Hello everyone.
I am new on this board and posted an introduction a few minutes ago. I've searched through this forum and didn't come across any posts that addressed my question, though I am sure I probably missed it. It seems like it would be a common concern.
My wife and I are at the point where we have decided to change from a monogamous relationship to a polyandrous one We have been talking alot about possible pitfalls because we both are committed to preserving our relationship. Just a bit of background before I ask the question... my wife and I have a very close relationship that has been built on a foundation of trust. We do argue, as most people do, and on rare occasions when we've argued one or the other of us has left the house to "cool down". Later when we are both together again and our heads are cooler we are able to talk through our issues and resolve them. We never allow a disagreement to go unresolved.
A couple days ago my wife asked me how I would handle it if we were in an argument and she left to cool off. She expects that in the past if she had a relationship with a man that she might have possibly gone to him to seek to be comforted rather than to drive around until she has calmed down. She wanted to know how I would respond to that, especially if she ended up having sex with the other man while being comforted by him. I have to admit that that scenario places a pit in my stomach, and my gut instinct would be to feel betrayed by my wife. I don't think I'd have as much of a problem with her seeking comfort from another man, but I am afraid of what the act of having sex with him under those conditions my cause me to feel. Like she pointed out, if we argued I would have no one to turn to since I don't want to have a relationship with anyone except my wife (this is the way she prefers it too) and I really do not confide in family or friends if my wife and I hit a bump in the road.
Does anyone have any comments or suggestions on what you have done in this type of situation? What works? What doesn't? Any advice would be very much appreciated.
I am new on this board and posted an introduction a few minutes ago. I've searched through this forum and didn't come across any posts that addressed my question, though I am sure I probably missed it. It seems like it would be a common concern.
My wife and I are at the point where we have decided to change from a monogamous relationship to a polyandrous one We have been talking alot about possible pitfalls because we both are committed to preserving our relationship. Just a bit of background before I ask the question... my wife and I have a very close relationship that has been built on a foundation of trust. We do argue, as most people do, and on rare occasions when we've argued one or the other of us has left the house to "cool down". Later when we are both together again and our heads are cooler we are able to talk through our issues and resolve them. We never allow a disagreement to go unresolved.
A couple days ago my wife asked me how I would handle it if we were in an argument and she left to cool off. She expects that in the past if she had a relationship with a man that she might have possibly gone to him to seek to be comforted rather than to drive around until she has calmed down. She wanted to know how I would respond to that, especially if she ended up having sex with the other man while being comforted by him. I have to admit that that scenario places a pit in my stomach, and my gut instinct would be to feel betrayed by my wife. I don't think I'd have as much of a problem with her seeking comfort from another man, but I am afraid of what the act of having sex with him under those conditions my cause me to feel. Like she pointed out, if we argued I would have no one to turn to since I don't want to have a relationship with anyone except my wife (this is the way she prefers it too) and I really do not confide in family or friends if my wife and I hit a bump in the road.
Does anyone have any comments or suggestions on what you have done in this type of situation? What works? What doesn't? Any advice would be very much appreciated.