Next chapter

I took my son home on Monday and also had a filling replaced at my dentist up in that area. Keeping my mouth wide open for an hour was challenging because I had had a headache for a couple days.

I haven't talked much about my gym activities lately. I joined a local gym (it's so close by, less than 5 minutes by car) in June, and I LOVE my swimming classes. The pool was closed for a couple weeks for cleaning in late summer and I slacked off on exercise a bit, but oh well. I'm back into it now.

Since it reopened, they've changed the schedule. I used to have water exercise classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and then have the option of going to the pool on my own on Saturday or Sunday. Now the evening exercise classes I need are on Monday and Friday, and I've figured out the pool isn't that busy on Wednesday nights. So I go there and do my own lap swim/exercise/stretch routine. I wish I had it in me to work out 4 or 5 times a week, but with my spine issues, it would be bad for me, I'm sure.

On Fridays, however, there is a different teacher each week, with a different sort of exercise each time. The 4th Friday (which was last week) was Aqua Zumba. That's been offered at the gym all along, but I've been avoiding it so far, thinking it might be too much for me with my chronic messed up neck/nerve pain. But I gave it a shot. And we did so much fast working out, and so much arm work, it indeed did mess up my neck, causing the usual intense zinging pain in my neck, migraines, etc. Dammit. It was a super fun class. If I do do it again this month I will have to work hard to remember to take it easier. The teacher duo was so cute and motivating though!

So I had a headache all weekend and into this week. I skipped class on Monday. I was home from the dentist too late anyway, since Monday's class is at 5. I also rested Tuesday. But I got my swim/workout (on my own) in last night. Still have some zinging neck pain, from last Friday, but it's getting less. I kept overdoing it on my arm work last night, and making myself reduce the effort! The exercise is so fun, and the endorphins kick in and make me feel fine when I'm actually in the water, so it's hard to remember to protect my neck.

But all in all, working out has been great for me, even if I am still in as much pain. My goal was to strengthen my core and my legs, and that is definitely happening, now that's it's been 3 months straight of working out 3x a week. Of course I am getting more toned all over. Last night when I got in bed and relaxed, I could FEEL my muscles are now tighter. I could feel them wrapped more firmly around my skeleton. Kinda weird! lol

Pixi is so nice and tells me how much fitter I look, and standing straighter, and seeming more energetic. So, despite still being in seemingly just as much pain as ever, there have been some benefits.

In poly news, BigGuy messaged me again yesterday, just asking about how all the rain (Tropical Storm Florence hit us, plus it's just been a super wet summer) has been affecting me. And we talked about dead trees in our yards threatening to crash down, and how the storm trashed my flowerbeds, and whatnot. Pleasant little friendly convo. Still no mention of getting together. So, fine by me if he wants to text and chat once in a while.

But I did find a guy on OKCupid 2 days ago, who is a high match, 98%. He is 42, a year older than Pixi. When I found him on DoubleTake, and "liked" him, I saw he'd already "liked" me. And I enjoyed his profile a lot, so i quick messaged him, saying I loved his list of favorite bands. Just to break the ice. He wrote back pretty quick, and I responded, and he responded, and I wrote back again this morning. He's very smart, and single, formerly married, no kids, and open to open relationships. Seems quite the sapiosexual, curious and pleasant and witty. He lives north of here, in a city I lived in right after my divorce, near my marital home, and my son and my dentist. About a 20 mile, 40 minute drive. We have a lot in common. So here we go again.


Another newbie to poly has also been messaging me for a week or so. He's right in the next town. He's 37, married, with a 2 year old. I don't like to date people new to poly, and he's probably too busy for me, what with a baby in the house. I am not attracted to him, but not repelled. I just felt a little compassionate towards him, since he's new to poly. It was his idea to open the relationship. His wife was a bit resistant at first, but she's now been on a couple dates. He, however, has not been on a date yet! So I thought I'd meet him just to talk about poly, and to let him be able to say he's had one date. lol

He works from home (unless he's traveling) so we are meeting for lunch next Tuesday. He's not the best conversationalist, it's no wonder he hasn't had a date yet. Maybe he'll be more interesting in person. It doesn't matter though, I just kind of want to advise him.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that last weekend when my son was here, we did indeed get Pixi's bf to help us get his used couch into our house. He and my son did all the lifting. We rented a pickup truck from U-Haul. It all went very smoothly. Bringing his couch here, getting out old one into the truck, getting his couch inside, taking the old couch to the dump.

It was nice to see Pixi's bf again, and to have him interacting with my son. And it's a relief to have a non-broken, attractive couch. It's a deep red with just a hint of rust. I like earth tones, and we have a couple "oriental" type rugs in the living room with some deep red in them, so it goes quite nicely. The previous couch was a boring tan color, so it's nice to have a couch making more of a statement. This color is especially nice now, since I have my fall toned Pyrex displayed right now. And the winter holidays reds will go nicely too. Maybe in spring and summer I will throw a fun vintage flower power sheet in blues, greens, yellows or pinks, over it for a change.
 
Well my neck had been feeling better, but on Friday evening my lower back got a sharp pain on the right side. It got so bad that evening and into Saturday, it felt like I'd herniated a disc again. I still blame that Zumba class!

Pixi went to her bf's on Friday... he also has been struggling with a very painful back! Poor Pixi, nursing both of us. She said his back looks like an S, all twisted. Poor guy. And he's so young, only 37. I guess he's been to the New England Spine Center at some point, and they told him that his spine was ok, but I dunno, it sure doesn't sound like it! So he spent all weekend in bed or on the couch. She came home Sunday evening, and also went back last night for a few hours to get him some groceries and cook. He is taking today off work too! There has been talk of a chiropractor... he said one comes into his work. If he can get to work!

So, that situation is ongoing. She said I must have a higher pain threshold than him, haha.

Meanwhile, amazingly, my back improved some by Sunday. So maybe I didn't herniate, or if I did, it's just a minor eruption. I was able to do some things around the house over the weekend. And I actually went to the pool last night at 5 for a class. I told my instructor about my issue and she kept checking in to make sure I was taking it easy enough. (The Monday teacher is my favorite, she is SO nice.) Of course, my usual endorphins kicked in, making me feel good, while in the water. And the hot tub and shower were good for me too. Not feeling great this morning, but I think I'm still improving.

Today I have a lunch date with that "new to open relationships" guy. I don't know how it's gonna go. He hadn't texted me since last Wednesday when we made our date. What the heck, does he think it's like making a dentist appointment? We had set day and place but not time. So I texted him yesterday, and he responded and we set a time. Today at 1.

