Hey I am brand new to poly practice and am going through the same things except I am a man with a poly wife. I feel an urgent need to know from others if the feelings of being okay are just being distracted from the dread. Is this the case for you? I need to figure this out quickly because I am also very passive and giving and am kind of faking it until I make it. The longer this goes on the harder it will be to say that I can't be okay with things and ask them to break off a bond that keeps getting stronger. I'm about one week into this and its make or break time for this.