I would consider myself a Relationship Anarchist, I had my first experience with relationship anarchy when I was young (maybe too young) which lasted for a few years until I was 7/8 (imagine a little boy struggling to explain why the girl he was kissing and in love with wasn't his girlfriend when being teased by the other boys), the relationship eventually ended because a teacher caught us taking turns chasing and kissing each other and shouted that what we were doing was wrong and forbade us from seeing each other. I don't remember much from earlier but I remember the later stages, probably due to how traumatic it was at the time. There was also another boy who also liked the girl who I was in love with, I didn't realise it at the time but looking back it seems that he was very jealous which would explain why he bullied me for a while (If he had said something I would have probably shared, I shared everything).
Later in my teens my ideas of relationship anarchy and polyamory sprouted, I was in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful woman. It didn't feel right at all, their was nothing wrong with the girl but the whole relationship just felt awful. Everything just seemed too traditional and forced, go to cinema (I don't even like most movies) etc. just thinking about it and all of the expectations was too much and I began to isolate myself (what I tend to do when in deep thought about something I find important), I questioned and didn't like any of it. I went to a small halloween party that she hosted with her friends in her back yard (I liked her friends, I thought they were cool) and after hanging around in her shed she was hugging her friend and after her friend said "Are you jealous?", I was not jealous but happy that she had someone she could rely on (I'm pretty sure that I was a dumbass and said yes though), later while I was thinking about how much I dredded the relationship but loved her thoughts about polyamory came up and I just knew. By then it was too late and I had become depressed, everything that I was sick of all came up, bullying, coercive authority, the status quo etc. and after not seeing her for a while she broke up with me but I was too numb to feel the pain. We met up later but I just couldn't go through with a relationship anymore.
Please note that these are my personal opinions
My relationship anarchism is quite literally Anarchism which by the way has nothing to do with politics, it is a philosophy, an analysis of power relations between people and understanding that states if the form of authority cannot be reasonably justified it is to be dismantled to maximize the freedom of individual, politics only come into Anarchism when discussing alternative methods of organizing without forcing people to do things with violence (I'm not here to promote Anarchism so don't ask me any questions that aren't relevant to relationship anarchy, I don't want to derail the thread).
Boundries
All forms of domination in relationships that are not consentual are in direct contradiction with anarchy and thus reason for me to dissasociate with the individual (in effect to end the relationship), this also includes all forms of bigotry; sexism, racism, classism etc. so if for example somebody attacked me because of my race I would not want a relationship with that person. This is not a rule, I won't terminate a relationship the second that they are acting like a bigot, I will discuss it with them, tell them that I don't like it and give rational reasons as to why they shouldn't act in that manner and why I think it's wrong. I wont create any rules that they have to follow with threats if they don't but mutual respect is necessary for a relationship.
Organizing equally without coersion
I view those who call poly people sluts who just want to cheat and are greedy the same way I view people telling women that they are useless and belong in the kitchen, they are imposing a irrational system or "stereotype" and even though their (assumed) ignorance is not their fault that doesn't mean it should be tolerated, I will call them out on it and if they are willing to listen explain. Relationship anarchy is about organizing the relationship on your terms and nobody else's which if you want to have a "successful" relationship means taking all members of the relationship into consideration out of respect for their independance and your own, this includes not coercing a participant to conform to something just because it is a norm or to give into demands, for this kind of relationship to even begin to work it must be mutual.
Hierarchy
An-Archos - Without Rulers, this encompasses hierarchy. There is a hierarchy where sexual relations are on top and friendship is below, i.e. the "friend zone". Relationship anarchy removes the catagories defined by the presence of sexual/romantic relations, making all relation between people equal and ready to be distributed according to your needs and not stereotypes. There is no value assigned to a relationship merely because it includes sex (friends are important too), you are free to do what ever you want as long as all involved consent. This includes all hierarchy in relationships like the hierarchy where monogamy is above polyamory and everything else is "heresy". Relationship anarchy diverges from some forms of polyamory in that it is explicitly against the "primary" and "secondary" hierarchy, no behaviour is restricted to sexual/romantic relations, all relations are important and can help meet needs and desires and deserve whatever amount of time you want with no privilege in regard to sex/romance.
I'm a relationship anarchist and poly becuase I wish to have free relations and to base them on what is right for all involved while avoiding illegitimate authority, to breed an environment based on mutual respect, mutual aid, honesty, communication and because my love is not restricted to one person, to one method. What is right for one is not for all.
Like Marcus, I use the term Relationship Negative reactions to the word "anarchist": The word "anarchy" is usually associated with the political philosophy, which I believe is shitty and wouldn't work in reality. The measure of a political system rests in how it deals with what I call "The Asshole Problem." Political Anarchy does nothing to address The Asshole Problem, therefore the assholes would take over and ruin everything for everyone. Most political systems, the assholes end up in power. Political Anarchy would only work if there were no assholes. Assholes exist, therefore it would fail as a political philosophy.
How do you think Anarchists feel when they have to explain that their philosophy is about organizing without oppression and that it has nothing to do with throwing bombs, something we have become associated with because after someone threw a bomb Anarchists were blamed until the court later dropped the charade, told them that they were being prosecuted because of their beliefs and then proceded to excecute them, while they have "apoligized" we are still associated with the very thing that led to their death and every time anything comes up about the haymarket affair people ignore the historians that point out that the only reason people mobilized to get you the 8 hour work day was because the US government murdered my comrades. Please refrain from talking about politics when it's not relevant, especially when you have no idea what your talking about. If you had actually researched Anarchism you would understand why what you said is absolute bullshit.