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So much good feedback. It is awesome! Exactly, She is working on that as I am working on my insecurities. Hopefully when the next person pops up we will both have a better handle on it. That last whirlwind was the first time. I think my wife will sign up here soon. I have asked her to do more...

We are moving to L.A.T (living apart together i'm sure many here will be familiar) quite soon, in fact we applied for a second home rental today. This is for us the best time while no love interest is in R's life. One thing at a time! I am also sure this aspect of our story will come out soon...

Interesting thoughts, I do appreciate them. We did away with a ton of traditional newbie rules as we progressed in our opening up journey because we are aware of the innate problems with them. Perhaps you are correct about the one night 'rule' i mentioned being more about Really what he wants...

she likes the idea of polyamory, too, but she doesn't feel that polyamory is an innate feeling for her That would describe myself Lou88 R is very much true poly, it is love and connection she seeks along with the sex. For me, I could be poly perhaps if I met the right person but I would not...

Thank you Kevin. Yes I got shit scared, you nailed it. I am pro poly, i mean 'duress' as you mention it: I wish it was perhaps more sex driven experiences than falling in love. All of the comments have been good. I am impressed with the integrity I have already seen. On other relationship...

I need to be clearer on one point here I think. The ''3 or 4 nights'' situation was her ardently expressed desire, not her actions. In the midst of the whirlwind 100 mph NRE she certainly wanted it to be available and it is that that drove the instant fear in me. That and feeling like I just met...

We have talked briefly today about the speed and the one day a week thing, she is naturally in favor of a time limit to this type of restriction. We will also consider all of your comment on that. My fear is of being dumped and also of no longer being important to my wife. I accept that as MY...

Yes I can accept a different schedule. No it wont kill me if it was two nights. The NRE that first time led her to want to spend up to 4 nights away and 3 with me. I just could not deal with that. Yes, I need stability and routine that's all. We've had those conversations you speak of, still...

i mean, was it , is it unfair of me to place any restrictions going in that make me feel safer in the journey. I know casual sex is not for her, i dont expect her to be, just a wish 'sigh' that it would be easier to handle for me!! I had not thought about getting up to her speed. Interesting. I...

Thanks Galagirl. Yes this is all about my anxiety. Personality wise i am anxious preoccupied with a healthy does of abandonment issues! And YES, she would see this guy again in a heartbeat. They stayed platonic friends with the occassional coffee catch up and I am fine with that and his return...

thankyou, i feel safe here. The infatuation was mind blowing! I/ we expected it as we have actually done a LOT of reading several books, listended to a ton of podcasts... talked a lot first. My daughter is an a poly triad and we actually have a very good line of communication. Yes, i wish she...

thanks I agree she is not totally happy with that restriction although she can see where I am coming from. Yes it is coming from my jealousy and insecurity issues. Work I need to do. I have done a lot of work on that already, this one experience shell shocked me at how caught up she became...

Thank you for the welcome. I guess I am a partner of a poly person then. I'm not poly (at least not yet) as I prefer to see other people without emotional entanglement. There had been true consent to our relationship change. I initiated opening our 14 year relationship, the wife was on board...

I will think on that idea. It would give her light at the end of the tunnel as to when she might be able to step it up a notch and give me a firm time frame to sort out my own fears. thank you.

Hi All I truly hope this forum is a safe haven and helpful. My first post was introductory, ''I'm a PUD" Ok... Am I being unreasonable? This might get long winded but perhaps some backstory would be asked for if i neglect to put in in. We are in an open marriage. Began the trip about 3 years...

Male 57 married to wife 40. No kids. I am in an open marriage, I say Poly Under Duress because largely I wish the wife was more just open to adventures than being poly. I'll tell more of our story in other threads and over time... And I'm scared.