Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird said:
So thinking about it, if this is also a major way that WarMan demonstrates that he is in to me, I should probably not be so restrictive. It just isn't how I operate, so I have got to loosen up a bit, I suppose. Though, geez, DarkKnight fills the niche of taking care of me really well. I really don't need two men doing that.
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You are so funny!

These two men, despite being very similar, are two different people with different pasts and experiences, so they would "take care of you" in different ways. Obviously, he's not going to take over the things that DK does for you, and will express this Love Language in his own way - plus I am sure some of his gestures of caring will be things you never thought of!

You take care of so many people every day - your husbands, your children, your children's friends and the kids you teach, the people in the groups you run, and more - why not let yourself be taken care of in such small ways every now and then?

BTW, I can relate to this a bit. I have a hard time letting people do things for me. But once I let it happen, it feels so good, like a luxury!

Bluebird said:
Am I seriously complaining because two men want to buy me things and do things for me? Gah!
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Maybe you need to remind yourself that you are a wonderful, fun, kind, giving person, and a hot lady, that people enjoy being with and seeing happy! So there! :p
 
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nycindie said:
...Maybe you need to remind yourself that you are a wonderful, fun, kind, giving person, and a hot lady, that people enjoy being with and seeing happy! So there! :p
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I second this!!!!
 
Aw! Thank you both! Cindie, that is exactly what I needed to hear before I left and it gave me a solid boost before starting my day. Thank you so much!

Here's how my date day with WarMan went.

I wore my new dress and felt incredible in it. On the way out, PunkRock suggested I add an additional bracelet that popped with my teal blue toenails and it made me feel even more alluring, if I do say so myself. :)

DarkKnight dropped me off at 11 am in the parking lot of the fancy restaurant. WarMan showed up right on time, but the restaurant was closed. The main website said it opened at 11 for lunch, but further into the site, it said closed on Saturdays til the evening.

So we talked a bit and then headed to a brewery that he said had great food. Unfortunately, that was closed as well. We then decided to head over to an area of town that had lots of different options to choose from. While we were sitting at a light, another vehicle turned directly in front of us, and the driver made eye contact with me. I smiled but felt a bit put out because clearly the person was not having a good day. It seemed sort of weird.

The light turned green and WarMan was like, "oh shit, that was a crazy chick I dated a short while ago." He told me that he had three dates with her, but then it turned out she was sort of stalkerish and she went to his apartment on the third date, throwing herself at him, but he turned her down. She then asked him to go to her house and he declined. Apparently later that night she then called him, lamenting about how horrible things were and about how she had taken a bunch of pills and please wouldn't he come over now? He offered to call her family, or 911, but she shut him down on those ideas, and he hung up, determined to be done with that train wreck. Every now and then she texts him and he doesn't respond at all, and that's it.

So, as he is telling me this, his phone beeps and sure as shit, this chick has messaged him, something like, "Oh, it looks like you have a girlfriend now. Good for you." He is all sorts of embarrassed and apologizes. Ok.

We end up eating lunch at Panera Bread, and I let him pay. We ate outside under an umbrella. We have a TON of great conversation and I learn lots more about him. He seems so genuine and just an all around great person. He asks me an awful lot of questions about what sort of relationship I truly am looking for, about our possible upcoming move in a couple of years, and how he might fit into my life. He seems really informed and like he has done a lot of thinking and that he is truly interested in me as a person, and is taking great care to decide if this sort of relationship would work for him. He has questions about PunkRock and DarkKnight. I just am getting really good vibes from him and I feel like everything is awesome.

DarkKnight stops by briefly at one point, because I forgot my big Cards Against Humanity collection in my car. He and WarMan seem totally chill together.

We hang out some more and then return to his vehicle. We talk even more and he tells me that he really likes me and that this all sounds like something he wants to do - that he wants to give a relationship a try. I say, "Well, would you like to be my boyfriend then?" He pauses and then says, "Yeah, I would like that."