As far as I'm concerned I'm just going out of mild curiosity. The guy really doesn't seem to know what he's doing. Also, he's Indian (has lived in the US 10 years). I could be wrong, but I suspect he had an arranged marriage, had the baby, and now maybe he and his wife are bored and he'd decided to get a "fancy lady" or "mistress" or whatever. I want to set him straight that that kind of thing doesn't fly with polyamorous people.

I've had several dates with Asians and while they are SO attractive, their cultural norms around dating are also so different from mine, even if they are second generation. And he's first generation. Oh well, we are getting Chinese food, so I am looking forward to a nice meal at least.

In better news, I've still been conversing with the sapiosexual interesting guy from my old city. I'm going to call him Harry. He wrote me a PM on OKC last night that was his longest yet. He is really seeming to have a lot in common with me. He did some cool things over the weekend he told me about, community theater stuff, he was stage crew. He's also aware of my recent back issues and asked how I was doing. I hope, if and hopefully, when we meet, he is as nice in person as he is in online chatting. Fingers crossed.

Before my back crapped out last Friday, I went to another taping of K's show. She actually did 2 shows back to back! She was on our State Senator's TV show, and then he was a guest on her show. Both shows addressing the ballot question #3 that she's been an activist to defeat. Vote Yes on 3 to keep the law protecting transgender people's public rights. We have a 2 year old law which was passed by a super majority in our state senate, and signed by our Republican governor in 2016. Now a right wing group is trying to get people to overturn the law. K is frantic to keep her rights, being as she lived a nightmare in Tennessee as a transgender woman for 50 years. She had felt safe having moved to our progressive state of Massachusetts, and now this has happened. Our senator is a super nice progressive guy and they did a couple great shows. I hope this issue is resolved the way we want. We are basically the most progressive state in the country but there are still right wingers who want transpeople back in the shadows again. Motherfuckers! They probably hate that we were the first state to approve same sex marriage (without taking that right away, as in California), so they are attacking the next minority!

K is interviewing a police person on Friday. I guess she wants to ask, if this law is overturned, how on earth can it be enforced? She has been refused service in a restaurant in Tennessee, and asked to leave a bar for using a women's rest room. Would that now be legal here? If she had that start to happen here, what would law enforcement do? I am going to go to that show, and I am asking Pixi to come too. She hasn't been to a taping yet, and it's so interesting. Plus the drive from here to the studio happens to go through some really pretty old wealthy New Englandy woodsy neighborhoods, and with the fall colors starting, it's just lovely.

Yesterday, BigGuy finally asked me if I want to get together again. He's been mentioning certain kink/playtime activities. I agreed to get together but said since it's been so long since we've gotten together (we took about a 6 week break after his wedding), I don't feel ready to just jump into playtime! I need to reconnect. He said fine, and suggested walking around Savers (the thrift store... he's interested in my Pyrex hobby). I said, sure, and lunch too. He said OK.

He said, not this coming weekend but the one after, he will be kid free and can get together. So I've got 10 days to wait, which is fine. If he really carves out a good chunk of time for me, we'll have time to get on the same page, BDSM wise, by negotiating. At least we'll have time to talk, even if we end up determining we are NOT on the same page.

I still have reservations about his need to be submissive, which meant (at least on our first attempt) lie back and just let me do stuff to him. Also we had the premature ejaculation issue and the anatomical mismatch... sigh. I'm still thinking he might be more friend than lover material.
 
So I still have the 3 suitors. And dates planned with all 3.

BigGuy. Our 3rd date is this coming Sunday (today is Wednesday) We are going to have burgers for lunch at a local pub here in my town. I always go to one pub (for burgers or fish and chips type stuff), so this time we are trying another one I've never been to. He has been texting me a lot, and we keep talking about Pyrex hunting/antiquing, he's so excited to learn. He likes to cook, so I guess he really likes learning about this bakeware! So after lunch, shopping at Savers. I have no idea if I'll have him back to my place afterward, and if I do, what if anything will happen sexually. Maybe I'll just make out and keep clothes on. Maybe talk more about kinks. We will see how it goes. I don't want to shame him for the awkward sex we had on the first sex date! It's a weird situation. I like the guy, and the sex could improve... what to do?

Harry! I had my first date with him last night (Tuesday night). I am really excited about him. I have delicious NRE. He has been texting me every day ever since he first messaged me on okc. I really really like a guy who will pleasantly chit chat on text. It gave me a head start on getting to know him before our first date. He took me to that same Asian restaurant I went to the previous week, we got sushi, a mai tai each, and split some sake. He paid. :eek:

He is so intelligent, and such a good listener and a good storyteller too. He's well read and well traveled, philosophical. I had waited to really delve into poly ethics until we were face to face. I didn't want to go into it too deeply in text before we met. So I feel reassured. He was married 15 years. (He's 42 now.) He has a good job. He does volunteer work too (with children), and his mother is in her mid 70s and needs some care from him and his brother, though she is living independently. All this speaks to maturity and kindness.

He had some experience with dating polyamorously before his marriage and knew some of the terms and practices.

He's no Adonis looks-wise, but he's cute. And I am sapiosexual, I'm attracted to his spirit, voice, how he was dressed, where he's traveled, his plans for the future, and things like that. And he does have an interest in kink. He got all blushy a couple times when we talked about sex and kink hehe

He and his wife are separated but still in their shared home for now. Divorce is in progress, then the house sale. They don't see much of each other because of their schedules. They have grown apart. That's all I know for now. They've been living as roommates for a few years already, it seems. They ran their course. No kids, so that makes things worlds easier.

Talking to him is just so easy, speaking of easy. Once in while you meet someone where it all just flows so naturally. He felt it too. He said he wants to see me again. He has a busy schedule the rest of the month but this morning texted me to set a definite date for Nov 7. And he said, that seems so far away! If he has another window before then he will let me know. November though, will be way more open for him. :)

We had a great kiss out in the dark parking lot. And snuggly hugs. He told me I was a good kisser. lol He was too. So this is pretty good. He texted me when he got home to thank me for the date. I love when a guy does that!

The 3rd suitor, let's call him Ravi. He and I had a rather formal first date, which I was preparing for in my last post. He's nice enough. I didn't get a sexy vibe. He was very respectful. He's so new to poly. I just kept things light. We talked about our lives some, and talked about poly ethics a lot.

He does like old movies and some vintage stuff, which I find odd because he doesn't seem artsy at all, to look at him. I bet he was very nervous about the date. He is in finance, I think. His parents live in India still, but are here for a long stay, with him, and with his sister, who lives in the area too. They'll be here til December, he told me, so he seemed to think he couldn't host me NOW, but maybe will be able to after they leave? I guess his wife is cool with that? Interesting.

