Hello, My husband and i have been married 11 years and are a young couple in our early 30's currently living in El Paso. We just recently decided to start the "open relationship" to eventually lead into moving a woman into our household. I am bisexual so i only am interested in women not men on my end. We only started this journey about 6 months ago and it has been pretty interesting to see what emotions are brought up!!! lol I currently have a girlfriend but she is not interested in much of the "husband" aspect. My husband has started talking to someone as well within the last month and i'm surprised at how jealous i have become over it. I am hoping this forum can help me overcome my own issues and eventually move on to our end goal to live a healthy, happy and loving life!
Hey! New to this lifestyle
- Thread starter missa009
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Greetings missa009,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
If jealousy is a problem for you, check out these links:
Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, etc.
How do you achieve compersion?
Jealousy and Insecurity
The Theory of Jealousy Management
The Practice of Jealousy Management
Jealousy and the Poly Family
Kathy Labriola: Unmasking the Green-Eyed Monster
Kathy Labriola: "First Aid" for Jealousy
Brené Brown: the Power of Vulnerability
I wish you the best on your poly journey, and hope you'll keep us posted.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
If jealousy is a problem for you, check out these links:
Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, etc.
How do you achieve compersion?
Jealousy and Insecurity
The Theory of Jealousy Management
The Practice of Jealousy Management
Jealousy and the Poly Family
Kathy Labriola: Unmasking the Green-Eyed Monster
Kathy Labriola: "First Aid" for Jealousy
Brené Brown: the Power of Vulnerability
I wish you the best on your poly journey, and hope you'll keep us posted.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
vinsanity0
Active member
I'm glad to see that you are not stuck in Unicorn Hunter mode and can pursue other options. I'm of the camp that says jealousy is a result of fear of the unknown. I think it is natural to have some jealous feelings occasionally. Kevin posted some excellent resources to work through that.
BadFairy
New member
its always been my opinion that jealousy is a natural human emotion and NO one is immune to it, but its best to be open and honest about your feelings. Jealousy is only ever a problem when its kept in the shadows and not fully explored.
We found our "unicorn" Amanda after we'd really stopped looking, so like with any other dating situation explore the field.... your ideal person will find you!
We found our "unicorn" Amanda after we'd really stopped looking, so like with any other dating situation explore the field.... your ideal person will find you!
IndieSolo
Active member
Hello and welcome!
You know, it's okay if you both get involved with someone who doesn't want to live with you, right? It's much more important that the relationships you have are mutually respectful, nurturing, fun, and satisfying than it is to try to fit them into a picture you have of the way it's "supposed to be." Know what I mean? Don't pass up someone who is wonderful for you just because they might not want to move in and play house. It's hard enough to find a platonic roommate you don't want to strangle, never mind complicating that with a lover and spouse all living with you. We've seen so many triads implode spectacularly because a couple moved someone they barely knew into their home and expected it to be the answer to all their fantasies. There are so many different ways to live polyamorously, please don't get tripped up and stuck on the idea of a triad all cohabiting under one roof.
Take things slowly - don't rush anything! Don't ask anyone to move in with you that you haven't known and been in a solid, stable relationship with for at least a year.
You know, it's okay if you both get involved with someone who doesn't want to live with you, right? It's much more important that the relationships you have are mutually respectful, nurturing, fun, and satisfying than it is to try to fit them into a picture you have of the way it's "supposed to be." Know what I mean? Don't pass up someone who is wonderful for you just because they might not want to move in and play house. It's hard enough to find a platonic roommate you don't want to strangle, never mind complicating that with a lover and spouse all living with you. We've seen so many triads implode spectacularly because a couple moved someone they barely knew into their home and expected it to be the answer to all their fantasies. There are so many different ways to live polyamorously, please don't get tripped up and stuck on the idea of a triad all cohabiting under one roof.
Take things slowly - don't rush anything! Don't ask anyone to move in with you that you haven't known and been in a solid, stable relationship with for at least a year.
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Well, if you're bi, you're interested in men too, by definition. You've agree to only pursue women? What if, since you're now open and dating, a man came along that you felt interested in?
When my ex h and I first opened our relationship, we were unicorn hunters too. He started a love/sex relationship with a new friend that we met through a hobby group. She said she was interested in both of us. Turned out she wasn't, and I became extremely jealous. We were going about things wrong. My ex kept trying to sell her to me as a sister wife, but I didn't want her to live in my house! I was barely OK with her extended visits. Even though I liked her, it felt like an invasion of my space.
I see presently you now have a gf, and your h has a potential. Sounds workable, if you can get over your jealousy. Good luck!