We then go over to his best friend's house and I get a tour. She is incredibly nice and fun and I like her a bunch. They have an easy rapport. I meet her husband and we all sit on the couch and talk about poly and relationships and terrible sex experiences. I think it goes ok.

We go out to dinner at a local restaurant, meeting 2 other friends. These are a couple of gay men who are part of an equal triad. The 3rd had to work. WarMan is really bummed by his friend not making it, but the dinner goes really well. I feel like I really connected with the one guy - everything he said he liked, I was like, oh my god that's my favorite, and he said that about a million times to what I was saying.

Continued in a minute...
 
WarMan buys dinner for the entire table. One of the guys asks me to come hang out every night. Lol

There is apparently a big get together this next weekend that everyone at the table is attending. WarMan asks me if I would be interested in going with him, and meeting his other friends. I say yes, but I'm unsure of my schedule. He says he'd get us a hotel room. I really like this idea. :D

After dinner, we drive back to his friend's house and play Cards Against Humanity. I think I may have won, which I am not sure is necessarily a good thing! His friends give me big hugs and I feel good.

We drive over to WarMan's apartment. He tells me that it is tiny and a man cave and he actually doesn't have much furniture, but he is in the middle of pulling everything out and getting some new stuff. Before going in, he walks me to a park nearby and we sit on a bench, looking at the stars. It was really great.

His apartment is everything he said, but meh. It reminds me of DarkKnight's apartment when I met him. It clearly belongs to a single guy. Lol It certainly isn't set up for the romancing of women!

We mess around for a bit. He keeps his shorts on the entire time - he went and got his STD testing done that morning, but of course there are no results yet. He won't let me get my hands anywhere near his dick. I am disappointed by this, but actually really impressed by how he is determined to stick with the rules I laid out to him about no penetration without the test results. We manage to have an absolutely awesome time anyway. He is VERY attentive and just amazing.

We leave around 11:30 pm, and he drives me back home. On the way to the car, he tells me that he may have done me a disservice, that he feels like he was misleading about how he reacted when I asked him to be my boyfriend. He says he was jumping up and down and just in shock in his head and he played it way too cool out loud. That he is so very excited to be with me and he can't believe it.:)

Overall, yesterday was absolutely amazeballs. WarMan shared some really super personal information with me and he has opened up so much with me. He says he feels really nervous about telling me not-so-flattering things about himself, because he wants me to view him as perfect. Pffft. I told him I am never looking for perfect. We talked a lot about love languages.

So far I have talked to PunkRock about going on this trip next weekend and he was very supportive. I am going to talk to DarkKnight today.

This morning I woke up and just felt - I don't know if I can describe it - my life is so amazing. I am so loved and supported by such wonderful men and now here I am, with the ability to add yet another source of joy to my life. I can't wait.

I wrote something in my notepad app this morning that I am going to send to him. I wil post it in a minute.
 
My Personal Philosophy on the Most Important Issue of Numerical Scores and How I Utilize Them to Assist in Heart Sharing

Ahem.

Let me break this down for you.

Numbers that matter:

* How many books you've read lately
* How many song lyrics and movie quotes you can lob at me that I recognize
* The number of questions you ask each day with real curiosity
* The amount of people who can rely on you to be a true friend, if TF>1.

Numbers that don't matter:

* Your weight
* How much money you make

Anyone that uses the second list to assign value and quantify the worth of a human being is a jerkface.

Hope this helps.
 
Housekeeping!

My daughter had her first full week of her shop class - she did great keeping up with the reading and the note taking I assigned to her, and she had her first hands-on project completed on Saturday - a picture frame. I think she is going to mail it to her birthfather.

My Biology class starts tomorrow and I have nothing printed yet. My focus today is getting all of that done! It's crunch time now. Everything is written, I just need to do a final proofread and then start printing out the materials for the course. I am getting excited to start teaching again this semester, teens other than my daughter.

