I do realise this is a poly forum and our situation is not.
Oh, sorry; FWIW, that's not how I intended it.
Sure, while the
central intent of the forums is polyamory, not everyone here is "all poly, all the time." It's one of the few sites where "crowdsourcing" seems to work (often, if not always). There's a
huge range of experience & observation that can be tapped for advice about just about any relational form imaginable.
You're still making your way through the concepts, clearly; that adventure alone is going to take time, patience, & experience, likely with a LOT of talking with your husband, one-on-one. On my reading, this comment stood out:
I'm not interested in having sex with someone if there's not an attraction. Therefore if im attracted to someone enough to sleep with them then there's an emotional connection.
There's a false dichotomy ("either/or") there, on what I feel is more of a continuous spectrum.
I've had a few "one-night stands" in my time, but not because I went seeking to get laid: it was the right person, we both felt a "click" between us, & we had the opportunity. While happy all 'round, generally neither of us saw it as somehow the beginning of an ongoing intimate relationship, rather a mutual statement
of the moment. There was certainly "an attraction," but maybe the word/concept means something different for you. As well, there was also arguably "an emotional connection."
And how would
nonsexual but deep (or strong) attraction/connection relationships fit into the picture?
Still plenty to ponder.