Oh I also teased him about making a date with me, and then not texting me again, as if I were a dentist appointment. He apologized and said he's been having so many social engagements with friends and family. He promised to do better.

Out in the parking lot, it was daylight. And I wasn't feeling a big attraction. We hadn't flirted. So I gave him a hug. I could tell he was hoping for a kiss... and I kinda felt him think about making that happen, but I pulled away.

He seems quite trustworthy and open minded. He texted me the next day to tell me his wife was perfectly fine with our date. Since it was his first extra marital date, I was wondering if she'd really be ok. He also asked me out again, so he's getting this coming Tuesday midday again. I said, lunch? A walk? He said he doesn't care, as long as he gets to be with me.

To be honest, I'd be fine if he and BigGuy faded away, and I could just focus on Harry. But I don't know how to make that happen just yet, so I'll enjoy "friendship" with the other 2 guys until i see how things go. Maybe Ravi will be a horse dicked wild man in bed. Who knows.

I'm terrible lol
 
It's fun to have all the irons in the fire, isn't it? Harry sounds pretty awesome!
 
Vicki82 said:
It's fun to have all the irons in the fire, isn't it? Harry sounds pretty awesome!
Click to expand...

Yeah kinda, but it's a bit overwhelming and confusing. I was thinking Ravi was next Tuesday but he was today! Good thing he texted me yesterday to finalize plans, and I hadn't made any others. Oy.

Also I texted with BigGuy an hour or so this morning about kinks and feelings and stuff. Proper sub and Dom behaviors and protocols and ideas. It felt friendly and creative.

AND Harry texted me this evening asked what I'd been up to and I told him about my other suitors. He said he has nothing but compersion. He asked about them. I mentioned their ethnicities (among other things) and he said, an Indian, a Fijian and an Irishman walk into Mags' life.... it sounds like a joke. :p

Ravi's wife sent me a gift through him. An Indian company herbal balm for my back. That was pretty sweet of her.

more later
 
So I met Ravi at a local park and we walked some, then sat down at a picnic table and talked. We did that for about 2 hours total, then he told me he had another hour, did I want to go get coffee? So, we went to my local Starbucks, where I'd never been. Yes, I've lived here 5 years and never went. I don't get coffee/pastries out much, and when I do, I get Dunkin Donuts like a normal Massachusan. But this seemed a bit more appropriate/romantic/sophisticated for a real date.

Oddly, a young local friend of mine works there, and he was behind the counter and made our chai lattes ("Tall" size :rolleyes: Ravi paid). He got off shift just then and came and sat and talked a few minutes, and then his ex partner, now friend, who I am even closer with (young person from Pixi's camp who is an amazing painter) came in. So they also chatted a bit, I got hugs from both, they left. So Ravi got to meet 2 of my friends before he'd even been to my house. haha

We talked of many things on our date... I'm still not getting a romantic, flirty or sexual vibe from him! He said he was friends with his wife for a long time before they fell in love. Maybe this is how he goes about things? He was again being very specific about poly practices, and told me he'd read around at morethantwo.com with his wife. (A lot of "we did this, we thought that" stuff...)

Anyway, he said in the new year he'd be available once a week, on a weekday during the day. No time on the weekends, because of friends, family, and home maintenance.

We had some good general talks about politics and religion. He's intelligent, enthusiastic, but not funny. I don't think I've laughed more than a couple times on our 2 dates. He's probably not right for me. He's just too formal. My 2 friends he met, both have unique clothes and all kinds of piercings, I've got a trendy assymetrical haircut and dress kind of artistically, and he's just Mr Short Hair, preppy clothes. He said he used to go clubbing and dancing when he was younger. Which I guess shows more of his wild side. However, I've never been one to go to "clubs."

Is it weird or nice his wife made him bring me a jar of Indian balm for my back? I guess she's showing support. I've never had a gift from a meta before.

When we parted he said he wants to see me again. We'll see. We hugged, I gave him a friend type cheek peck. He didn't try to kiss me. So, it was all... pleasant? It was a gorgeous day so I was glad to be out in the sun and in the trees and whatnot.

Next topic. The chats I had with BigGuy about BDSM were encouraging. I think he's afraid of "hurting" people, despite liking pain himself. I told him I don't want a sub whose idea of subbing is just to lie there passive.

Ugh. Like a dead fish? Like a sex doll? Just lie there and be done to? Where's the fun in that?

I said, us subs are a dime a dozen. Everyone loves sub space. I love sub space. Apparently he does too. And ime, so many "Doms" I've played with have had serious psychological issues that lead them to need to be in control, and aren't always really kind respectful people. So it can actually be rather dangerous to get sexy or kinky with them.

He said, his Domme is teaching him to find his inner Top. (This gf/Domme of his, he met her a couple months before contacting me.) He also said he'd been suggesting his wife try bondage with him, her topping him. He also suggested a roleplay scenario we could do that could help bring out his inner Top. Then he said, he was just brainstorming, we didnt have to do it. But at least he shared a fantasy with me. That was fine.

So tomorrow, burgers and shopping. And we'll talk more and see if there is any hope for sexual chemistry or merging of interests.

Why am I beset with these 2 newbies? I am trying to be nice. Respectful. I hope I'm not just wasting my time.
 
I checked OK Cupid yesterday. Like last time I was there, it seems to think I am looking for "men looking for men," ie: gay or bi men, looking for men! WTH OKC! I'd tried to reset it and nothing changed.

But I'd gotten messages from 2 guys. Guys I must have "liked" recently before OKC decided I was a gay male.

One of the new guys seems very cool and interesting. 98% match. He'd written me last Tuesday, saying he'd been hovering around my profile for a while and decided it was about time to reach out and say hello.

I wrote back today and he then wrote back to me, telling me he's on a long weekend in Bermuda and wouldn't be on much for a few days, but he's interested in my art and my vinyl collection, how my life is, etc. He thinks we seem a good match. So, he broke the ice. In his first well crafted contact he said he's interested in art, nature, he's poly, has a nesting partner, he's sapiosexual, he's interested in politics, word play, 420 and all that Mags type stuff. He was well written and seemed self confident. One of his pix shows him playing a ukelele.

He's 58! OMG. But maybe that will be OK. I checked his Q&As and he seems to have a functional penis haha

I'll give him a whirl. Despite my already having 3 suitors... 2 of them are married with kids and newbies to kink and poly. And Harry is 20 miles away and seems kinda busy. I have good hopes but have only had one date with him so let's see what else is out there.

However, The other guy that wrote me seems as awkward as fuck!

He is only 87% match, has only answered 5 pages of questions. He wrote to me saying, would you date a younger man? Someone like me?

(He's 49. It's not like we are at THAT much of a different stage in life. He's middle aged. Sheesh.)