PunkRock and I had a short but good conversation last night. He said he has prepared for my NRE onslaught and is planning to be ready for my love overload, the next couple of months. He told me he wants to make sure he still gets one-on-one dates and not get shoehorned into double dates or triple dates all the time. As much as I love those sorts of things, he has nothing to worry about, as I need some Awesomesauce alone time too! Last night was actually supposed to be our date night, but I had decided to try and get my schoolwork done, but between our conversation, my best friend calling me twice and texting me tons, we had to just say nope! Tomorrow PunkRock and DarkKnight and I are going together to see Straight Outta Compton.

Today PunkRock is actually off of work and he has two back-to-back dentist appointments in the morning. My daughter has a book club meeting in Martinsburg, but I am unsure if she will be able to make it. I'm going to try, but that means 3 hours (because of travel time added in) of me on hold with my own work and as I said, I have a lot to get done before tomorrow. I haven't yet read my own book club selection, so maybe I will read then. Though, there is no way I can make that meeting this week.

WarMan had me all sorts of hot and bothered before we stopped texting last night. He also said some super sweet things that made me feel very special. So far, he's doing great at the boyfriend thing! :) He did email me the hotel arrangements he made for our trip to Lancaster this weekend - he's going to pick me up after 5 pm on Friday and we will come back on Sunday. I am really looking forward to it!
 
So, here are some updates!

My first Biology class went really well. The kids are all great, and some of the parents posted positive reviews on my facebook page, saying that I am so great and their kids are very excited. So that's wonderful. I still have some follow up to do and some things to order and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed financially about having to budget for everything. Honestly I just need to schedule some time to sit and write out a spreadsheet for the next few months, and then that stress will disappear.

I am NOT going to be able to go see my new niece and my sister's new house next weekend, as planned. My budget won't stretch to accommodate that, unfortunately. I am pretty bummed, but I am going to put it in the budget for October, while my daughter is gone to Nepal. Her trip is WAY more important than mine.

WarMan got his STD test results back and we had a sleepover Tuesday night. Holy shit. Talk about amazing. He prefaced our date with a talk in his car and hit me with a lot of unexpected information, but he, I think, had built up the importance of it all in his head, when none of it was major to me. Apparently he has had certain issues with previous relationships, and he was afraid of things not working out with me in a similar fashion. I explained to him why I was different, and then promptly decided to not worry about anything. I am only mentioning it because it was weird - we had this super intense (for him) discussion in his car. What? It was strange. I mean, I was glad to have the information, and it was a good time to share it, but it was almost combative in one way, but also tremendously sad in another. He was expecting things to go bad, I think, and he was preparing himself for that. You could see some of the tension disappear when I told him to stop being silly.

Anyway, the sex was amazing. Like, wow. Definitely different than PunkRock, different from DarkKnight. Not better, not worse, just different. I can appreciate all of my guys and how they are each wonderful in their own way.

We didn't go to sleep until 6 am. Jesus, I was the walking dead the next day, but NRE and happiness sustained me. We met up with DarkKnight later that evening and sang karaoke in the living room before heading to trivia. We lost spectacularly at trivia, but it didn't matter. DarkKnight had a sleepover with me that night.

PunkRock has been working super shitty shifts and I miss being with him, a lot. I made him agree to a sleepover tonight, even though he had gifted them all up this week to DarkKnight, since he has to wake up at 3 am and that turns me into a grumpa-potamus. I need my Awesomesauce snuggle time! He is missing me too.

All 3 guys and I are going to attend a dinner theater performance next Saturday. Tomorrow night I am traveling with WarMan up to Lancaster to spend the weekend in a hotel and with his friends. I am looking forward to that with him. NRE is INSANE with me right now and I want to spend every minute with him, but I think I am doing well.

WarMan told me he loved me Tuesday night, almost apologetically, and I told him that I had suspected he was going to say something like that sooner, rather than later. I didn't really have any hesitation saying it back.
 
I am really having to work my schedule like never before. I was nervous about being able to juggle everyone's needs, especially with PunkRock's work hours being so shifty. PunkRock sat down with me Monday night briefly and told me he was prepared for the NRE crazies and not to struggle so much with worrying about him. So that was nice to know he has my back.

