Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

While working on tax paperwork on Wednesday, I discovered that MisterMoonbeam has been charging hundreds to thousands, to multiple credit cards on phone games over the past year, at least. To say I was devastated at this news is putting it lightly. At one point a couple years ago or so, he was bankrupting himself on these games, as well as OnlyFans accounts.

He didn’t try to deny anything, and he seemed really cold toward me when discussing it. He pointed out it was just the games this time, and that he hadn’t done anything with OnlyFans. I told him I’d rather he did it the other way around, because at least a regular human would be benefiting, rather than some stupid overseas corporation!

I have been completely out of sorts since then. I feel blindsided, stupid. I don’t feel like I can trust him about anything again. He had stopped therapy only recently - within the last couple of months - but now he says he will start back up. He deleted the “most problematic” games last night. I’m not sure if it will be helpful because he was in therapy this whole time and charging things willy-nilly: $9.99, $2.99, $29.99. It was multiple charges again and again. He says he didn’t realize it was adding up.

Idk. How does someone fix this? I’m just kinda numb right now. We had good conversation last night but today I was so down and depressed. I was supposed to do a bunch of organizing and instead I did laundry and cleaned the sunroom and then just sat and did nothing.

Today apparently the car wouldn’t start for him at lunchtime. We got a new battery like 2 months ago. I called two places and an alternator is $1000. That is gonna suck right before Christmas. I don’t even know what to do with that, honestly. Hopefully the new battery is broken somehow - DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam are going to take it to AutoZone later and get that checked.

 

[Bluebird]

We got the car fixed - yep, $1000 alternator. Ugh. It’s crazy because we just had the van’s done.

This weekend I worked hard with my business and made $360 so far with a mystery box promotion for Small Business Saturday. I hope I make more, because cash flow sucks right now. However, I also don’t wanna make more because I have other things I really need to focus on!

TheEngineer is coming over tonight for Game Night and then tomorrow he’s going to put together a flower-sorter I imagined and he drew out and measured for me. I spent yesterday afternoon painting all of the plywood pieces and I will be painting even more of them today! My friend is coming over today to help with other business stuff.

I still have to get the house cleaned up but that’s a Wednesday issue, I guess. Thursday, MisterMoonbeam and I are going to go to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving, and then my kids are all coming over on Friday this year.

 

[LaminarFlow]

Sorry to hear about MisterMoonbeams inability to do financial management very well. Don't want to be harsh, but someone who was almost bankrupting himself years ago should not even have multiple credit cards to begin with. I would kindly ask him to safekeep the cc's somewhere until he can be responsible again with money. Where I'm from cc's aren't a main payment tool to begin with.

How does your financial structure look like with DarkKnight and MMB? Do you have a family account and each their own fun account?

 

[Bluebird]

How does your financial structure look like with DarkKnight and MMB? Do you have a family account and each their own fun account?

DarkKnight has his own checking and savings account - his paycheck deposits into there automatically. MisterMoonbeam has his own as well with the same situation. Both of them send me a set amount of money each pay period: MisterMoonbean has his accounting department at work break his check into portions and I get a specific amount deposited automatically, whereas DarkKnight goes into his online banking and transfers his amount over personally. The account that I pay bills from is in my name and DarkKnight’s name, which is a holdover from before MisterMoonbeam was sharing finances. None of us has cared enough to add him to it because it hasn’t been necessary.

On payday, DarkKnight sends me screenshots of each of his credit card balances and I text him and tell him how much and which ones to pay from our joint account. Sometimes I tell him to transfer money back out to himself, to cover his own car insurance or life insurance payments, which come out of his personal account automatically. I pay the electric bill and this account is also used for groceries and eating out. This money also covers my student loan and my life insurance, as well as my two credit cards.

On payday, MisterMoonbeam sits down with me and verbally tells me his credit card balances and I tell him how much and which ones to pay. I also tell him to send some money to savings, and when to pay his student loan and our joint cell phone bill.

