Hello

[TXretired]

Thank you for this forum. I am the bottom of a v. My wife of 36 yrs on one side, my Life Partner on the other. My wife and I both swing for fun. My LP and her husband do as well. My LP and I are the only crossover between the two couples. Her husband has issues due to the love aspect. My wife does as well. It has been a hard journey

I love both ladies fully and the same. I do not want to damage my LPs marriage. So far he is allowing the relationship. I have been blessed with an awesome wife.
While she does not have full buyin, she is supportive. My wife and my LP like each other,and have a great deal of respect for each other. We do nothing as a threesome, never will.

I look forward to seeing what I can glean from all of you.

 

[Magdlyn]

Thank you for this forum. I am the bottom of a v. My wife of 36 years, Cherry, is on one side, my Life Partner, Kiwi, is on the other. Cherry and I both swing for fun. Kiwi and her husband Kale do, as well. Kiwi and I are the only crossover between the two couples. Kale has issues, due to the love aspect. Cherry does as well. It has been a hard journey.

I love both ladies fully and the same. I do not want to damage Kiwi's marriage. So far Kale is allowing the relationship. I have been blessed with an awesome wife.

While Cherry (?) does not have full buy-in, she is supportive. Cherry and Kiwi like each other, and have a great deal of respect for each other. We do nothing as a threesome, and never will.

I look forward to seeing what I can glean from all of you.

Hi, and welcome!

Please do take a look at our Guidelines to get started in learning more about polyamory. You sound like you are making a difficult transition from swinging. At least 2 members of your polycule are upset.

In polyamory, there is no emphasis on threeway or fourway sex. There is never an assumption that 2 people will "share" a third, or that a person from one couple will automatically have sex with the partner of their partner's other partner (we call that person your metamour). There might be no attraction. Those metamours may not even like each other, or even meet in the first place. The only thing necessary is common social politeness if their paths should cross.

In your arrangement, you and Kale are metamours. Cherry and Kiwi are metamours. Cherry and Kale are only distant relations haha.

In poly, people are individuals. No spouse or partner has the right to "allow" their spouse or partner anything. Poly means the ability to carry on loving relationships with multiple people, with the knowledge and joyful consent of all. Consent, not permission.

Our Guidelines recommend you please choose nicknames for your wife, your life partner, her husband, and anyone else involved. It gets very confusing to read when a poster refers to all the members of their polycule just by how they relate to themselves or each other.

I made suggestions for nicknames to show how that helps. You can change the names if you wish, of course.

I hope we can help you in your difficult transition time.

How long have you been seeing Kiwi?

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings TXretired,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like your spouses are supportive, even if they're not 100% behind the idea of you and LP (Kiwi) being emotionally (as well as sexually) involved with each other. If you need our advice, just let us know. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post them. Poly Relationships Corner is a great place to post if you want quite a few replies from quite a few different people. Good luck in your poly endeavors!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[TXretired]

Kiwi

I have known Kiwi for about a year and a half. We had a friendship that developed into love. Our coupledom began about 7 mos ago.

In regard to guidelines in polyamory. One must remember they are just that. Just as the Church would condemn me as I do not fit into a mold, neither must I fit into guidelines established by anyone.

Kiwi and I made commitments to our spouses 36 and 39 yrs ago respectfully. We believe in those commitments. We live those commitments. This does not mean that kiwi and I love each other less. However, we will uphold what each of us believe in.

 

[Magdlyn]

I have known Kiwi for about a year and a half. We had a friendship that developed into love. Our coupledom began about 7 months ago.

In regard to guidelines in polyamory: one must remember they are just that. Just as the Church would condemn me as I do not fit into a mold, neither must I fit into guidelines established by anyone.

The Guidelines I mentioned are not guidelines for polyamory, they are guidelines for this board, to make it run smoothly. There is also a glossary as well as helpful links to information about how to do polyamory ethically and practically.

Everyone is free to practice poly in a way that suits them. But there are certain requirements that actually make it polyamory, and not cheating, or swinging, or cuckolding, or other forms of non-monogamy, etc.

Kiwi and I made commitments to our spouses 36 and 39 yrs ago respectfully. We believe in those commitments. We live those commitments. This does not mean that Kiwi and I love each other less. However, we will uphold what each of us believe in.

You've known Kiwi for 18 months and became a romantic couple 7 months ago. Maybe you met her and first had sex with her, in a swinging situation, where deep feelings of love were not "supposed" to happen. It seems Kale is struggling with that, and Cherry isn't thrilled either.

Whether it is true love and a life partnership remains to be seen. You can call it that, but many adults find that love is something that lasts after infatuation dies down, after a year or two. You need to find out if a person is going to be with you in hard times as well as fun easy times.