I am not too worried about everyone getting date nights, because I am always wanting to be with each of them, for different reasons. The excitement I feel when PunkRock opens the door, returning home, makes me squeal and want to grab him. When DarkKnight comes upstairs on break and brings me my tea - I want to wrap myself in his arms and make out for days. And of course, WarMan makes my knees quiver right now, being new and all. So I don't feel like I am going to be giving anyone scraps. I want them all to have a full and joyous relationship with me.

That said, I can see that just like when I started dating PunkRock full time, my schedule is going to be in flux for a while, as I adjust. Something is going to have to give. I am confident I have things I can cut, so I am not stressing at the moment.

I have SO much to talk about here, but - heh - I am out of time. Will write more later.

Things are progressing really well. I am very happy!
 
So many feels!

The weekend away with WarMan was wonderful. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex for 7-8 hours on Friday night. Every time we'd stop or slow down, one of us would start things up again. He was so very attentive and loving, and we just had fun. He told me multiple times that this was the best sex he had had, and certainly the most in a long, long time. I felt really SEEN.

Saturday morning we slept some and then had more sex. We eventually showered and went over to one of his friend's family events and I met more people. Everyone seemed chill. His best friend was there with her husband, and she was really nice to me. I like her more every time we hang out. Her husband actually felt sort of pervy to me - he was definitely ogling me on at least 3 occasions, and WarMan told me he had caught him staring at my ass. (Later WarMan backtracked and said he may have just imagined it.) I honestly didn't care, as, well, I was looking and feeling good. However, I was concerned about his wife's (WarMan's best friend) reaction to this, as they have been having relationship issues.

After the family shindig, we headed over to the real party and I met a couple of other people. I played a really fun board game with the best friend, WarMan and the house's host. WarMan won. I drank a lot but did not get drunk at all, though I was buzzing nicely most of the night. After the game, everyone hung out in th basement, chilling on the large sectional, standing at the bar and singing karaoke on their PS4.

At one point the best friend told me that she really appreciated that it was clear that I appreciated WarMan. That she was happy for him and that she was glad he finally had found someone that wasn't going to hurt him.

Later, WarMan left with his best friend to go upstairs. She apparently was concerned that he and I were showing too much PDA and said that everyone was feeling uncomfortable. WarMan related this to me later. She was emotional about this. He told me that he feels we were NOT and that she was just having a hard time. The next day he contacted two people at the party and they both said they saw nothing that would be excessive PDA. I am relieved by this, because, well, I was buzzing. I don't remember doing anything that I wouldn't do in front of strangers I just met, in someone else's home! Anyway, WarMan says that his best friend gets emotional and they fight whenever he gets a new girlfriend. She is in love with him and wants to be with him, but she has accepted that her husband won't allow her poly self to be expressed, so they just both accept it. So she is struggling with jealousy.

I did ask WarMan about that this conversation is probably being leaky, if he is acting as a hinge. He agreed but since I he asked, he was willing to share with me because he doesn't want our relationship strained. I actually did want to know. I honestly feel a lot of compassion for this woman - I can imagine myself in her situation and I know I would be an absolute wreck if I were in that sort of set up. I asked WarMan how he thought I could best help and he was relieved that I am being understanding. I can't imagine not being! Like I said, I really feel for her.

That said, WarMan seems to be really stressed out by her behaviors. He understands her a lot better than I do, because there is more of a decade of dealing with un-acted upon attraction in his backpack. I am very sure I could not deal with this sort of thing personally. I would have gone nuts.

Anyway, we didn't have sex Saturday night because we were both exhausted. Sunday morning we resumed activities. :) We checked out of the hotel at noon and returned to his apartment. I took a nap there, and he brought me home around 7 pm. He hung out for a little while with DarkKnight and my daughter and I and then left. Apparently while I was sleeping, he had a fight with his best friend and she stopped talking to him for the evening. Monday nights are generally their hang out nights so he was concerned now that she might still be upset. I offered him a possible bro-night with DarkKnight and he was ok with that. I talked to DarkKnight later and he was enthusiastic about it. I don't know if it'll happen though. On one hand it would be great for them to hang out but on the other, I hope he gets everything straightened out with his best friend.
 