Neither of my nesting partners wishes to have any sort of control over their finances further - they both say it’s too complicated and would rather not. I honestly hate it but prior to my business existing, I didn’t work so it was my contribution to the family to keep all this stuff ticking over. Their paycheck “fun money” is always in their own personal accounts and they do what they want with it. I don’t police it or pay attention to it in any way.

We meet twice a year for a “state of the union” where I show all of our bills, credit card and loan balances, retirement accounts, and we discuss short and long term plans for our lives and for things like house repairs and trips. At that time we adjust the amounts they pay into the joint account if needed.

Last year saw us getting a handle on wills and life insurance because we thought I was going to die. Now that the prospect of that is further out into the future and not immediate, this year was focusing on my business. Almost all of the start up costs were distributed through various credit cards held by DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam, which we specifically got with 0% interest to make it easier to pay off. Some of these cards are held individually and some of them have each other listed as authorized users, to help MisterMoonbeam build credit, as his was pretty bad initially.

Because I was charging tons of business things to MisterMoonbeam’s cards, I was not paying attention that he was attaching gaming costs to them at the same time. I can say that there were several instances where I was surprised at the balance total, but just figured he had ordered filament or something related to 3D printing. Stupid me - I did not think about him still having spending issues, especially since he was in active therapy.

Moving forward, I will be getting credit card statement print outs each month from both of my nesting partners, until my business charges are completely paid off. Right now none of them are overdrawn or anything and everyone still has credit scores above 700. Which is good, because both of our vehicles are paid off and we would like to get a new van at some point. I’m hoping to push that to 2027 though.

 

[Slugzilla]

We got the car fixed - yep, $1000 alternator. Ugh. It’s crazy because we just had the van’s done.

This weekend I worked hard with my business and made $360 so far with a mystery box promotion for Small Business Saturday. I hope I make more, because cash flow sucks right now. However, I also don’t wanna make more because I have other things I really need to focus on!

TheEngineer is coming over tonight for Game Night and then tomorrow he’s going to put together a flower-sorter I imagined and he drew out and measured for me. I spent yesterday afternoon painting all of the plywood pieces and I will be painting even more of them today! My friend is coming over today to help with other business stuff.

I still have to get the house cleaned up but that’s a Wednesday issue, I guess. Thursday, MisterMoonbeam and I are going to go to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving, and then my kids are all coming over on Friday this year.

Hello BlueBird! I’ve been reading some of your posts and I do hope all is well for you. You seem like a good person and I have confidence stuff will pan out.

Wild to me how people can just ruin finances and great relationships on a whim—but I don’t mean to make reads on anyone here I just wanted to give you a little vote of confidence, cause we ALL need a little now and then when things are hard. Stay safe, stay healthy!

SlugZilla

 

[Bluebird]

Wild to me how people can just ruin finances and great relationships on a whim—but I don’t mean to make reads on anyone here I just wanted to give you a little vote of confidence, cause we ALL need a little now and then when things are hard. Stay safe, stay healthy!

SlugZilla

I wouldn’t call the circumstances a whim - I feel he has a very real addiction. I don’t think he realized how much things were adding up. My relationship isn’t ruined though, and neither are our finances. Things aren’t great , but ruined is definitely not the outcome. I am struggling with ideas on how to help him.

I have actually scheduled our State of the Union later than usual - normally it’s in October/November. At this point it probably won’t be until mid to late January, as I am wanting to be able to share tax information and year end numbers for my business.

I appreciate the positive thoughts!

 

[Bluebird]

Photo drop!

Today MisterMoonbeam & I went to his parents’ house for turkey and talk. They really are sweet - I love my in-laws a bunch! My hair is looking kinda curly because I let it air dry.


Here’s a photo compilation I made of MisterMoonbeam wearing Flynn vests. There is a drop tomorrow for Black Friday where they are $150 for a mystery pattern. That price is for both the regular length, which is normally $300, and the longer tabards, which are $650! He only owns the single red & black medallion tabard so it would be amazing if I can score another one for him. We will see how it goes!