First, to show I'd read his profile, I said, I hope you're recovering from your injuries (since he'd mentioned a bad car accident, after having a been a triathlete). I also said, it says 2 places on my profile I'd date a guy from mid 30s to 70, I guess you didn't read my profile. He wrote back saying, he did, "but I wanted to ask again. Would you go on a date with me?"

I said, I'd prefer to chat first and see if we're compatible. I think that's what most people do. He said, "lovely, what is your preferred method to chat?" I said, here. I don't have kik and I don't have an alternative number for texting.

He said,

"Oh well, I don't know what that is. If that is your preference, so be it. Here... here's a song to break the ice."

And he links me to a Stones song on youtube. Can't You Hear Me Knocking.

So I told him, I'd just finished reading Keith Richards' autobiography. And I told him a thing or two I learned about Keith. He wrote back, "you want another one"

I said, another Stones song? No thanks, I've got Tidal and lots of records. Why don't you answer my questions, ie: have a conversation?

He goes, "because i could look it up. And I can guess. I just feel like listening to music. And no... I meant another song. Not a stones song. I wouldn't have sent another Stones song."

YIKES. I fear the accident damaged his brain. I'm done with that one!
 
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It's almost time to get ready for my date with BigGuy, but I just wanted to say that I finally found the magic button to click on OK Cupid to indicate I'm looking for men interested in women. Whew!
 
Some people just don't seem to get how to do written conversation. I just don't get it. They (usually) seem to be okay in person, but then they're suddenly hopeless inept when it comes to having any kind of a discussion with written words. The juxtaposition just confuses the hell out of me. Who has time to meet everyone just to see if they're okay in person, especially if you enjoy texting or whatnot in between face to face dates anyway?
 
Vicki82 said:
Some people just don't seem to get how to do written conversation. I just don't get it. They (usually) seem to be okay in person, but then they're suddenly hopeless inept when it comes to having any kind of a discussion with written words. The juxtaposition just confuses the hell out of me. Who has time to meet everyone just to see if they're okay in person, especially if you enjoy texting or whatnot in between face to face dates anyway?
Click to expand...

I agree. In this day and age, if you want to be successful in dating, but your time for actual dates is limited, giving good text is a must!

Well, gang, I am SO glad I gave BigGuy another chance. Wow, we had such a great third date on Sunday. I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks at least... he was cuter than I remembered! Looks and his personality. Mmm.

We did lunch, our communication was great. We talked of many things, but the majority of it was around our relationship, our prior and present relationships with others, and how to do kink together in a mutually satisfactory way.

He's been looking into learning how to Top with his other gf, since he told her I was wanting to be more sub. She's his Domme or Top, and she is sub to her gf. She was happy he was going to try Topping me. That's teamwork, huh?

So we talked about impact play, bondage, and role playing, etc., and the Fetish Flea Market that's held in RI every year. He'd never heard of it, but was very interested in my descriptions of the vendors' wares, and the workshops to view and learn different kink activities.

After lunch we went to Savers as planned, and we were there like an hour and a half. He was adorable. He was a really fun thrifting partner. He drank up my Pyrex lessons, he looked at other dishes, he said he wants better cereal bowls. He texted his wife to confer on dishes. He bought a presents for his kids, a mug, a shirt, a small Spiderman rolly suitcase (had original tags on still), a plastic Tonka truck, and a card game called Frog Juice, at my recommendation. It's a game my kids and Pixi and I have played and loved for years. He also found himself a nice tennis racquet he was really excited about.

I found a couple mid century plates in a pattern I've been hunting for years. And a cotton knit nightshirt for Pixi, red and white striped, Old Navy, like new.

He came back to my house and I taught him how to play Frog Juice, since he said he wanted to play it with his kids soon. Well, by the third hand we were playing best of 3, and the winner got to choose what to do in the bedroom...! hahaha!

It was a close game. He won, but we ended up doing things that were for me! I mean, I made him feel good, but I was the one to get the spanking and floggings. He did a great job. 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. We didn't actually do PIV, so the anatomical issues didn't matter. Although I bet we will work that out too.

I think the impact play was good for my back. I've been exercising 3x a week for 4 months now, and it's really paying off, but it seems the impact endorphins relaxed me a lot. lol

Ahh. This was the best boy sex I've had in ages. And I like him as a person, he's so fresh and open and playful and enthusiastic, like a happy puppy.

2nd dose of NRE in one week. I've got the lalas!

I think I'm going to be able to see him again pretty soon.:)
 
Harry and I chat every day, and it's nice. We even sent each other pix of ourselves and friends and relatives yesterday.

I found out a couple days ago he has another woman he's been dating since the summer. I've been telling him how I'm dating, but it was the first I'd heard of her. The only problem with that is, he said he's been seeing her 2 or 3 times a month. But he can't do a 2nd date with me until Nov 7, which will have been 3 weeks since our first date. So we talked about scheduling. He said he could "cut other things" rather than cut her time, to see me. But now, his November is filling up with job stuff, and becoming busier than he expected. Argh.

Now that I know she's in the picture, and he's so busy with his job (he has been in another state now since Sunday) and the volunteer work he's done for ages, plus I'm sure he's got divorce type things to do, and eventually househunting and moving... this is going to take some patience to work out.

I'm kind of a hedonist, and with my high sex drive, I prefer a guy I can see once a week at minimum. My last 3 long term bfs lived so close I saw them 2 or 3 times a WEEK.

Well, it's early days yet. He has said he finds me "fascinating," and that I have a "great story," and he's really enjoying getting to know me. And he's sexually attracted to me, obviously.

Now I've got this 3rd poly guy from OKC messaging me. I'll call him Bermuda just because he just got back from a vacation there. He's got a gf of 4 years that he met on OKC. When he got back from vacation he wrote me a long PM. He seems quite nice. He doesn't live wicked close either, 20 miles, more in the Boston area.

I haven't heard from Ravi since our last date, 6 days ago. Maybe he's not really feeling it either, like me. Maybe he's pursuing others. Which would be good.

So, if these 3 prospects can only see me once, maybe twice a month? That adds up to one boyfriend lol. Now if I can just keep everyone's stories straight...
 
I went to OKC to write back to Bermuda and when I finished, I was checking Double Take, where new messages come in now.

A guy, 38, 63% match, goes:

"hey there how are you do you want to talk"

Really, Sir? You're 38 and don't know how to punctuate sentences? Good grief.
 
And another winner! Age 46.

"Hi sexy I think you're hot, and you have really nice tits"
 
I haven't had a date with a man lately. My own fault, because I came down with an intense cold a week ago. So I got sick on the Monday. I was supposed to meet Bermuda for our first date on that Thursday, but I had to cancel.

