I get more "romance" drops than "sub" drops too - I can play at parties and "meh, fun, whatever" but if I *really* fly with AnotherArtist and then go home... (or it was worse with HipsterBoy, but that relationship was so unstable and I was sleep deprived enough to qualify as mentally ill for the whole thing). Most of the time I have enough of a "soft landing" with AA that it's not as much of a problem - I'm fully expecting con drop after the event we're going to together in a couple weeks, though.
Event drop! Yes. That is a thing, too. My GWAR people talk about it, when either the GWARBQ weekend (which is completely insane for usually 3-5 days you don't sleep and you party your butt off in the sticky Virginia summer heat, and many like me have flights across the country at beginning and end)... Or even the concerts on the tour. We anticipate it so much and then it's so amazing and intense and then afterwards we know there's a long wait before news of the next thing we get to do... Many of us get a bit depressive after our fun ends. On top of that, often enough we socialize so closely with the guys, who have been hugging and shaking hands with fans all over the country, and we are smooshed up with all the people in the pit, so germs germs germs...it's typical that a vicious cycle of illness will take over the tour bus, and that us fans will get some kind of cold or flu ("the GWAR funk") after shows. Often enough we know who is sick when they're coming into town, and some of us have brought cold meds or chicken soup and tried to give a little TLC to our ailing friends in the band.
I've started chowing down on Airborne chewies for a good week before I do anything with GWAR, and it does seem to help. I don't get sick nearly as often as I used to after their shows.
I totally understand that. Your totally in love... and then totally exhausted. Sadly I don't know any other method to ease this off a little then deliberatelly comming down from the skies to earth earlier. Like, don't ride the high, get enough sleep instead.
Zen sounds like a great person though, from the few descriptions I've read. Is he feeling in love too?
Zen is an amazing person. But I feel like it's almost been this secret that most people aren't in on, like even he has been on a journey of discovery in recent years of his life. It's one of those situations where I imagine there are people who don't know what I see in him. He is not remarkable on the surface, and he's not bursting with confidence, although he's not radiating insecurity or desperation either. He's just sort of been...there. But Zen is like a deep pool, and there's all kinds of interesting stuff in the depths if you take the initiative to explore him. So being the one to do that, has made me feel SERIOUSLY privileged and special.
I feel like...if there were an unremarkable container on the sidewalk and hundreds of people walked right by, and I looked inside and found a million dollars. He's like a secret treasure...but the secret is getting out. Because I can't shut up about him! Well, I could. If he wanted me to. He hasn't expressed that he does, though.
He was the first one to break out the "three little words." I'd had those conversations with him that I have expounded upon here and elsewhere as I tried to figure myself out in context of prior involvements...the whole, "I love easily and it isn't a trap" thing. He knew where I stood on it. And he said it first. He frequently expresses how grateful and appreciative he is to have me in his life. He is excited to introduce me to his friends and he talks about me to his family. So, in short, insofar as I can know what another person is feeling, I believe that he is feeling in love as well.
We have our lunch today.
EDIT: Clarification. He isn't an aloof or guarded person. I don't think he's a hardcore introvert. He isn't a big secret to the world because he's keeping everyone out. He almost lives in fear of giving offense though, so he's very cautious about how he interacts with other people. He is patient and sweet and non-confrontational. Yet a complete perv and a fantastic sadist. But I think if I had not come straight out and said to him, the very clear words, "You have my consent"...he could have and might have waited for a very long time for me to do so, he would probably not have made a definitive move on me out of fear that I'd be offended and lash out at him or something. He almost seems like he's been traumatized into an endless sort of patience and fear of taking social risks, and he's also scared of change. For him to make a significant change in his life means to watch hundreds of hours of TED talks and seminars, pay a consultant, buy half a library's worth of self-help books, and then finally step forward and TRY. Now the reason this is kind of awesome, is that he has learned and learned, from patient research and paying careful attention, all about women, about topping for the kinds of play he wanted to do, about sex...long before he had a chance to put all of this into practice with me. If you ever write about your preferences and pet peeves as a woman dealing with men, somewhere on the internet, and you wonder if any man will read it and GET it.....he will. He's really taken this stuff to heart. Which is why he's such a great lover.