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WarMan has assured me that everything will be ok with his best friend. I am not freaking out too much, as I have said, I have a lot of feelings for her situation. It does make me somewhat hesitant because I feel at a loss to help with it. I recognize though that this is WarMan's issue to handle, and if I look at her as a metamour, it is far outside the boundary line to get involved in any way. That said, I am willing to be open and friendly with her, and to show that I am not a threat to their relationship together. I told WarMan that it may be that she will not be able to function with a family-style poly, and so I will not press for a friendship with her, if she is not able to handle it. She seems to really want to be my friend, but it may not be something that is realistic. Right now there is a LOT going on in her life with numerous life-altering stresses, that individually would require a lot of emotional resources to handle. Having him dating might just be too much for his friend.

I am not sure what will happen with this. If given an ultimatum, WarMan said he will drop out of his friend's life, but that he doesn't feel this will happen.

Anyway...when I returned home yesterday, I want to mention PunkRock. He came up to say hi and he looked absolutely a wreck to me. We had a sleepover and we had a very intense conversation. He is burnt out from his job and feels trapped there most days, and the schedule has been destroying him. I tried to be as supportive as I could, and offered to help him find a new job. He said he thinks the worst is over now as his schedule should not be as awful going forward, but that he was going to try and have a better sleep schedule.

We also talked about our current date night/sleepover set up and how bringing WarMan into my life may necessitate changes there. He said he very much supports changing things so that each guy gets a date night and a sleepover the same night. He shared that he would rather have the entire evening off and not have to stop his activities to come to sleep with me. He wants to be able to have friends over more often too, once his schedule works itself out. I am going to talk to DarkKnight today about this. I honestly believe he will like this change.

That said, I need to then work out a schedule. I am uncertain if we should just have assigned days of the week that stand as regular nights or if we should rotate. Right now, Saturdays work for me to be with WarMan because I am already in his town all day. But, with PunkRock's schedule being so wonky and changing all the time, he and DarkKnight having set-in-stone scheduled days may not work - like if PunkRock has to suddenly work a 4 to 10 pm shift, then I would lose that time with him. Thinking it over though, I believe that all guys would be flexible with it. They know I need time! It is scary for me to change this up, actually. I feel a little panicked when I think about not having time with both DarkKnight and PunkRock each day. What if I just don't see them? It makes me feel a little ill. I have grown used to being with them for some time every day and it is hard to contemplate that changing. I think it will be ok though, because I need to trust them to continue to love me.

Oh! It was a difficult conversation with both WarMan and PunkRock separately - I had to tell both guys I continue to feel out of sorts over trust issues. I trust not being left for another woman, but I do not trust them to not leave me because of myself.

PunkRock said he is not going anywhere. He said he does feel unsettled about me dating again. Not anything to do with WarMan personally, as he seems like a nice guy, but that I seem to have a pattern of needing to keep busy and it seems to him I am filling holes in my life with lots of activities and things to focus on, to avoid dealing with my trust issues. He said he feels I was so very focused on our wedding and when the planning to that ended, I then focused intently on my daughter's trip to Nepal, and then my classes, etc. he said it feels like this new relationship is just another activity I am filling my time with. He said he also feels that I am using this to feel better about my weight gain and validate myself in spite of it.

I do not really agree with him on this. I am a busy person. I am extroverted and I need time with people and I need events to organize and partake in. I don't feel this is an escape from feelings, but just how I operate and how I am most happy. As far as my weight gain issue, I think that is far from the mark. I mean, yes, it is nice to have someone find me attractive, but I do not feel there was a lack of that, ever, from the men in my life, or even strangers. I feel unattractive and frumpy, but I don't need a new person to tell me it doesn't matter.

