Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

LOL ...

Re (from Magdlyn):
"Oh, I dunno, maybe it's Maybelline?"
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LOLOL; okay.

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Straying a bit off-topic ... all these bad OKC pickup lines remind me of some funny pickup lines I found in a FetLife group.

ayo grl r u a beaver cause dam

Wanna get a pizza and fuck?
What?!? You don't like pizza?

If I were you then I would definitely have sex with me.

I bet you a hundred dollars you won't blow me.

I've done some horrible, unspeakable things while drunk, and I'd like to add you to that list.

I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U!

Girl, I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

Excuse me ma'am but I was blinded by your beauty when I walked in, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Did you fart? Because you blew me away.

Great legs! What time do they open?

Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
 
Well, Kevin, those are gross but cleverer than most. Here are some from today.

hi
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hi there
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have you wrongly type your age????you are too cute for it to be true....
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Hi how are you doing today,I'm glad for this opportunity to go through your profile, I would be happy to know more about you, I am a Architecture and works as a Building Contractor , i like dancing when am having fun with friends, i like drinking fruit/country wine and i love it so much...i go out to watch movies on weekends when i have time...., I would really like to know more about you and what you like please lets talk...Here is my email address on YAH ( [X] )..You can also feel free to text me [phone #] Hope to hear from you soon...
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Ungrammatical spam. How alluring.
 
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So many great opportunities! :)

Man is it just me or did a lot more people used to know how to speak English?
 
And another spam

My name is X..How about you?
I really enjoyed reading your profile, I think we have a lot in common & would be really nice to get to know some more about you! I exercise laughter on a daily basis, sometimes in front of the mirror and I count my blessings every night. I am positive, social, emotionally and professionally stable and I love what I do. I enjoy my life and am open and ready to meet the right person to share life’s adventures.. Loving unconditionally is a given.. Shall we talk? If you think i spark your interest,You can reach me on my personal email, i don't normal do this but i think you are nice and won't bite. here is my Y.A.H.O.O instant messenger X, also my cell number X will be hoping to read from you on my private email or you can send me a text
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How not to impress a woman
 
He doesn't normal do this. :cool:
 
kdt26417 said:
He doesn't normal do this. :cool:
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LOL! (Not in front of a mirror though)

I dunno, apparently it's okay because she won't bite...

Oh boy...
 
Sometimes I do bite, though, lol
 
Hey!! :) I would like to tell you that you are absolutely beautiful and I would like to know you more
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I replied, just for the hell of it.

As I said in my profile, comments on merely my looks will get you nowhere.
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I see you're very good in sex as you said in your profile. I wanna tell you that I have a ten inches dick if you would like to ride it
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Notice his focus, lol. I have a long profile with many interests listed, sex being one of them. Oh well, he's 21.
 
You know, while I love reading the goofy, odd or just plain strange online dating messages, I just want to acknowledge that I've been getting some good messages lately. Well-written, not text-speak, seem to have taken a stab at reading my profile and finding something to talk about with me. It's been nice.

And now back to the silly messages!
 
I've just taken my profile down today as I've got too much going on right now... But recently I got an interesting message.
"Nice tit shot." (My main pic shows just a bit of cleavage.)
I didn't reply, as much as I appreciated the compliment.
 
I am not active on OKC but never bothered to take down my profile. So occasionally I will get a random message. Since they are so infrequent, unless they are offensive (or stupid), I often respond with some polite chit-chat such as to this one:

Hey there- the Vee configuration is something that I'm fascinated by so I would love to get to know you- realize I'm far, but perhaps you are open to friendship? (Coincidentally, I used to live in the area)
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Apparently responding to this message bumped me to the "active" list because the next message was from a couple of unicorn hunters.:rolleyes:
 
How are you, I am X, i am single, new to the site and my attention was drawn down by your profile pictures and got attracted to your profile and found myself interested in it and i would love to know more about you if you don't mind. you are a beautiful woman

Please send me mail to my email address ( [email protected] ) So that i will send you more information about me and all you need to know about me and i will come and meet you . Hope to hear back from you
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He's from Hong Kong.
 
For some reason men from Turkey cruise my profile frequently. It's too bad Turkey is so far away - many of them are quite handsome!
 
I chatted with a local guy who was from Hungary, then we had one date. He was seemingly repelled by body fluids and wanted nothing except to be orally serviced. So, that was that.
 
I guess saliva and semen didn't count as disgusting body fluids, then?
 
I reactivated my account yesterday, because my best friend wanted me to give her some opinions on interested suitors. Of course, that means I start getting messages myself. Right at the top of my profile it says I'm not going to be dating anyone until after October, and at the bottom it says to not message me one word emails.

I've of course received many, many one word emails anyway.

One guy sent 7 or 8 messages over the course of today. "Hey." "Sup?" "Hi." "Hi again." "My name is Preston." "Interested." "Why aren't you answering?" "Ur a cutie."

Sigh. Die in a fire, Preston.
 
Tonberry said:
I guess saliva and semen didn't count as disgusting body fluids, then?
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Saliva on his penis seemed OK, but he rushed to wash up seconds after he came to get the cum off his dick. :rolleyes: He wouldn't even finger me. He used my vibrator on me for about 3 minutes.
 
Today's gem:

Hi... You are beautiful i bet am not the First to Say that and i will not Be the Last to say that...but i can assure you that i can be the only to Know the value and appreciate it as Much as you Want a Man to...Well i am "X". 6'4ft Tall loving caring romantic understanding passionate and respectful Man...Godliness makes me a distinctive man in world of Men....well i ran into you profile and something attracted my Interest...sorry can i get to know you better. There will be no Regret if we can be friends and you might be the world happiest Woman if you can hold me by the hands and telling me to take you through this life with Love and happiness...i Hate to take things too fast i just cant fight it...i am too blunt... Have you found Mr right? if no then write back thank you
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I do love a "Godly" man so am sorely tempted. ;)

Oh, and he's 2000 miles away.
 
I rarely get any OKC messages (which is fine, since I generally won't respond anyway), but recently I got this gem:

Hi, how are you doing there, I was just taking a glance at your profile and felt we could get more closer. Am here for a serious relationship and would like to get to know you better, you can give me your number so I can text you and get to know you.
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Oh, boy, can I really???

Not to mention my profile says I'm there mostly for friendship, nothing more.

Oh, and this guy lives in Texas...
 
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