Recent content by Kommander

  1. Kommander

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    So, this message happened: Ok. I've received similar messages before. I usually don't reply to them, but nothing out of the ordinary. About an hour and a half later, according to the timestamps, they said this: I... don't know how to respond to that. Even though I've wished many times that...
  2. Kommander

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    I chose "I've always had poly tendencies and never really took to monogamy" because it is close enough. Monogamy has never made sense to me, but for a good chunk of my life, I believed that cheating or sticking to casual relationships were the only viable alternatives. I didn't want to cheat...
  3. Kommander

    Can you change your user name?

    I successfully changed my name a while ago. I was told the following:
  4. Kommander

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    There's this one woman in one of the poly groups I meet with that likes to share her OKC messages with everyone. She'd love this thread. Recurring themes include men with low match/high enemy percentages claiming they have a lot in common, men comparing themselves to Christian Grey, and...
  5. Kommander

    Expectations cause hate?

    I'm one of those Cartesian "everything is subjective, nothing is certain" types. So, no, and, no. We can make predictions based on available evidence, though. That's something!
  6. Kommander

    Expectations cause hate?

    The problem with expectations isn't that expectations in themselves are good or bad, it's that people often don't go about things in the healthiest of ways, and tend to assign responsibility where it doesn't belong. Expectations, in the context here, are essentially predictions of future...
  7. Kommander

    Anarchy! (Um . . . Relationship Anarchy, that is.)

    So it was an emotional outburst. It happens, it's not really a big deal. Putting the focus on fixing problems and the actual consequences of one's actions instead of manufactured consequences like punishment/revenge. Yeah, pretty much. This sounds like a hybrid direct democracy/representative...
  8. Kommander

    Anarchy! (Um . . . Relationship Anarchy, that is.)

    Wow. While reading the rest of your post, I was thinking "This person seems reasonable and I more or less agree with what they are saying." Then I read this paragraph and thought the opposite. While you claim that I don't know what I'm talking about and that what I said is bullshit, I think...
  9. Kommander

    Children and Polyamory: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Should your kids be taken away? No. Unfortunately, my opinion doesn't matter in this situation. Fortunately, most courts (in the Western world, anyway) would agree with me. I take it you're a biological parent? Generally, biological parents have to seriously fuck up to lose custody of their...
  10. Kommander

    Anarchy! (Um . . . Relationship Anarchy, that is.)

    Really? I mostly just rehashed what others were saying. I guess that can make a difference sometimes. As long as you're not planning on prefacing it with something along the lines of "Look what this idiot said," I'm fine with this. Although, I have a feeling that won't be a problem. After...
  11. Kommander

    Anarchy! (Um . . . Relationship Anarchy, that is.)

    Like Marcus, I use the term Relationship Anarchy because it's a good description of my approach to relationships, descriptive verses prescriptive. Many would probably argue I'm not a "true Relationship Anarchist" or some such bullshit, but I'm generally unconcerned with such people's opinions...
  12. Kommander

    How far should fluid bonding go??

    It kind of sounds like you want someone to give you permission to not use condoms at all among the three of you. Is that an accurate assessment? If so, as a semi-anonymous stranger with no responsibility or personal risk in this situation, you have my permission to weigh the pros and cons and...
  13. Kommander

    How far should fluid bonding go??

    If you being new to poly has any part in feeling uncomfortable about this situation, it's minor. The primary reason is that there is risk involved, and you are uncomfortable with that risk. In my experience, sucking it up and proceeding for the sake of gaining "experience" is a bad idea...
  14. Kommander

    US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

    The law was probably meant to apply to grooming young women for polygamy, but the wording is vague. "Teaching polygamy" could mean a lot of things.
  15. Kommander

    US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

    In Michigan, it is illegal to "teach polygamy," whatever the hell that means. I'm sure my anthropology professor would be happy to know that she's broken the law hundreds of times. I've violated this law myself several times as well, both in school and outside of school.
Top