Interested in a change of direction. But how?🤔

S

shadowman&princess

New member
It's so weird to me, yes, disturbing at times, that I have thoughts of wanting to be with another woman 👠 sexually, even though I have a lovely lady of 7 years. You know, and I have described this to my lady, being with a different woman sexually is just nice! Different smell, different taste, different sounds, different personalities, something NEW! To me that's so exciting! It's not that I wanna ditch my lady for another woman, it would be nice to change things up a bit ya know? I believe my lady is on the same boat I am with this so that's why we had thought about polyamory.
 
Why polyamory, though? Polyamory means "many loves," like, dating more than one BF/GF/partner person and sharing both romance and sex with them. You don't mention anything in your post about wanting to share love with a new person, or date them long term.

Most of your post is about sharing sex with a new person just for the new experience/novelty to change things up. Could another form of non-monogamy suit you better? Maybe you and Lady talk that out. What KIND of non-monogamy? Polyamory is only one kind.

Once you figure out what you want, then you can figure out how to seek it, be it swinging, sex clubs, kink, ENM, casual sex, open, polyamory, etc. It may be you want more than one kind.

It might also be good for each of you to make your own account on here rather than sharing one.

Galagirl
 
shadowman&princess said:
It's so weird to me, yes, disturbing at times, that I have thoughts of wanting to be with another woman 👠 sexually, even though I have a lovely lady of 7 years. You know, and I have described this to my lady, being with a different woman sexually is just nice! Different smell, different taste, different sounds, different personalities, something NEW! To me that's so exciting! It's not that I wanna ditch my lady for another woman, it would be nice to change things up a bit ya know? I believe my lady is on the same boat I am with this so that's why we had thought about polyamory.
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Hi and welcome. You seem to be a bit confused about what polyamory is. That's okay. Most people are when they first start exploring it.

Love does not equal sex. So, if you just want sex with someone new, and aren't interested in actually loving someone else, you don't want polyamory. You want casual sex, swinging, an open marriage.

And remember, a new person won't be new forever. If you date a person for a while, say, a year or more, she becomes familiar, and the excitement of the new (which, if it's an actual dating relationship, we call "new relationship energy" or NRE) wears off, and then you're back to square one.

Also, another thing about trying to openly date another woman, when you're a married man, is that most women out there will not want to date you, even casually. Most women won't believe your wife actually consents to you having sex with other women. Oddly, in our culture, women would prefer to date a man who is cheating on his wife secretly, rather than one who is doing it with the consent of his wife!

I highly suggest you read the book Opening Up to learn about the different forms of ethical non-monogamy, and how to practice them. So far, you're just fantasizing, which is barely relevant to real life dating.
 
Hello shadowman&princess,

It is actually fairly common to desire people other than your partner/spouse. Monogamous programming makes us think it is freaky, but deep down a large majority are polyamorous and/or cut out for nonmonogamy. The trick is to do it with knowledge and consent. Which is widely frowned upon, most people think cheating is better. It's a dysfunctional world.

Just my 2¢,
Kevin T.
 
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