Another picture of the day - I forget when this was taken - sometime last week? I’m wearing the tshirt I bought when TheEngineer and I went to the indoor skydiving place.



I made this headpiece and mailed it out to its new owner yesterday!

 

[XTremeMeow]

I've tried to start a blog here quite a few times, but always get distracted before hitting submit. Hopefully by beginning with a bit of cut and paste from my already existing threads, I can at least get the first entry here off into the ether, finally!

My husband and I started talking about opening up our marriage at the beginning of July, after about 8 years of being together as a mono couple.

I was married once before for almost 10 years, and it ended in divorce for many reasons, but one being that my ex-husband was happy with having sex once a month, and I wasn't.

My husband now is happy with sex about once a week, but my drive has always been much stronger - I would prefer once a day, or more, if I could stop chafing. Over the years, we've struggled with our mismatched needs and he has been very accommodating with both helping me masturbate and trying to increase his libido to keep up with me. When we do have sex, he is giving and caring and very attentive to my every need. The only complaint I have is the quantity, not the quality.

I have never wanted my husband to feel inadequate or that there is something wrong with him. I actually see it as more as a deficit within myself, to be honest. I've done a lot of reading about sex addictions and nymphos, but I don't believe I am at that level of horny. Lol. I'm not addicted to porn, or cheating. However, I was able to recognize in my first marriage that once a month was woefully inadequate for my needs. So this has been an issue from the very start of our marriage together. My husband knew that I need some sort of sexual release once a day, and we've worked really hard on communicating about how this effects our relationship. It has really put a strain on us in some ways, because sometimes I feel he is just going through the motions, to make sure I'm happy. I don't want pity sex. That isn't sexy, or satisfying to me. We have had tons of talks about this, for years.

So, to sum all that backstory up, right now he is wanting to remain mono, himself, and has been feeling lots of compersion as I move forward as being poly. Neither of us are bi, and we aren't interested in threesomes or swinging. Though I am continuing to encourage my husband to think about it, he so far is ok with being mono.

I started out trying to put together a relationship with a mutual single guy friend of ours, which lasted a couple of weeks and was, quite frankly, torturous for me emotionally. This guy was extremely mono, and was all over the place with his feelings for me. In the end, he told me he was never really attracted to me at all, and though I don't believe that, he did some damage to my self esteem while we were together.

Regrouping from that, I put up a profile on okcupid and then went on two dates with a guy, B, who was single and said he was open to poly. I enjoyed going out with him, but I cut him off soon after meeting M, who is my current boyfriend.

Hey Bluebird,

Thank you for sharing all of this. It takes courage to open up about something so personal, and you expressed it with so much clarity and care. Your self-awareness really shines through. The way you and your husband have navigated mismatched drives with honesty, compassion, and steady communication is honestly admirable. A lot of couples struggle with far less challenging dynamics, and the two of you seem to approach things as teammates, which is beautiful to see.

I’m glad you’re giving yourself permission to explore what you need while still protecting the bond you’ve built. It’s also completely understandable that your first attempt stirred up some emotional turbulence. Those early steps into poly can be messy, especially when the other person isn’t actually aligned. What matters is that you regrouped, learned something, and didn’t let the experience define you.

It sounds like you’re on a much better path now with M, and it’s great that your husband is supportive and experiencing compersion. That’s a pretty strong foundation for whatever comes next.

Looking forward to hearing more about your journey whenever you feel like sharing.

 

[XTremeMeow]

Shit, just lost my entire post to an iPad brain fart!

Lots of emotions here today. M and I were finally intimate last night (and this morning!) and things were great. He and I are very compatible and he is very giving and concerned with my needs, so that was just awesome.

My husband was mostly amused at us today; apparently he went around the house last night to see in which rooms he could hear spillover from my excitement. He and M were teasing me together this morning at the late breakfast table about how much I had enjoyed myself! Silly guys. I was worried my husband might be depressed or sad, so I did not expect to see him laughing and feeling lots of compersion, but he did!

