I'm newbie. In a current monogamous relationship. Looking if maybe this might be my future. We were swingers and for awhile had a special friend that my mate was aware of and was ok with that. It's just us now no more swinging as she has lost all interest in intimacy. I don't know if I'm in th we right place but I'm sure y'all will let me know. I'm a lost soul.
I'm Eyeshere and I am I think?
- Thread starter Eyeshere
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Hi, let me see if I read you right.
You're new to the forum.
You're male and in a long-term relationship.
You and your female partner used to swing.
You yourself had a "special friend" that your SO knew about and approved of.
Your SO has lost her libido entirely.
You still love her but want to get your sexual needs met.
You feel lost.
Is that right? Would you correct me, and/or add more to clarify?
Hello Eyeshere,
You are just at the beginning of a long journey into poly. Learn as much as you can about it, then sit down with your mate and have a talk. With your experience in swinging, you'll know a bit about having multiple sex partners, now to move into poly you "just" need to add the emotional factor.
You're not doing anything wrong, poly is definitely about having that emotional/romantic connection with more than one person, you've come here for help and suggestions, we are happy to steer you in that direction.
Regards,
Kevin T.
You are just at the beginning of a long journey into poly. Learn as much as you can about it, then sit down with your mate and have a talk. With your experience in swinging, you'll know a bit about having multiple sex partners, now to move into poly you "just" need to add the emotional factor.
You're not doing anything wrong, poly is definitely about having that emotional/romantic connection with more than one person, you've come here for help and suggestions, we are happy to steer you in that direction.
Regards,
Kevin T.
This is how clear communication works! You're fine. I stated back what I heard. You added more to clarify. Perfect.
Got it!
So you want another partner, to have sex with AND to love. Very good. How does your mate feel about that? You already had a "special friend" from the swinging world? It was more than just sex and friendship? And your mate was okay with that, so you hope they are going to be okay with actual polyamory?
It's cool you're here. Please read around, check out our Golden Nuggets forum for lots of resources on polyamory!
We have had dozens of former swingers (probably thousands of lurkers) come here when they feel they want more from multiple partners than just sex, or when they actually fall in romantic love with a swinging partner. You can search "swinging to polyamory" or similar terms to read other threads on the topic.