PunkRock is willing to spend more time with WarMan and to get to know him better. He says right now he has just been too drained to focus on anything other than eat-work-sleep-repeat but he hopes that this cycle will improve this week. We are all going to the dinner theater together on Saturday and I said I hope they can talk more then, and told him how WarMan also wants to be able to feel like they are not strangers. PunkRock says he thinks they have the same goal there but that he is actually not looking forward to the dinner theater because he doesn't want us to look like a spectacle or anything. Three guys out with the same woman? I agreed that it has potential for bullshit but I think it should be fine if we are all ok. I am not planning on lots of PDA or anything inappropriate and I think everyone will be fine if we approach it as if we are all just friends hanging out. Everyone wants it to work and everyone wants to come away more friendly and known to the others so if we keep that in mind, it should be successful. I have certainly never felt like DarkKnight or PunkRock do anything that is disrespectful to the other when in public with me.

WarMan had mentioned giving PunkRock some unused 9 mm ammo that he has, and when I mentioned this to PunkRock he was amiable to meeting up and taking my daughter shooting with WarMan sometime. He said he feels like there is a lack in his life right now with that - they haven't been shooting in a long while. He personally doesn't have a 9 mm, but my daughter does, so that would be great. I hope to be able to facilitate scheduling this sometime in September.

I felt very connected and loved by PunkRock last night, and very much understood and seen by him. That is always a wonderful feeling. We had a wonderful sex connection after our talk and he slept wrapped around me all night.

I see some more shakeout in the days ahead as we all adjust to having WarMan in my life, but am I feeling optimistic. ❤️
 
There is lots more I hoped to write about - the absolutely body-tingling messages that WarMan sent me prior to our weekend away, upcoming plans with all three of my guys, thoughts and feelings about other topics - but these last two entries have been draining for me to write, and I am overwhelmed about all of the little things I am leaving out. These entries are too long!

Dammit.
 
I enjoy reading them too. :D
 
Haha, ok.

Today I spent some time off and on texting with WarMan while I was downstairs in DarkKnight's office. I had some emails and issues to deal with, so WarMan and I sent messages in between that. I found a bunch of old articles and writing contests I had won, archived on the wayback machine online, so I shared those with him. Thank goodness he found them funny, because they were quite inappropriate!

Apparently he went out last night and upgraded his bathroom for me. He bought a new extending showerhead, two bath sheets and a floor mat, so I would be more comfortable. This man is so giving - I am not sure if so have listed everything he has done so far for me. Besides that, he bought a bunch of toiletries in case I forgot mine, cleared a drawer in his bedroom, and stocked his kitchen with both diet Dr. Pepper Cherry and diet Pepsi, as well as soy milk and the chai tea latte that I drink every day. Oh, and cheese Danishes. I am trying to think of what else, because I am sure that is barely scratching the surface. I told him none of this is necessary, but yeah, it seems like this is his love language, and he is doing everything to make sure I know that I am super important to him. Anything I even briefly mention, he remembers and files it away for later, meaning the minute he can break away to take care of it.

It is very hard for me to accept all this stuff, though he insists he is just trying to be a good host, and he just wants me happy. He did let me buy lunch for us on the drive home yesterday, and dinner for myself later. He said he is buying a table and chairs since that is the first thing I said he should get for his apartment, since we have no where to sit and eat, or play board games. He also wants to take me to this particular store and buy me outfits. We had a conversation about that! He wanted me to just take them home and wear them, and then send him a picture enjoying them. I refused that, but he seemed so out of sorts I agreed to let him buy me clothing that I could keep at his house for overnights. We haven't done that yet though.

I did have DarkKnight purchase the dinner theater tickets and pay for them prior, so WarMan could get a taste of his own medicine. It is so not cool with me that he is buying all this stuff. He says he was raised to take care of the woman he loves, but there is a level I cannot handle. So far, nothing has been outrageously expensive, but for me, as someone who freaks out over birthday gifts, it's been a little overwhelming. It is endearing and sweet that he cares so much though.

I spoke to DarkKnight and he was very quick to agree to having date night and sleepovers combined. I really am alone in wanting to keep things the same. The consensus is to switch over to this new system on Thursday.

