Search results

I guess you could talk to him. 1-2 dates a week is not enough for you when he isn't seeing other people. How much time will he give you when he is dating other people? Was he dating other people when you were still married to the ex, and you were the hinge between the ex and the current...

He agreed. If one tells me that he does overnights with another partner, I don't think I need to question much for overnights (or so I thought??). If one tells me they want something longterm with intend to build, overnights are automatically the baseline. But that's the thing with dating...

I'm going to go with generic animal names, OK? I have a hard time with initials. If you want something else, I'm happy to go with what you pick. NRE lasts from 6-24 mos. This is 18 mos, so it may be you are seeing Emu without the rosy glasses now. I could be wrong, but whether or not Emu is...

I respectfully disagree that it would be a good beginning. I’m not leaving my cozy house to sleep on a couch in some monogamous lady's home with kids afoot. What FOR? I’m not going to spend the night in a house with a nesting partner and kids when I’m only three months into dating someone —...

I don’t know if this helps you. FWIW, these things really stuck out to me. Okay — he was up-front about having other partners. But he wasn’t up-front about being married to one of them before you met in person. And honestly… what does “40% of my time” even mean, in practical terms? Is that...

I'm glad things are a bit better for you since the original post. FWIW, this stuck out to me. What do you mean by "fully open triangle?" Would you please be willing to clarify? Is it like you, he and she are all aware this is polyamory, and that he's a hinge, and he's seeing you both? You...

I don't know if this helps you any. I mean this kindly, okay? Just because she poly-dated before you doesn't mean anything other than she poly-dated before you. She might not be great at it. This sounds like "poly hell" stuff, to me. https://www.kathylabriola.com/articles/are-you-in-poly-hell...

I see that you hurt, but I don't totally understand the timeline. Would you please be willing to clarify? Are you saying and you and your partner dated for 3 years, and last week you decided to open the relationship? And your partner is now dating and spending the night with this new lady from...

Why polyamory, though? Polyamory means "many loves," like, dating more than one BF/GF/partner person and sharing both romance and sex with them. You don't mention anything in your post about wanting to share love with a new person, or date them long term. Most of your post is about sharing sex...

Did you two ever actually talk about being monogamous, or did it just kind of happen by default? You’ve been dating for a year and have been friends for ten. It’s surprising that you haven’t had that conversation yet. That’s a pretty big piece of compatibility to leave unspoken. It’s possible...

In your shoes, I'd decline. The current deal is monogamy. I think if you are strictly monoamorous (want to love one sweetie) and monogamous (want to be in 1:1 relationships only, just two people), then don't get involved in a poly V or anything similar. It just won't work, because you will not...

Wow! I hope you feel a bit better for the vent. I'm glad you set a limit. I'm also glad your husband recognizes this relationship with the ex was toxic. I hope things are calmer for both of you now. GG

The woman is gone. Let it go. You could believe him that he is not. You are the one there. You know him. Is he in the habit of lying, pretending and hiding his hurt? Or is this what you do, so you figure other people do that? What really happened here? Someone asked you out while you were...

I don't know if my impressions could help you. FWIW? Are these like intrusive thoughts? Is the underlying thought "X will happen and I won't cope well," or similar? In case this helps you and you want to bring it up with your therapist...

GOOD. Glad you had the talk and the outcome was good. Galagirl

If he's got a wife, he's married, and that right there is a hierarchy. It might feel better to you if he owned and acknowledged that. Some long-term couples do "we" talk, like they are some kind of CoupleBlob. When you say: ... you are asking him on a date, not her. And him talking like...

You can always say, "Partner, I'm making you aware. I've done this monogamy thing for __ long. I won't be doing it any more. I'm going back to polyamory. If that means we are no longer compatible, I prefer to part as peacefully as possible, under the circumstances." You don't have to do things...

What behavior are you doing? Who asked you this? Husband, teen, someone else? Is it that this teen is more into your husband than you? The legs of a triangle don't always develop in the same way. On the other hand, all sides don't have to be the same in order for the triangle to be stable...

I don't know if this helps you any. I mean this kindly, ok? It sounds like she's 3 years sober and you are 2 years sober. You don't have to say online, but have you both repaired enough from all that? Why would this be the best time to try something new like ENM? Are you both solid enough for...

I'm sorry things are rocky still. :( Did you actually agree to monogamy with the remaining partner since the break up? Or they assumed this since the break up? Because people break up in polyamory and they are still doing/seeking polyamory. It doesn't "automatically" become monogamy when...