Recent content by Pigwidgeon

Thank you. It’s helpful just to know I’m not the only one. Speaking to friends helps a bit, but as mono people their response is often along the lines of “at least you’ve still got a husband” which does not help!! She’s not fine though, she’s gutted. It’d be easier if I felt like she just didn’t...

We have future plans for holidays with her and my family for this summer and next (which obviously won’t happen now). We both knew we could sleep with other people. She was very clear that she wanted only “casual” relationships (meaning not living in each other’s pockets, no relationship...

Partner has broken up with me after her new monogamous partner gave her an ultimatum. I am heartbroken. Hoping others have been through similar and might have stories to share or just words of support. Background: I met a girl this time last year and we became great friends. In September we...

Hi I’m working on a novel about a young couple opening up their relationship. I am trying to write the book I wish had existed for me - to show me it was possible, that my husband could read and enjoy (non fiction on a subject you’re not that interested in isn’t very alluring but an easy story...

Thanks everyone. Good to hear different points of view. I definitely think don’t ask don’t tell is a recipe for disaster so wanted to check we were far enough along the spectrum! It’s not so much that I’m desperate to give him all the gory details, more that it makes me happy and I want to tell...

My husband and I have got to a generally good place thanks, partly to lockdown forcing us to slow things down. He is mono (but I think still on apps so potentially open to more if the right person came along) and I am definitely poly. He still finds it difficult though, it’s more that he...

UPDATE: He is about to go on a spontaneous run with his brother! 🎉

Thank you, sounds like you can relate a lot!! I sent him this text yesterday and I do feel like it helped him take it on board a bit better: “I think I’ve had a revelation. You are really amazing at leaving me to it when I’m like this and I am super grateful for it. You don’t try and force me...

I don’t feel that he resents it, he just doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t want/need it himself (plus he gets it just because of how our lives work). I think he does understand that it’s not that I want to be away from him, but that I want to be alone, so I hope he doesn’t take it...

Yes I’ve seen the same counsellor recently and we’ve seen her together too. I’ve had a lot of major bereavement this year, home schooling, working in a very involved job, all the extra stresses of covid without the normal escape routes like nights out and holidays. I’m pretty good at dealing...

I’m really struggling to get my husband to understand my need for alone time. This has always been a bit of an issue, but has understandably become worse during lockdown. He works from home and doesn’t really go out unless we’re together so there is almost never a time when I am at home and he...

You took a long time to reach this point yourself, and you want it! It’s going to take her longer to get her head 'round something that’s not her own desire. I’d recommend her reading Untrue by Wednesday Martin as a way to explore her own desire a bit more, rather than her trying to understand...

Horrible position to be in! It’s so hard. If you really want to stay with your wife and try to find a polyamorous balance I think it’s possible - with a lot of patience! My husband has been incredibly understanding with me. He’s understood all the general theory, my specific reasons, the...

I have found mine a good initial test of compatibility- if they know my name is a Harry Potter reference then we usually get on!

1. Do you want an open relationship? Yes 2. Is your relationship stable and happy? Very 3. Are you an enthusiastic sex & relationship communicator? possibly over enthusiastic 🤩 4. How jealous are you? I’ve been lucky never to have been really hurt so don’t have any baggage/trust issues...