I finally heard from Ravi too, I think on last Tuesday. He'd had the "flu" for a week but was feeling better. He recommended fresh ginger tea with lemon and molasses. He's a kind man. So it does seem he wants to keep seeing me. He probably would've asked me out if I'd been well. I don't feel attracted to him but Pixi says I should keep the friendship at least. He is nice...

And I didn't make ginger tea, but Pixi and I made a home made chicken soup last Wednesday, with fresh grated ginger in it, barley, alphabet noodles, carrots, turmeric, garlic, herbs. It was delicious, and, amazingly, I felt so much better the following day! It was quite a turnaround. I'd been taking Nyquil and Dayquil on last Tuesday and Wednesday, but after the soup, on Thursday, I didn't need to take cold meds anymore! I'd been drinking a lot of miso soup the previous week (before getting sick) also. Plus I do take multivitamins, which contain probiotics and green powder, plus also Vit D, fish oil, and a B complex. Maybe all that really did arm my immune system.

I had to hand out candy on the Tuesday to our trick or treaters. It was an effort, but the kids were so cute. We had about 50 kids. A good number, not too little, not too many.

BigGuy had some kind of training/education/class for work from last Thursday through... today I think. He'd been preparing for it beforehand. Busy busy. I guess this coming weekend is his weekend with his kids (shared custody). So there's no 4th date set with him.

And Harry of course, has been on a very long 3 state business trip. Our daily chats ended while he was away; he only kept in touch sporadically. It sounded like he barely had a day off, and often had business dinners and drinks in the evenings as well! I guess he thrives on the constant whirl. He did text me yesterday to say he was still looking forward to our coming date this week (Wednesday), so, tomorrow. Then I tried to chat with him a little, since he is now home, but he didn't continue the conversation. Hmph. Maybe he's catching up with that woman he mentioned. And I come next.

All these relationships are getting off to such a slow start! Slow and steady wins the race, I guess? I prefer though, when a man actually has time and a sincere desire to see me often enough to get something off the ground! This isn't my style. Also, I get stirred up sexually by a date, and then the guys disappear, and my libido is frustrated! Now that I haven't seen any of the men in a couple weeks, my libido has quieted down, feels managable, not that NRE super high push. And my good sexual energy is directed towards Pixi in a deeply loving and fun way.

Yet I'll have a date with Harry tomorrow, and probably do dinner and have him back here for more talking and some kissing. And I'll get stirred up again, and he'll likely disappear again for who knows how long. Ugh. Oh well, fingers crossed and trying to be patient.

So that's my main dilemma with dating now. I need to text Bermuda and Ravi and tell them I am mostly over my cold, and see if they want to schedule me in again.

Otherwise, besides having the cold, my life is fun. I've slacked off on the gym however. I was all set to go to a 5:00 water exercise class yesterday, but I was tired by 2pm, so I took a nap thinking I'd be up and ready to go in time, but slept til just 5, too late to get to the gym! I guess my body needed the rest more than the exercise. I can't expect to be all better after just one week.

Pixi has been around a lot. :):eek: We have great quality time, cuddling, watching our shows and movies, talking a lot, reading our books and discussing them, having regular yummy sex, saying "I love you" a lot, doing home projects and hobbies. I think I will ask her to go out to dinner tonight. She was envious when I had those dinner dates with Ravi and BigGuy and Harry. Maybe burgers, maybe Asian?

We voted early, last week, at City Hall. So good to get it out of the way. Today is official voting day for the mid terms. I can't even think about results. Of course I hope thousands of female Democrats fill government seats, especially Congress. Our world of politics with that asshole in chief spouting off his toxic nonsense every day is too incredibly painful. Inspiring that guy sending bombs and the other guy actually shooting up a synagogue. Disgusting. I never thought I'd see the day when a guy who wants to be a dictator was our President. Fucking sucks.

Sometimes I wish I was a scientist on a distant island studying marine life. Or on an archeological dig. Somewhere far from the US and its stupid insulting political shitshow.
 
Time for an update! I was waiting until I got to my 3rd or 4th dates with Ravi, Harry and BigGuy. So here's the story:

I had a 3rd date with Ravi about 9 days ago. He came here around 11am, and he got a tour of my house... he seemed to like my paintings a lot, but not be so impressed with the Pyrex. Maybe because he grew up in India so doesn't have the nostalgia. He liked the vintage Fisher Price toys a lot though, and said his daughter would go nuts with them. I said, bring her by sometime!

Then we came upstairs, and sat on the couch and chatted a half hour, then we went out for Thai food. He told me a lot about his job and family history. I realized he is really quite the geeky high tech software engineer entrepreneur genius Wunderkind. His dad was also an entrepreneur and financial wizard, and his grandfather had had a huge farm in India back in the day He paid for lunch, which was nice of him. It was delicious. He had a work meeting (from home on computer) at 2, so we left the restaurant around 1:15.

On the way to the car, he seemed to catch himself up and say, he hoped he hadn't bored me with all his techy talk. I said, no, it was interesting. He said, Maybe you're surprised I don't talk about cannabis like your other young friends. Meaning the friends he'd met at Starbucks the last time. I said, that's OK, cannabis isn't for everyone. We talked about weed though, on the drive home. He's only smoked it once. But he was interested in learning more about it. Not that I'm such a huge pothead. But a lot of my family and friends smoke either recreationally or medicinally.

I had driven us to the restaurant so I drove us back to my place, and whenI pulled in and turned off the engine, before I knew it, he leaned over and started making out with me! Big time. So, he DOES like me that way! He was a good kisser (and so are BigGuy and Harry, which is awesome).

After 5 minutes or so of that, maybe close to 10 minutes, his hands were roaming just a bit. Not on my boobs, just my legs, back, belly... I finally said I thought this was enough for sitting in the car (in my driveway in broad daylight! lol). He kinda went, Awww! So, that was progress. He was really excited, as this must be the first time he's kissed a woman other than his wife in 10 years.

But now I won't see him anytime soon, since he's hosting tons of people for a belated Divali celebration, and Thanksgiving too. However, when he got home, he texted and said he couldn't wait to see me again, and he'd be at the Home Depot near me the next morning, did I want to get together again? But then he found out the item he needed wasn't at that HD so we didn't end up getting together again. Fair enough. I guess I'll see him after Thanksgiving.

I didn't get to see Harry on Wednesday last week, as planned. The night before our long awaited date, he told me someone had gotten sick at work, who was supposed to speak at a panel on Wednesday night (maybe some kind of work related dinner), and he felt he'd better do it. But he immediately offered the next day, Thursday, or early the following week (this week).

I was telling Pixi how Harry was postponing our date, and she said, Tell him Thursday AND early the following week! So I did, and believe it or not, he agreed to Thursday and Tuesday. haha!