Tonight though, was PunkRock's date night. He came home from work and was all over me pretty much from the time he walked in the door. He showered and then proceeded to screw me like he hadn't seen me in months. It was hot and sexy and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We followed it up with a quick shower where I soaped him up real good, and then we went out to dinner. After dinner we came back home and instead of moving forward with any of our other plans, we had more great sex.

Whoo hoo!

At dinner PunkRock was upbeat and asked me several questions about WarMan. He seemed much happier and interested in our burgeoning relationship. He told me that I should make sure WarMan knows he doesn't dislike him, and that he is looking forward to getting to know him better at the dinner theater this weekend. Later when talking - apparently he pre-ordered Mad Max and it is supposed to be here tomorrow, so we are all going to watch it together. I am pretty sure we've all seen it before, but I am excited to see it again, with all my guys present.

WarMan did end up going over to his best friend's house tonight and I hope he gets things resolved with her, or at least on a more positive path.
 
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Today is when my Biology classes meet, so I am up early to get things set up. I am always nervous to see how the kids do with their first set of homework questions - are they going to be good at this? My first session is from 9 am to noon, and the second is from 1 pm to 4 pm. I need to print out some lab sheets this morning, so I need to not fart around too much. I should also search for a couple of short you tube videos and a documentary on NetFlix, just in case the kids are super awesome and fly through all the material today!

Yesterday I spent some time planning a day trip to Philadelphia for PunkRock and I. My daughter's flight to Nepal leaves early in the morning on October 2, so the plan is to drive to Philly and stay in a hotel overnight on the 1st. Right now the idea is to hit the South Street area for dinner the first night, and have lunch at the Reading Terminal Market after seeing my baby off onto the plane. The only other must-do is going to be the Mutter Museum, which, strangely enough, was mentioned by PunkRock as being on his bucket list, on our first date. I am excited for him to be able to go. If we have time we will also go to the tour of the Penitentiary where Al Capone was held. It'll be a quick trip, but I am looking forward to it. He needs a break in his hellacious schedule as well. DarkKnight really wished he could go, as he is a Drexel alum and would love to visit Philly. However, he is in an upcoming production of Cabaret at the dinner theater and has rehearsal one of the evenings.

My summer trip to the beach withPunkRock has been pushed back again until October, so I am feeling bad about that. Financially though, my daughter's trip to Nepal is paramount. We will get to go this year though!

WarMan has never been to any of the museums in DC, so I think he and I are going to head over that way this month at some point for a day trip. He should at least see the Smithsonian Natural History Museum! You shouldn't live this close and then never have gone. While writing this, I remembered that I've never been to the National Zoo, so I want to plan a trip there as well!

Crap. I need to get into the shower. Enough writing for now!
 
Apparently WarMan's discussion with his best friend did not go as well as he had hoped - last night he came to watch Mad Max at my house with me, DarkKnight and PunkRock, and then stayed to talk things through with me. He seems very down and frustrated.

After about an hour's discussion, I sent him on his way and went downstairs to spend the night with PunkRock.

Honestly, I dunno. I like his best friend a lot. I think she is great. I think we could be really good friends. but this dynamic they have seems super unhealthy and it has me worried for him. I did not tell him he needed to ditch her or anything - I hope he can figure out a way to make everything work, actually.

I went over to his house today to hang out while he worked, and we didn't talk about anything yet because his job actually exploded and his phone is on fire with issues he has to pay attention to. I am working on lab sheets for my Biology class, and setting up my grade book, which I had neglected to do earlier.

I also am waiting to talk to him about our relationship. I am still questioning what this is. I went from being ok on having zero labels, wanting just a FWB set up, to asking him to be my boyfriend. He seems so incredibly into me, but I am unsure as to where he sees this going. It isn't something I need a hard direction on, but when I think about it, I really feel I need to know how to treat this. Does he want to be a primary? Is he ok with keeping the hierarchy as it currently sits? We are still planning our move - how does he see that working out? That is a lot further out, and I am obviously not looking for a commitment, but it would be nice to hear what is in his head. Last night while we were talking he said something about not looking for a primary, and then later he sent me a barebones outline of a schedule that he was thinking of sending to his best friend, so she would feel better about when he was seeing me and when he was seeing her. I was kind of ticked, because when he saw her Monday night, she told him she wanted a 100% guarantee that he would be at her house every Sunday by 2 pm. We had previously decided that Saturdays would be my sleepover night, so it works if we don't lay wrapped around each other for half the day, but it was irksome that he agreed to it without hesitation. Honestly, I need to probably leave by noon so I can make my D&D session, but it really reminded me of M and how his wife would try to control scheduling. And interfere with scheduling. And how I was told that this was just how it was going to be.

