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I'm gonna reveal some not so great things I've discovered about myself in this post, but I'm trying to change my perspective I promise. My first relationship/friendship/metamour-ship didn't go so well. It went so not well that it contributed to Dean breaking up with Mary. There were several...

Icesong, Thank you for saying that. It's one of the trickier parts for me to explain/understand myself.

Ah crap. Now I bug an admin?

Here's the conclusion I've come to: I've come to an enlightenment: "After much soul searching I decided that only the days of our actual anniversary are sacred and if you want to make plans with Mary you should and if Sir wants to make plans with me He should. I never meant to hinder our other...

Thank you for taking the time to read both my posts to string together where I'm at. I'm gonna do my best.

Thank you for elaborating. I appreciate it. I understand what you're trying to say now.

Am I hearing that your version of polyamory is an all or nothing kind? In my situation you would invite one arm of the V to the anniversary of the othe hinge and other arm of the V? or would you just throw away anniversaries altogether? I'm interested in your point of view and would really...

Kevin, I think you've been around from my beginning and it means a lot to hear you say what you did. Thank you 😊

This has been really interesting. Thank you for sharing with me. My ideas about a lot of things are changing since opening and new thoughts on sleeping arrangements have come up.

Dean and I looked at the calendar and talked about the 10 days I won't be seeing Sir and the 12 days he won't be seeing Mary. This isn't a precedent that we are trying to set and all parties seem to be understanding. Mary and I have a budding friendship so we talk and Sir and I obviously talk...

Dean and my 7th year anniversary is coming up. I really like anniversaries so we have a few. The anniversary of our first lunch date, our first real date, our legal marriage (we eloped) and our ceremonial marriage for his family. (They were pretty upset we eloped) The first two are coming up in...

I'm seeing now that safe is probably not the right word for what I'm trying to express. What I want is a place where I can be free to do whatever I want to/need to without worrying how it affects anyone else. If I need to cry to process emotions I don't want to do it laying in bed with my...

Yes, I'm currently seeing a counselor on a regular basis. Life hasn't always been kind to me so I see her on a maintenance schedule. I plan on bringing my homework to her next time we meet so we can work on it together. Thank you for taking the time to help me with this. I realize in my...

They already have. I'm making pie charts. It's like I'm committed to this and myself and my partners or something 😝

I've read these. I will read them again though. Now.

I agree. I'm just not sure how to identify all the problems that are causing the feelings. I have been talking it out and that helps. Making a list sends me spiraling and that's no good. I know some are rooted in possessiveness. Like nothing is mine anymore. My house, my husband, my kids. I'm...

Lack of privacy and dominion is what I mean. I need somewhere to retreat and lick my wounds if need be. A place to process, cry if I need to. Somewhere I can let the yuck out without Dean having to bear witness. Somewhere I don't have to be with Dean if I'm feeling like I need to be alone.

Thank you for the reminder.

I am getting curious about other people's housing arrangements. My husband and I currently share a room (always have), but as we continue our poly journey I am feeling the need for space of my own. I need a safe spot for me to do whatever I need to. I don't feel I have that now. My house...

Currently packing my kids' lunches while Dean and Mary are walking the neighborhood. My mind races to places I don't want it to. Why can't I give Dean the same thing he's given me? I mean I guess in reality I am giving it to him. He was here, with her. I wound up having to take care of the kids...