And we had both dates and they went well. We went out for dinner on the Thursday. I expressed reservations right away, about his busyness and relative lack of availability. He told me his 2 week business trip had exhausted him. He used to enjoy them in his 20s, traveling all over, staying in fancy hotels, hosting clients at top restaurants. But now he's in his 40s and the travel and heavy meals are starting to feel less fun, and more like a chore. And the fancy multi course meals aren't good for his health and weight. I had noticed he was on the heavy side, but tall, so he seemed to carry it well.

Also, he normally does marketing, not sales, anymore. And while he'd been on his trip, his company had refilled the sales position, so he could go back to marketing. I think he means graphic design and such.

Anyway, he understood my reservations, but expressed he really wanted to keep seeing me, but we'd take intimacy "at my pace." Which wasn't quite my point. My point was, I need steady contact to want to be sexual with someone. But he was trying to be understanding, and I appreciated that. Then we went on to have a great conversation on many different topics. I really like talking to him a lot, he's such a good listener, and so bright and interesting. And definitely has a handle on poly and kink, as far as talking about it goes, at least! Except for the frequent contact bit, but we'll see how that goes as we get more attached.

So when we parted, I didn't do a makeout kiss, but one nice soft kiss. And I invited him to come to my place on the following Tuesday. I'd cook. He had told me he didn't know much about classic movies, and I said I had a bunch recorded off of TCM, so he said, OK, we can do TCM and chill? OK!

He said he liked pretty much all foods.

He came over the planned day, 5 minutes early, 6:25, and I gave him a tour of the house, the usual. We sat and drank some wine. He'd actually asked me if he could bring anything, which was so polite and grownup of him. I asked for wine. So that was another point in his favor. Our conversation was engrossing and pleasant and fun as usual. After an hour and 15, I moved to the kitchen to throw dinner together and he came in and we kept talking. I peeled raw shrimp, threw them in a pot with some jarred Vodka Sauce, and made some angel hair pasta. I didn't want to spend more time fussing, so that's all I made.

We took our plates and wine down to the family room. After some discussion we settled on On the Waterfront, a classic Brando movie that neither of us had seen before. After we finished our food, I kind of leaned into him and we cuddled for the movie. After it ended it was getting late, after 10. I know he gets up early for work, and he had a 45 minute drive home, so I mentioned that, but he said no rush. So he started making out with me. We did that for about 10 minutes. No fondling of private parts, but definitely intimate and nice.

Then he hit the road, and who knows when I'll see him again! We like each other but the ball is in his court as far as planning our next date.

To be continued...
 
Meanwhile, it had been a while since I'd seen BigGuy. We got together Wednesday this week. Yes, one day after seeing Harry! Why couldn't this have been more spaced out? lol

So he and I had been doing some sexting type talk. He wanted to do kink role play. He had an idea of working out some resentments he carries about being humiliated by the nuns in Catholic school when he was quite young.

So not to go into too much detail about this fun and cathartic game, it went really well. First we met at Savers and shopped, which he loves as much as I do. He's a new convert to appreciating vintage things; he was like a kid in a candy store. He got plates and mugs and old Corningware, etc. I got a set of a dinner plate, a small plate and a tea cup for a friend of mine who collects a certain type of dish, red transferware. I also got a Betty Boop mug for me, and a vintage Wonder Woman tumbler for Pixi (not Marvel comics, but she's been mourning Stan Lee, so it kind of served the purpose), and an aluminum cake keeper just like my grandma's, which I've been seeking forever!

We also got some items to fashion a nun's headpiece for me. We hugged and snuggled a few times while shopping. He said, "Getting frisky in aisle 5!" Shopping with me turns him on. It's so cute! He's so tall and muscular and masculine looking, but a bubbly playful and sweet personality, such a fun combination.

La la NRE la la.

He paid for everything. We parted, me to go home and get dressed and set the scene, him to get a pizza. He "delivered" the pizza to me, realized I was his old teacher, and I invited him in to have a piece of pizza and catch up, and we roleplayed about the nuns. I was a composite of the nuns who'd been so mean to him. We talked about his worst experiences. He accused me of being abusive. He obtained my consent to be punished for hurting him and so many other children. So I got lots of wonderful impact play... and it all involved sex and was so yummy, pervy and fun. And I think it helped him a lot.

I had stage fright a bit since I'd never done such formal role play. But it worked out. We laid and talked and talked and cuddled when we were done with the play. So nice. He told me I was beautiful again. Oh, he also told me he'd told his gf about our upcoming role play, and she was all excited for him. She seems to think I sound great and he told me she told him she wants to co-Top me with him, if I was interested! Then he told me more about her personality and interests, and she seems great, definitely bi, and to have a lot in common with me. BigGuy really likes kitchen table poly. He's so bighearted and friendly. So maybe this threesome will come to pass eventually. Well, that's a possible bonus, to get to be with another woman! And he said he'd be fine if she and I ever wanted to do stuff one on one too, go out, or have sex or whatever.

Finally it was 11. He begged to go downstairs and look at my Pyrex again. I said, sure! and take pix if you want. So he did.

We came back upstairs and I gifted him a Pyrex bowl. Since he had paid for my thrifting and dinner too. Plus he hasnt found Pyrex yet, either with me or at his Savers. He was SO thrilled and asked me more about how to care for the dish, and what year it was from, etc.

Pixi had been a great partner and gone to her bf's both Tuesday and Wednesday nights so I could have privacy with Harry and BigGuy. (She and her bf didn't mind at all getting extra time together either.) We sexed each other up 3 times in the 24 hours before my dates with the guys. I didn't want her to feel neglected. So that was awesome too.

Now back to more ordinary life. We are hosting Thanksgiving next week, probably having about 6 people over, some for dinner, some for dessert. My son will come and stay 3 nights or so.

We had our first snow overnight. About 6," but now it's raining and pressing it down. Gonna be above freezing all day, so we won't end up with much of a covering once it's done precipitating.
 
More random thoughts:

Harry is so busy. I know he must be a workaholic. We've texted a little bit since our date, and he complains of never getting enough sleep. It seems he is constantly over-scheduled. Last weekend he spent with a couple old high school friends who were coincidentally both in the area... one for a work thing, one for funeral. So he missed out on sleep partying with them.

It also seems that he's often at work long after when most people would have been home for the night.

