I hope this is just me being paranoid.

I'm almost entirely unsure what you mean.

What do you feel you are you being paranoid about? Who wants to leave whom? Why?

Do you want advice or are you here to vent?
 
Im not here to vent I need to know is how do i spend time with someone who maybe to busy with other things.
You can:
ask them to spend more time with you;
find other things to do to keep you busy when not with them;
see other people; or
get out of the relationship if it doesn't meet your needs.
 
work with them to understand what "spending time" means to each of you. Are you happy with texting/some kind of social media contact? Do you want a phone call? What do you want to do with the time you have with them? Public dates (dinner, movies etc), private dates (hanging out at home/bedroom time)?

Busy people often like to know a concrete activity for adding something to their schedules or they will see it as time they could be doing something more productive. So rather than asking to "spend time" ask to "spend time doing x, y, z".
 
Im not here to vent I need to know is how do i spend time with someone who maybe to busy with other things.

I have these feelings all the time about my newest girlfriend. She has a super busy life and two primary partners. I would love to spend more time with her, but it's just not possible right now. I often wonder if she cares, but then we get together and it is amazing. I decided that the quality is worth the lack of quantity.
 
When someone is very busy, but stays in good contact with me and I feel an ongoing kinship, the frequency of seeing them doesn't matter at all. I see one of my lovers about one a month and it's great. If I'm getting weird feelings or feeling anxiety about someone's availability or interest level, that's my intuition saying that there's some sort of mismatch here. I would not push to spend time with someone who is giving me "too busy" signals. I want have people in my life who make time for me, no matter the infrequency. There is a HUGE difference.
 
Last edited:
Re (from Drakenbourne):
"How do I spend time with someone who may be too busy with other things?"

You can only spend as much time with them as they are willing and able to spend with you. Whatever time you do spend with them, you could make the most of it.

Do you feel that the quantity is lacking, or the quality, or both?
 
Back
Top