamic... turn it into "marriage + 1" (she'll become lover rather than partner). Now I'm curious which will turn out to be the baby-mommy. ;) After all, that WAS the overweening rationale.

While maybe sympathetic, it overall sorta sounds like it's exploring open marriage or general nonmonogamy or maybe polyfidelity rather than polyamory. It's "real poly" in the same way that Will & Grace is good advice on how to be gay.

Certainly, I wouldn't encourage couples to seek a long-term (unpaid) third by combing the "escort" ads on Backpage & Craigslist. :eek:

And as it intends to fulfill the tropes of romantic comedy, there MUST be easy solutions achieved (quickly) to problems that dog many of us, & regular dollops of sappy pathos that can be resolved with a group hug.
a genre with light-hearted, humorous plotlines, centered on romantic ideals such as that true love is able to surmount most obstacles. ... A fairy-tale-style happy ending is a typical feature.

As for those topics, I'd recommend a first "must see" for "any couple who decides to hunt for a third" would be The Sex Monster --
[Marty] tries to improve his sex life with his wife ... by encouraging her to have a threesome involving another woman.
It goes a little over-the-top in places, but having seen couples blow up over these situations, I laughed all the way through it.


Active member
That synopsis is over-simplified. They are in couples therapy. The escort idea came from the guy's dudebro brother. He thought it would kickstart his libido. He doesn't go through with it. Even though it is a shady beginning the show does treat it as the wrong way to go.

They do try and keep some emotional distance, as most couples tend to do. However, feelings do happen (as we tell couples on here it will most likely occur) and they do jump into full poly, albeit much too quickly.

The show does poke fun at the usual romance tropes. There are no fairy tale endings. In fact, after two seasons they still don't quite have their shit together.

The only thing missing is some poly people pointing fingers and saying, "You're not poly because that isn't how we do it." Maybe next season if there is one.


Official Greeter
Staff member
I think I might have seen "The Sex Monster," or part of it. I'll put it, and "You Me Her," on my list of shows to see.