So part of me is sarcastically thinking, no wonder he and his wife are breaking up. He admitted on our 2nd date, when I asked, that they'd stopped "courting" each other. They didn't take time to nurture their relationship! And now it almost seems like he magically wants to have a relationship with me, with minimal courtship. Like he thinks I'm fine with some kind of FWB thing where we see each other once a month? With next to no contact in between dates? Hot sex whenever he feels he has time for it, as if I am "sex toaster" like GalaGirl talks about? I admit he's really fun when we ARE together, but it seems ... immature that he thinks he can just pop in and out and expect to just pick up where we left off, with no "work" on the relationship in between. I'm sorry, but I don't understand that approach to a sexual intimate relationship. I get hot for him when he's here, but then time goes by, and time goes by, and the feelings sort of drain away... if he liked me, wouldn't/shouldn't he WANT to try harder to make time to text me, to see me?

Reading back over my last few posts, I seem so hot and cold about all 3 of these guys. LOL. Things definitely came together with BigGuy on our last date, with the shopping, the role play and the nice aftercare and talking and all that good stuff. I am feeling I understand him more now and appreciate his kind good qualities, and positive energy/vibes, and desire for KTP (kitchen table poly). Also, our last visit lasted from 7-11:30, and the previous date lasted even longer. So we have time for shopping, AND eating, AND sex, AND talking after sex. It's a whole experience.

I feel OK about Ravi, especially since he finally made a sexual move. I'm willing to see where it goes. I'm curious to get to the sex part and see if he satisfies me. He says he's not kinky, but maybe he'll be assertive and energetic in a vanilla way, and have lots of stamina (he's only 37).

I'm still hot and cold about Harry. Ugh. He knows I feel cautious about him, so he is moving slowly, sexually. But he doesn't get, I'd rather he'd move FASTER, as regards more attention. It was encouraging he saw me both Thursday and Tuesday, but since Tuesday he's barely spoken except to say he never gets enough sleep. If his demanding job make it so he can't even fit sleeping into his schedule, how in the heck can he do his volunteer work, care for his mother a bit, see friends, get divorced, and date me AND the other woman (who he says, also has a very busy work schedule)? I appreciate he has sex/kink needs. But that takes care and sensitivity. Not just popping over once a month like, "Hi! I'm here! Let's fuck!" I just don't work that way.

So, random thoughts. We'll see what happens.

Now it's the holidays. We keep inviting more people for Thanksgiving. Pixi went to her bf's last night, and might stay 2 nights, since he has taken a week off for Thanksgiving but will be going to his parents' for the actual holiday. So, they are "front loading" some time together. We might be 9 for dinner on Thursday. Our house is small, we don't have a dining room. Our kitchen table only sits 6 comfortably. Pixi had a sudden thought, since her bf won't be home, maybe we could host dinner at his place! He hasn't gotten a table in his dining room yet, but he has a huge kitchen, with a table for 6, tons of counter space, plus a big island for all the food, which also has seating. He also has a huge glamourous living room with a 2 sided gas fireplace faced in stone, 2 walls of windows, 2 stories high, as well as a huge sunken family room with a sectional couch and TV. Plenty of room to sit around after dinner, either with a fire, or to watch the PeeWee's Playhouse marathon on TV. Actually since the fireplace is 2 sided, we could see the fire while we eat in the kitchen as well. And the kitchen has sliders to a back patio, and the family room has French doors to the side patio, so smokers can easily go out for their tobacco or weed. She's going to ask him if we can borrow his house. He can always say no if he's not comfortable with it.
 
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We ended up just doing Thanksgiving here, since 3 of our invitees had things come up last minute. But K brought a friend, so we were 7. We fit fine around the table in our kitchen, and around the fire in our own fireplace in our small mid century living room after dinner. It was fun. Not as glamorous as it would have been at Pixi's bf's, but cozy and easier, because we didn't have to transport food.

So, poly life: I'm seeing BigGuy today late afternoon-evening. We've again been discussing kink things the last week, and planning what we want to do. This time I am going to Top him. We will shop first, and maybe have some snacks at some point. I think he can't stay too late, so maybe it will be like 4-7? I'm looking forward to enjoying his company again! Pixi will stay at her bf's til BigGuy leaves.

(She is in no hurry to meet my new bfs... I think we are both very wary of too much "kitchen table poly," since Kahlo read it so wrong and kept trying to have Pixi relate to him sexually. Ugh. As things go along, I'm sure she will meet them. It seems BigGuy really has a handle on boundaries. We will see about Ravi, since he's a newbie.)

I am also finally going to see Ravi again on Tuesday. It's been almost a month. He was so busy with his holiday parties, plus his parents were visiting from India. I think they finally leave this weekend, so hopefully that will free up his spare time for me, as he said it would!

I've pretty much given up on Harry. He hasn't texted me in about 2 weeks. I really do think he's a workaholic, and careless about romantic relationships. I was so conflicted because of his good qualities, but I'm finally at peace with it. Just as well, 3 male partners was way too much.

I'm fitting in both BigGuy and Ravi, and a dr's appointment tomorrow, and having a platonic friend come over on Wednesday, because on Thursday I am finally going to Florida. My sister's husband is still messed up mentally. He's gone psychotic for various reasons, really bad prednisone reaction, retirement. He's a complete wreck. They've tried so many drugs, and finally went to the old school Lithium, but it's been about a week on that, and there has been only a very tiny bit of improvement. He's always been a prick as far as I am concerned, but now he's barely human.

My sister's been on family medical leave (FMLA) from her job for about 5 weeks. She has to go back to work mid December. It's a terrible situation.

So our oldest best friend, that we've known since elementary school, and I, are getting a hotel room in her town from the 6th through the 10th, to support my sister, and also hopefully have some fun. (Beaches, gardens, outdoor drinking of tropical drinks at tropical pubs, dinner at a vintage Tiki restaurant...)

The day after I arrive I will also go to see my father in his assisted care place, which is having a holiday party that day. I haven't been to Florida since 2015. Last year my sister and our bff met in Asheville NC, but I haven't seen my old demented father in 3 years; because of my cancer, the chemo treatment and recovery, and my back issues. My father probably barely remembers me at this point. And my sister used to have him over for dinner every Sunday, until her husband went nuts. So, we'll both do this little duty visit.

I am getting non-stop flights to Florida this time, both ways! A little more expensive, but I recall that on my flights to and from NC last year, I had to literally run from one terminal to another! And the weather was fine, there were just all sorts of delays and confusion. Fuck that shit, at my age.
 
One more great date with BigGuy happened on Sunday. I feel our trust and appreciation of each other growing with each visit. This was date #5, so maybe it's time to put him in my sig.

We did another role play. This time the scenario was my choice, and I Topped him. It was also a Christian religion theme, but not Catholic this time. Gnostic, which is where my interest lies. Religion and drama (or dramatizing myth) go hand in hand. I've read so much about religious drama, but other than the boring, spiritually empty, protestant liturgy I was brought up with, i've not had enough chance to dramatize or fully participate in religious ritual. What I have done has been pagan, sort of Celtic, based. The last decade or so, the only ritual I do is on Yule. I have done Ostara and Beltane rituals, but only kid friendly rituals.