Will write more later, but I am really exhausted and need a nap!

Wow, that sounds like such a full and beautiful day for you. I’m really glad to hear the intimacy went so well. It’s amazing when you find that kind of compatibility and care with someone new. And honestly, the way your husband handled everything made me smile. His teasing, the compersion, the lightness around it all… that’s such a strong sign of how solid your foundation is together. It’s really lovely to hear.

It sounds like your heart, body, and energy levels all went through a lot in the best way possible, so a nap definitely sounds well-deserved.

I’m happy for you. It seems like you’re navigating this new chapter with so much honesty, affection, and support on all sides. Rest up, and I look forward to hearing more whenever you feel up to sharing.

 

[Bluebird]

Rest up, and I look forward to hearing more whenever you feel up to sharing.

Well, there are over a decade of posts here to read, moving forward from the one you quoted. I’ve been sharing quite a lot, for quite a while!

 

[XTremeMeow]

Haha oh wow. so you’re basically offering me the extended universe, the director’s cut, and all the bonus commentary.

At this point I feel like I should’ve shown up with a reading lamp, a blanket, and a bowl of popcorn.

“Previously… on The Adventures of Bluebird!”
But hey, challenge accepted, I’m ready for the archives.

 

[Bluebird]

Haha oh wow. so you’re basically offering me the extended universe, the director’s cut, and all the bonus commentary.

At this point I feel like I should’ve shown up with a reading lamp, a blanket, and a bowl of popcorn.

“Previously… on The Adventures of Bluebird!”
But hey, challenge accepted, I’m ready for the archives.

You won’t be the first. I’ve gotten messages over the years where people are excited to tell me they read my whole journal here. I’m always sorta flattered but also slightly horrified at the same time!

 

[XTremeMeow]

You won’t be the first. I’ve gotten messages over the years where people are excited to tell me they read my whole journal here. I’m always sorta flattered but also slightly horrified at the same time!

Haha. By the way. I believe I sent you a private message. Could you please check it out

 

[Bluebird]

I had a very productive weekend, with lots of upgrades happening in my studio.

Flower sorter: TheEngineer actually installed this last week, but I don’t think I posted it. My helper friend is coming over today to put it to use! It’s open along the top to dump in single blossoms that don’t have stems to store elsewhere. When I need random flower pieces, I can snag what I need from the bottom. The columns are so I can sort by color, and it turns into an art piece. I have a huge pile of bins in my gym that have been stacking up all year, full of random flowers that need a home! This is that home.



Inventory room: I took down the Photo Booth area and painted a wall. MisterMoonbeam hung up four curtain rods and now I have a space to hang the 1,000 flower crowns I need for my big event this summer. I think it’s going to be some fun content to watch it fill up! The other side of the room (where I am standing to take the picture) is also empty right now. I need to update it this week to be more useful with my shipping needs. It’s been a disorganized mess for a while.



Waiting Station: MisterMoonbeam figured out that he needed a place to better store headbands as he finishes attaching the 3D prints and antlers to them. I also do a lot of work with this process, but lately he’s been way ahead of me and there are a lot of headbands that are ready for flowers before I can schedule time to work on them! Now there’s a small space in the studio expansion (above the portable AC) that is designed to hold these. My only issue is that I need more space - this doesn’t work for tentacles or antlers.



Hopefully I can find time to get more done with upgrades this week! Not only does my shipping station need love, but the inventory needs to be put back into the racks in that room. My Photo Booth area no longer exists and last night I started using two pieces of heavy duty foam board as a backdrop on a Kallax. It worked great but it’s not a permanent solution! (Here’s a pic of a headband that I took using the one foam board as a background.)



I’m feeling really overwhelmed because I now have zero time to do anything else except product creation, but I have appointments that will stymie that this week. Today I’m shipping out the rest of my mystery boxes (I sold 13 for Small Business Saturday!) and I need to file my Tennessee sales taxes, which I haven’t even looked into, even a little.

