Recent content by Shyguy

In case anyone's wondering how things have turned out, we've decided to separate. It became clear as we went through couples therapy that the romantic feelings for me that my wife previously held weren't coming back. It's been a rocky few months, and my anxiety has been through the roof, but now...

Well I don’t intend to liveblog my relationship, but I think I was a little unfair to my wife in my posts earlier. We had the chance to debrief tonight after the couples therapy session, and we were really on the same page about supporting each other, aiming to be good with each other long term...

Thanks for this idea. I’ve actually considered this. A couple we know in our neighbourhood did this for many years actually and it seems like a good setup. Right now my wife would prefer to still be living together. She’s said it would be hard not seeing the kids every day (when she’s in town of...

One other note/question, and at the risk of overtherapizing or inviting further ire from some of you, I am pretty sure my wife would be classed as a serial monogamist. She’s never been single for long in her life, and moved quickly from one relationship to another. When we met, she was at the...

I thought I’d post an update here, more as an anonymous journaling exercise than anything else. Costa Rica was awesome, and it was a great reset. It was interesting to note that I found myself generally thinking about returning in a few years with my kids, rather than wishing that I was there...

Well, it’s been a week, and I think things are a little more stable, for now. We had a huge row a few days ago, which ended with me telling her that if we separated right now, there is no way it could be amicable, as I’ve been hurt so badly. This acted as a bit of a wake-up call, so we’ve agreed...

A brief update. My wife’s other partner came clean to his wife, and they have agreed to separate. It sounds like it was fairly amicable, which is good. In the meantime, he’s content to not push for any drastic decisions between my wife and I so that we can take our time to work out the best way...

Well I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago so the parental issue would be fairly clear at least…

I actually suggested it. Part of me just wants to be as far away as possible right now and avoid the whole situation rather than play happy families. Her family is great, there’s no bad blood, but it’s going to be hard for me to be there since they know. Her mum was supportive of her actions...

Thanks for the notes; it’s interesting to see the different reactions. The strange thing is that I (one guy, emotionally drained and no current interest in poly, scared of losing his wife) had made my peace with polyamory and nesting partners. Before she went on the two trips, I had felt very...

Thank you, I appreciate these words of wisdom and support.

Hi everyone, I'm new to posting, though I've been reading some posts on the forums off and on for a few months as I try to navigate my situation. Here's my story. I've been with my wife for almost fifteen years, and we're both in our late 30s. We were mid-20s when we met, and it was the most...