Friendship ended

[GalaGirl]

"why doesnt she feel she is allowed to now ask the church for some help"

or more specific

"why do the people who give, get made to feel too ashamed to later ask for help when they need it"?

Nobody makes a person feel anything. If a church worker tried to shame me or make me feel like crap, I'd report it to their boss and shop for a different church. Sheesh.

I expect personal responsibility so I would phrase it as

"Why doesn't she allow herself to ask her church for help?"
"Why does she feel too ashamed to ask her church for help when she needs it?"

It's one the things I think Church is for -- to help you get over false pride like that.

But I don't think from the sound of the posts that she is after "personal growth" so much as she is after "looking good" and "saving face." That whole false pride thing.

We could guess, but really all that stuff is her stuff. Only she knows what is really going on in her head.

Galagirl

 

[bassman]

Nobody makes a person feel anything. If a church worker tried to shame me or make me feel like crap, I'd report it to their boss and shop for a different church. Sheesh.

I expect personal responsibility so I would phrase it as

"Why doesn't she allow herself to ask her church for help?"
"Why does she feel too ashamed to ask her church for help when she needs it?"

It's one the things I think Church is for -- to help you get over false pride like that.

But I don't think from the sound of the posts that she is after "personal growth" so much as she is after "looking good" and "saving face." That whole false pride thing.

We could guess, but really all that stuff is her stuff. Only she knows what is really going on in her head.

Galagirl

I think youve summed it up.

and I am the opposite, lol, everyone knows what financial shite I am in

(but its getting better).


By the way, I dont think that showing this thread to her will change anything. My boys mum wouldnt take any logic on board when any topic round the church was discussed - when someone has church on a pedestal there is no way to get through to them ...

or as Richard Dawkins put it - "you cant argue with a mind like that" (he means you cant reason with them)

This has been a gret thread, thanks everyone...

Friends come and go, Im learning to deal with it better and see it as part of life now.