At the same time, he has been telling me he wants more than just 2 days with me, and will spend as much time with me as I will let him. BUT his best friend gets upset when she texts him at night, and finds out he has been out with me. So, the schedule. I told him he should probably just tell her to assume he's out with me, if that is less trouble.

So, I have been framing her as a metamour in my mind, and he has been telling me that she is most certainly not. But then, this sort of thing comes up, and I'm left feeling very confused. Does he consider her primary, or not? I don't think he knows.

I think once we are settled into this, hopefully things won't leak over here on my side so much. Or, maybe the best friend will be able to make it through this transition without too many more problems popping up. Right now, WarMan is kind of at a loss because he has no clue how to be a good hinge, or even if he wants to be. I brought over my More Than Two book to share with him. Maybe that will help.

We should be going out to dinner here shortly and we can discuss stuff.
 
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Bluebird said:
We should be going out to dinner here shortly and we can discuss stuff.
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I hope it goes well! It sounds like she's been very overbearing and he's kowtowed to her demands, but will benefit from hearing (and reading) your input. I like seeing how direct and honest you were with him. Since he's so crazy about you, he might be able to take in what you're saying and figure out what to do.

He certainly seems to have been disempowered a bit by his friend, and probably put up with it for so long just because he wanted someone to feel close to, but without really looking at what it was costing him. I mean, what kind of friend demands a specific time and day or else and still calls themselves a friend? Not very friendly to me!

That's too bad, I hope her shenanigans don't affect your relationship with him too much.
 
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Bluebird said:
The only other must-do is going to be the Mutter Museum, which, strangely enough, was mentioned by PunkRock as being on his bucket list, on our first date.
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I second the Mutter Museum! Interestingly I only visited there once and that was after I moved out of Philly - I remember: a tiny adult skeleton next to a giant one, the liver of the original "Siamese Twins", a jar of epileptic brains and a catalogue desk filled with objects that a particular doctor had removed from people's throats. My other two personal favorite places - Ben Franklin Museum to see the Glass Harmonica and a stroll down Elfreth's Alley.
 
Another amazing time with WarMan last night. Shit, he gets me ALL fired up. I don't think we went to sleep until around 3 or 4 am. Poor guy had to be up for work, but he woke me up at 10 am. So I did get some rest.

Last night WarMan treated me to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and we had a really, really good talk. I still have good feelings toward his best friend and I think he did a great job of assuaging my worries about their dynamic. He told me he considers me the top priority and she is just a friend. A super important friend, but that when it comes to figuring out things, his love relationship will always come first. He says she knows this, and she does the same thing with her husband.

I also got a marriage proposal, which was certainly not my intention. Lol He said he is crazy in love with me, he can't imagine how bleak his life would be without me in it, and that he will do whatever it takes to keep us together and sharing a future. Whether that is living in the house with DarkKnight and PunkRock, or taking up residence across the street - he will take whatever I will give him. He wants a permanent long term relationship, if I will allow him one.

I said, dude! 2 week relationship! Lol He is psyched and excited and his NRE couldn't get more intense, I don't think.

I am buzzing right along with him.

He said he watches me with my other guys and there is no doubt in his mind that I love them all equally. Not the same, but with passion and happiness. He said my face lights up over each of them. This is true. :) He said he feels the same sort of special when I look at him. He knows I love him. He said he doesn't know how other people do poly, but he likes mine.

So squeeeeeee!

This is so not what I signed up for, but so am so happy that I did!
 
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