I said earlier I can not relate to your luxurious lifestyle, but I CAN relate to having a passive aggressive husband. I had one, for 30 years. We went to SO much therapy. It didn't do much. I finally broke up with him after decades together and 3 children (one of whom is mentally ill and needs on going care), because of his poor communication. It's a bitch. He looked a little more into his issues after we broke up, but when we talk (about the divorce settlement, about the kids) I don't see much change, and he's 59 so I don't expect much in years to come.
What are your festivities tonight that you want Si to come to? What would be the consequences if you just kept having her over? Matt is being so all or nothing. Would he threaten divorce again? Sheesh. Tread carefully.
In a non-poly topic, I've been curious, since I am a lactation counselor, you said you are still breastfeeding the baby? First of all, good for you, still going at almost 12 months. Secondly, though, how did you manage to do that with all the traveling you did since he was born? You used your "nursing card" as you said, for the lunch date with Si, but surely if you could leave Baby to go to other countries for long weekends, that card isn't all that valid?
I wish my life was luxurious. I am actually cheap as hell. You would be surprised. I love a good sale and a deal. I use Groupon like every single day. I love high street as well as lux designers. I will never pay full price for anything, though. I use MyHabit, Ventee Prive, the Outnet, etc. faithfully. We choose to enjoy the fruits of our labour now as opposed to waiting until we choose to retire. You cannot take it with you when you pass away, and as long as household and general expenses are paid, our children are taken care of, money has been put in savings or wherever (education fund, holiday fund, etc.), we can indulge a little.
The only time I travelled considerably was January-March. All the trips were pretty short and usually consisted of long weekends. I would pump up until I left and refrigerate or freeze the milk. My lactation consultant said the milk was able to be stored in refrigerator for around eight days, but I never tested that out. The longest was a few days. I have plenty of friends who are business travellers and nursing, so their tips came in handy as well.
When I was travelling, I would usually leave Thursday night and return on Sunday. There were a couple of times where I was gone the entire week. When I was gone, I just shipped my milk home. I had the pump with me and pumped about six times in a one day span. I froze the milk, used dry ice, and shipped it overnight. He is only drinking 16-19 oz per day now. He has milk with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then a little before bed time. His schedule is pretty consistent. Solid foods are becoming more and more part of his daily eating habits, so the milk is more of a supplement now. There were times he was with me, too. If it was relatively close, both of my children were with me.
I will probably go beyond 12 months. I am not sure I will go to the extreme of extended nursing to age three or four, but I do plan on exclusively pumping for an unspecified amount of time. It is TBD.
Yesterday was truly a fluke. I had not pumped any milk, and the best time for me is in the morning or when it is quiet and I can focus. I just was not still long enough. He was still drinking from the milk that I had pumped at various times during Friday, so it worked out. He went through most of it, so the nursing card was valid. I just did not have time to pump, and he was going to be looking for it at some point. He did shortly before he went to sleep on the way to Si's home.
Consequences? Who knows? If I invite her over, he will more than likely ask her to leave or put her out, and I am sure it will start an argument between them and eventually between us. The last time our children were not around for the argument, but they are here right now. I am just not sure it would be worth the hell of inviting her over.
He is all or nothing. He thinks about what he wants to say, and then, he will come to me and tell me exactly what he really thinks or feels about whatever the issue is. I am just waiting for him to come to me regarding Si being around our son last night and our daughter today. (I am sure my daughter told him about her joining us for lunch. She was excited.) He is in his office, and I am in the kitchen working on dinner. He has been in there for a couple of hours. I already know what he is going to say something because he is pissed off, which is probably why he is alone right now.
