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It's hard to say, having heard only one side of the story, but on the surface it seems that, at the very least, he's not being sensitive to your feelings, and quite possibly not respecting your boundaries. (You haven't said whether you've discussed them with him). From the tone of your...

Agreed. In my mind, there's a big difference between me saying I expect to be treated with respect and I expect YOU to treat me with respect --But it's the word 'expect' that's got in the way, hence why I'm going to use a different word from now on. But no, I don't want to conduct my...

Ok, gotcha. I see the difference, but I think for me it is semantics, and I'll rephrase from now on, and not say ' I expect.'

I'm new to poly and I am still working out what my boundaries are. I feel as you do, that I don't want to put rules in place in a relationship. Guidelines may be appropriate though. For instance, I'm single, and so far I've only been interested in dating single people, as I don't like the idea...

It describes me. An American woman living in England. Someone at work referred to me as "That Yank bird" when I was new on the job, and didn't know how else to describe me.

Yes, Mighty Max, it wasn't strictly the once a month that was the issue. All other things being good, I'd be happy with quality time once a month. The issue was me feeling like I was the one putting in all the effort. As someone else said, I'd just made myself too available to him, and it was...

I've just taken my profile down today as I've got too much going on right now... But recently I got an interesting message. "Nice tit shot." (My main pic shows just a bit of cleavage.) I didn't reply, as much as I appreciated the compliment.

Once a week? I see him once a month, or less. Anyway, after reading and thinking through the thread, I've realised that the real issue is that this relationship isn't meeting my needs, which is in turn making me feel insecure. I've decided to walk away.

You've raised a good point and it's made me think about whether this applies to me. I'd say no, as my kids have never met anyone I've been dating yet. I'm going to be conscious of this though, and not let it happen. My comment about adult company was just a reflection of me feeling sorry for...

You're absolutely right. I'm not normally a co-dependent type, but I have been behaving that way recently, as I've had a couple pretty serious set backs, and have been feeling sorry for myself. Im going to start changing my attitude and behaviour. Today.

Ugh. What have I done? Not feeling good about this at all. Wish I could just let it go, but I'm stressing over the whole thing. Feeling like I have no support at all lately. I don't even really have my other partner as support, as he's just lost his mum, and has enough of his own stuff to deal...

Exactly this. So this morning I texted to him pretty much what you said (I used many of your words, thanks). He wasn't happy about it, but said he'd still like to get together soon. I agreed, but the thing is, I need to let him know when I'm available. (Childcare) Oops. If he doesn't initiate...

I'm going to say something to this effect, soon (tomorrow?). It feels risky to me, as My fear is that he may just be happy to let it go. But then I guess I'm better off without someone who doesn't really want to be with me, but just can't be bothered to say so.

I've done this recently, and it has helped. This might be the case. I'm in such a state now, that I'm not really sure what I need now. I'm a bit of a mess :-(

Thanks, reflections. I know that the answer lies within me. It's definitely a lack of self-confidence issue, and my emotional response is to say " show me you care, tell me I'm valuable!" I need outside validation, I'm not feeling it within myself... That's why I feel like withdrawing until I'm...

Thank you, dandyandy. That article was quite helpful.

Neither of us have regular or scheduled days with him. We 'wing it.' We're both a bit of distance away, I'm further. She goes to him, he comes to me... Although I'm happy to go to him, he prefers to come to me. Her work and family arrangements are a bit more flexible, and she can do week nights...

Yes. I love it here. Fully assimilated after 17 years! :rolleyes:

Hi. New to the forum, new-ish to poly. Female, 50, London. Single mum of 2 kids. Trying to balance kids/work/relationships, and looking forward to chatting and getting to know some of you here.

I'm really struggling with jealousy/envy lately because my guy has been seeing his other gf more often than he sees me. He sees the difference as slight, and says he doesn't prioritise one of us over the other. But, it's making me feel second best. I don't expect his attitude or behaviour to...