This drama BigGuy and I did was highly erotic, which pleased me very much. Gnostic and pagan religions are much more celebratory of sex than orthodox Christianity. Of course, Christianity has things in common with other ancient religions, especially Egyptian and Greek mystery religion. So we combined myths that night for a powerful experience.

It was very spiritual, cathartic and sexy. BigGuy told me again and again how he enjoyed it too. And enjoyed me. I liked Topping him finally. He was a creative sub with great energy and responsiveness. Not wimpy at all. He is so open to new experiences, so positive.

And yesterday I saw Ravi. We had a day date. He took me out for breakfast and then we came back to my place so he could, as he said, "pamper me before I go away."

I'd asked what he meant by "pampering" prior to seeing him. He suggested a massage. I figured it would be a massage with a happy ending. The massage lasted 5 minutes, lol. We played for about 2 hours. It was as I expected, energetic vanilla sex. Though we did take a break to talk about sex about halfway through, and I mentioned I was kinky and liked spankings. So he went ahead and experimented with spanking me, and, sure enough, got turned on for a second sex session.

This was his first sex with a woman other than his wife in about 10 years. I'm sure it was a thrill for him! I was vicariously happy for him. And I had a great time. He had some nice skills and I came a lot. We spend a good hour in bed after we were done with the sex, talking too.

Now I can focus on resting up today a bit, while doing laundry and packing. Since Sunday I've had 2 dates with men, went to a dr's appointment in Boston, worked out at the gym, had sex with Pixi too. Guess my back is feeling better!

Today I do have a platonic friend and her toddler coming over in late afternoon to hang out a bit and buy a Fisher Price toy from me for the kid. And Pixi and I will have a nice dinner date too. She wanted a real date after me seeing both my guys, and before I go away for 5 days.

She's got to get me to the airport by 7am tomorrow morning. Her bf wants her to spend the whole long weekend at his place, but she wants to have some time to herself in our house! :p
 
I had a fun and also working 5 day south Florida vacation... Got home about 2pm on Monday.

The fun was hanging out with my sister and our bff, drinking wine or tropical drinks, going out to waterside restaurants, going to the beach twice (well, we were never far from the beautiful turquoise water), going to Trader Joe's for snacks for our room, laughing and joking and making up memes, and we also went to my sister's sister in law's house, which belongs to her fiance. He has an acre and a half of a personal garden, a house, and also a small nursery of tropical plants. He does interior landscaping. It was an amazing colorful flower-filled garden. The SIL loves to garden too, she does it with her bf. I took a ton of pix of bromeliads, palms, tomato plants, tall trees, fruits, so many things.

My sister and I also spent time with our almost 91 year old father, who is in assisted care in her town. His residence had a holiday party the first full day I was there, so she and I went to that. I had never seen his residence before. It was super pretty. And decorated so nicely for the holiday. The staff seemed very nice.

The party was fun. There was a huge buffet with ahi tuna and pigs in blankets, meatballs, lamb chops, coconut chicken, turducken, bacon wrapped scallops, and more; and desserts-- a big table covered in tiny cakes and eclairs. We were also served wine.

After the dinner there was singing by this Italian lounge singer guy in the piano room, doing old standards and Christmas tunes to recorded backup music. Fun! It was all better than I'd expected.

We also had my dad over to my sister's for dinner on Sunday night. I cooked. He hadn't been there for months because of my BIL's illness. I hadnt been to Florida since 2015 because of my cancer and chemo recovery. No one ever thought my dad would live to 91. He's doing OK. He has some dementia but he's not totally out of it yet. It was good to see him again.

The hard part of the trip was getting deep into the issues my sister is having with her mentally ill (OCD and severely depressed with psychosis) husband. Luckily he finally got admitted to a mental ward in a hospital the day before my friend and I arrived for our visit. He's been resistant to care other than meds. Doesn't want to do talking therapy. He's been in an acute state since July, been on many meds, nothing is working, he's just getting worse. Finally his pcp agreed he needed to be hospitalized, again. He once spent 3 days in the mental ward. This time he's been in since last Wednesday, finally getting group therapy, and one on one talking therapy. But he needs continued care, and he "hates talking about himself" to anyone but my sister. Makes him feel weak and unmanly. All that macho bullshit.

My sister is enmeshed in this unhealthy dynamic with her husband of 30 years. Ugh... she enables him, and she's in denial and doesn't see it. He's been depressed all year, he got depressed because of various life challenges (broken equipment, his mechanic moved away, their cat got killed by a coyote, even the weather, since he's a landscaper, was extra rainy and challenging). So he got too depressed to function, had to retire at 65, that makes him more depressed, he has OCD, which spirals around how he's a "loser," he "let down his customers", yada yada.

I've never liked the guy. He's crass and boorish, with a potty mouth, and a right winger on his best days. I'd say he's currently emotionally abusing my sister and their adult son (who is also mentally fragile). Our bestie and I were there to give my sister, or force her to, take a break from all the mess, and try and offer her our perspectives as she tries to get him help in the shitty Florida mental health care system.

So it was a "vacation" of highs and lows. I tried to set a good example of how I have a great healthy relationship with Pixi. And our bestie has a recovering alcoholic husband, who hasn't had a drink now in 18 months. She went to Al Anon when she hit bottom with his drinking. And now things are better for her and him. So she understands the enabling.

Anyway. This is a continuing difficult saga.

I kept in touch with BigGuy while I was away. Of course, I kept in touch with Pixi too. But I was glad BigGuy was in touch, since we are new and still in the early bonding stage. He'd asked me to sent him pretty pix. He half grew up on Fiji so he misses the tropical flora. He loved my pix of plants, beaches, us having mai tais, and all that good stuff. I hope I get to see him soonish. Not just yet... need to recover from the vacation.

I only heard one line from Ravi, he messaged me while I was flying down, to have a fun safe trip. when I saw his text, I said, I had hoped everything was OK with his wife since he and I had our first sex. He said, everything was fine. And that was that. No more texts. No chit chat.

I texted him last night that I was back, and sent him a bunch of pix too, but he hasn't responded. I'm not thrilled with his unenthusiastic texting in between dates. I need to tell him that. Does he want a polyamorous relationship, or just kind of a booty call?

Meanwhile I am re-bonding with Pixi like mad. She had fun on her own and with her bf while I was away, but she's been super affectionate with me since I've been back, with touch, with words. Sex, cuddles, and also listening to me vent about my sister. So nice. I love her so much.
 
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