An embarrassing insecurity (penis size)

Yes, width is more important than length, in many ways.

I have to add, though, that there is a maximum length in my world, and it's a "not optional" maximum. I've experienced that after a certain length (roughly 7 1/2 inches) it's fucking painful, to the point of causing reactions of violence from me. So I simply don't consider a guy with anything longer then that worth my time considering as a romantic relationship option, because I won't be fucking them, ever.

Okay guys, please continue with your conversation.
 
MonoVCPHG said:
I am one of those guys that thinks about the difference in penis size. But what I find interesting is that we don't see women come on here worried about the size of their vaginas. There are differences, but women aren't nearly as hung-up on it as some of us guys are, it seems.
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My vagina is really small. My Diva Cup actually sticks out by like 1/4," at least. (It always blows my mind that some women say they can have sex with theirs in!) I can reach my own cervix. It doesn't bother me in the least, except that I've never been happy with guys that have really big cocks, because they would poke too hard and really hurt. So personally, I've always preferred small-to-medium sized penises.
 
I find this interesting, because my primary recently commented (and not in a negative way) that he could go deeper with one of his secondaries. For me, that simply means we have to be more creative with positions, which is fun! :)

He is only average-sized (as he calls it) but it's his ability to connect with me on the other levels of the relationship that give us our 'physical connection.' I know it's really hard not to compare yourself to him, but if it makes you insecure on a psychological level, then you need to communicate this to her, and decide whether it's in both your interests that she is so open in her appreciation of him.

It's all a learning process, and we all have different boundaries. So don't be afraid to express what is going on in your head. This is what I love about the poly-relationship dynamic-- it makes us into more loving individuals.
 
Some women do angle their hips in such a way, or have pelvises/legs shaped a certain way, that we feel like we can go deeper with them. It may not be true, but it feels like it at the time.
 
Everyone is built differently, no two people are exactly the same (not even genetically identical twins), just like no two people's faces are exactly identical (not even genetically identical twins.

Learn it, know it, live it, and GTF over it.
 
A note on vaginas: cervices (AKA, the end of the vaginal canal) move. A lot. Some parts of my cycle, my cervix is only a couple inches in, if that. Around ovulation, I have to try really, really hard to reach it, and sometimes can't (and I have long fingers). When they get bumped they tend to retreat up, and during arousal it's the same. So the depth of a woman's vagina isn't a constant. Same goes for width. From some angles/positions there is a lot more room than others.

This means you can love a big penis (or hand or dildo) sometimes, and other times prefer something smaller, even in the realm of PIV (which is far, far, far from the be-all end-all of sex).
 
IMO, different sizes make for different pleasurable experiences. Smaller sizes can make certain oral things easier or more fun. Speaking as an orally-fixated person, being able to fit it all in my mouth is very, very nice. :D
 
Zanie said:
IMO, different sizes make for different pleasurable experiences. Smaller sizes can make certain oral things easier or more fun. Speaking as an orally-fixated person, being able to fit it all in my mouth is very, very nice.
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Yes. This. My husband and my bf are built very differently and both are extremely exciting. I know my husband has a lot of hang-ups over his size (for no reason… he's lovely), and I'm sure there's a part of him that wonders what my bf's packing, but he hasn't asked yet. The fact is, it's apples and oranges, and that's what makes it so very wonderful. The trick will be, if my husband brings it up and does ask, making the boy believe it.

Size does matter, to a degree, but not nearly as much as time, attentiveness and enthusiasm. ;)
 
I often don't have "penis in vagina" sex with most of the folks I sleep with. I find it hard to get hard with people I don't trust very well. I think this stems from a lot of fear and concern over pregnancy. Also, some fear comes from doubts and insecurities about my size. But it has also turned into a measure of how involved I'm willing to be with someone.

Because of this, though, I have more opportunity to work with the sexual tools I appreciate more anyway, like my tongue and my hands. I love going down on folks, much more than I like PiV sex, so I'm kind of ok with it all.

Also, I love bums, and being a bit smaller could possibly make that more of a possibility with lovers, too.

There are upsides and many positives. Also alternatives! Dildos are fantastic. My friends have built themselves harnesses for their dildos and they have fun fun sex. And really, no penis is bigger than your hands can be.
 
TrollE said:
Being a bit smaller could possibly make that more of a possibility with lovers, too.
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OMG. You aren't kidding! That is one act I reserve for Maca. One reason is that he knows my limits already, and learning them was painful for both of us. But the other reason is that size matters for me even more in this arena, and bigger is not acceptable.
 
Ahem, can I just say that for me it isn't always about the size, but the cum that comes out of it. That is also different with different men, provided that there is fluid bonding, that is.

Women also have different vaginal fluid. From watery, to thick and creamy, all very individual and so exciting to learn about.

For me, men can't be too wide. I have a tight hole. haha It's true, but sounds ludicrous somehow. I had a C-section, so nothing got stretched that way. I like any length for various reasons, but really it's all how the thing is used.

As for pussy, I see advantages to different shapes and sizes. It's all just fascinating to find out about and spend time with. There is nothing better than getting to know a lover and spending time with their bodies to do that. Everyone is so different and rich.

Asses are a whole other thing to enjoy, and are also widely different in their tolerance, look, the skin's texture.

Everyone is basically different from each other. Big surprise there, huh?
 
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