Product creation - well, it’s a lot this month! I still have a double-digit custom request list to knock down over the next couple of days. Oh, and then there’s the 15-20 headpiece order that I have until Christmas to complete and get mailed to Utah. I made a handwritten list of those pieces and hung them on a wall so I can check them off as I go. The hope with those is that when they are shared on social media next month, my website will go crazy and anything I have listed at that time will sell out. So when I make a headpiece to send out, I need to make multiples to list on my website at the same time!

Speaking of the website - I had a 45-minute conversation yesterday with the developer and we are really close to launching. Today I need to figure out weights on all my products and what size boxes they’ll be mailed in, and then set a flat rate shipping & handling charge. I have two sizes of boxes that I stock already but I need a medium size so I am going to see what the post office & UPS store has available this morning. Tomorrow I will have another call, and she is gonna walk me through how to add items and update pages on the website. Once I am comfortable, we should be able to go live this weekend. I hope!

Friday I leave for my weekend trip to see my extended family in NY with MisterMoonbeam (DarkKnight has a show and can’t go). So I also need to find time this week to go Christmas shopping for the 11 people I will be seeing. Gah!

 

[XTremeMeow]

I had a very productive weekend, with lots of upgrades happening in my studio.

Flower sorter: TheEngineer actually installed this last week, but I don’t think I posted it. My helper friend is coming over today to put it to use! It’s open along the top to dump in single blossoms that don’t have stems to store elsewhere. When I need random flower pieces, I can snag what I need from the bottom. The columns are so I can sort by color, and it turns into an art piece. I have a huge pile of bins in my gym that have been stacking up all year, full of random flowers that need a home! This is that home.

View attachment 6189

Inventory room: I took down the Photo Booth area and painted a wall. MisterMoonbeam hung up four curtain rods and now I have a space to hang the 1,000 flower crowns I need for my big event this summer. I think it’s going to be some fun content to watch it fill up! The other side of the room (where I am standing to take the picture) is also empty right now. I need to update it this week to be more useful with my shipping needs. It’s been a disorganized mess for a while.

View attachment 6188

Waiting Station: MisterMoonbeam figured out that he needed a place to better store headbands as he finishes attaching the 3D prints and antlers to them. I also do a lot of work with this process, but lately he’s been way ahead of me and there are a lot of headbands that are ready for flowers before I can schedule time to work on them! Now there’s a small space in the studio expansion (above the portable AC) that is designed to hold these. My only issue is that I need more space - this doesn’t work for tentacles or antlers.

View attachment 6187

Hopefully I can find time to get more done with upgrades this week! Not only does my shipping station need love, but the inventory needs to be put back into the racks in that room. My Photo Booth area no longer exists and last night I started using two pieces of heavy duty foam board as a backdrop on a Kallax. It worked great but it’s not a permanent solution! (Here’s a pic of a headband that I took using the one foam board as a background.)

View attachment 6190

I’m feeling really overwhelmed because I now have zero time to do anything else except product creation, but I have appointments that will stymie that this week. Today I’m shipping out the rest of my mystery boxes (I sold 13 for Small Business Saturday!) and I need to file my Tennessee sales taxes, which I haven’t even looked into, even a little.

Product creation - well, it’s a lot this month! I still have a double-digit custom request list to knock down over the next couple of days. Oh, and then there’s the 15-20 headpiece order that I have until Christmas to complete and get mailed to Utah. I made a handwritten list of those pieces and hung them on a wall so I can check them off as I go. The hope with those is that when they are shared on social media next month, my website will go crazy and anything I have listed at that time will sell out. So when I make a headpiece to send out, I need to make multiples to list on my website at the same time!

Speaking of the website - I had a 45-minute conversation yesterday with the developer and we are really close to launching. Today I need to figure out weights on all my products and what size boxes they’ll be mailed in, and then set a flat rate shipping & handling charge. I have two sizes of boxes that I stock already but I need a medium size so I am going to see what the post office & UPS store has available this morning. Tomorrow I will have another call, and she is gonna walk me through how to add items and update pages on the website. Once I am comfortable, we should be able to go live this weekend. I hope!

Friday I leave for my weekend trip to see my extended family in NY with MisterMoonbeam (DarkKnight has a show and can’t go). So I also need to find time this week to go Christmas shopping for the 11 people I will be seeing. Gah!

Wow, you’ve had an insanely productive week! It’s amazing to see how much organization and creativity you’re pouring into your studio right now. The flower sorter looks brilliant, turning storage into an art piece is such a cool idea. And that wall for the crowns is going to look absolutely magical once it fills up!

I’m always impressed by how you juggle so much at once: custom orders, shipping, taxes, website prep, events, and still somehow managing all the upgrades in your space. It’s a lot, and it makes total sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just remember you’re doing so much already, and it really shows.

The headband pic came out beautiful, even with a temporary backdrop! Honestly, everything is looking like it’s coming together piece by piece, even if it feels chaotic from the inside.

I hope this week gives you at least a little breathing room between appointments and all the to-dos. And congrats again on the Small Business Saturday sales , 13 mystery boxes is amazing!

Safe travels on your trip to NY, and I hope you get a bit of rest among all the family time. You’ve earned it.

 

[Bluebird]

So my brother called me Wednesday and I talked to both him and the mother of his kids, and they have nothing for Christmas. I went and spent $280 a kid that night on gifts. They swear they will pay me back in January, which I am hoping for but not counting on. It was actually fun to go shopping but my credit cards really are crying right now.

Yesterday morning I slept in until 10:30, to discover that Ohio had canceled their Yuletide Village this weekend. Thankfully I had not reserved a hotel. I was able to resell my tickets so that was good - they’re good any weekend. I was sorta relieved to have had today at home. Honestly, my house is a disaster and my studio is unorganized and the holidays have me feeling very overwhelmed.

MisterMoonbeam went into work on Thursday so I was home alone. I felt like I would be more focused if someone was in the house with me but that wasn’t happening. I pretty much spent the entire day in bed, but then TheEngineer surprised me and came over for a late lunch. That was really nice.

I did a lot of laundry today and I think I’m pretty much ready to drive to New York tomorrow.

My garb room has exploded. I can at least ignore it since I don’t need garb this weekend now! I will just keep the door closed.

My Christmas tree is naked but I have started slowly fluffing the branches each time I walk by. All of the bins are in the entryway. The guys promised to put up the outside lights in the house next weekend.

 

[Bluebird]

I had a good weekend in NY with MisterMoonbeam. It was a busy trip but it went well. I’m glad to be back home though - I have a lot going on!

I made the big announcement of the event my business is doing next summer, and I am finishing up getting my website ready to go live. The company that I’ve partnered with is making their announcement by the end of the week - they wanna link to my site so my plan is to hopefully have the site ready to go today!

I am so very excited about a lot of things. My life is good.

 

[Mish]

Nice picture. Beautiful smiles.

 

[Bluebird]

I’ve had a busy week. My website went live, the business I’m partnered with made their blog post, and it did result in a few pre-orders. I missed two days of creating product because of website issues needing my full attention, so I’m going to have to work hard next week.

My tree is still undecorated. MisterMoonbeam and I are out Christmas shopping today - we stopped by to see TheEngineer at a craft show in Frederick.I’m writing this while he makes a Starbucks order at the mall. I need to instead be creating a list of what needs to be purchased for presents!

 

[Bluebird]

Both Yuletide events (Ohio & Pennsylvania) got canceled on me due to weather. I wore this outside today instead for some pictures.

Yes, I made the flower crown!











MisterMoonbeam was upset which made me upset and I ended up crying and having a meltdown. This caused me to cancel my date with TheEngineer because he had his 3-year-old and I wasn’t about to hang out with me being a hot mess. Everything is calm now but I am still residually sad and exhausted emotionally.