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Can you elaborate? I feel like it's happened to me, but I can't think of any specific examples.

I'm going to start seeing a therapist specializing in polyamory next Wednesday. I'm beyond excited. I've made a little goal list: - Release old therapist energy. She didn't understand that poly isn't a choice and thought that because I'd come out to everyone I was no longer in need of a poly...

I asked my therapist to sign me up with a poly therapist and she basically said I didn't need one because everybody in my relationships knew. But I do. Coming out isn't the end, it's the beginning. I told her I had a lot of "how" questions. I had to explain that this isn't a choice for me. And...

See? That's what I thought. Somebody I know thinks he's poly. But all he was doing was cheating. He's monogamous. He just cheated. Also, even if he is poly, I feel like it's rude to come out so close after another person does. Don't steal their thunder.

I was on the phone with my bf tonight when he came out to me as poly. But when he explained it, it sounded like cheating. Where do you draw the line?

You have a point!

She's an adult, but I get your point. As for my bf, I didn't know I was poly when a lot of this happened. I didn't know the terminology or "rules" (for lack of a better word). And it doesn't sound like splitting hairs. Language has power. I want to use it correctly.

I first saw it in high school, but I kept it from others. I "knew" it was wrong. I tried to squish it down and I did, until about 18 when I met the father of my kids. I loved him. That said, I was also spending time and having sex with a friend of his. My bf was aware 100% and I had his...

Exactly! This isn't a fun thing I'm trying on. It is a real, deeply-rooted part of myself

I hear some people call polyamory a lifestyle. But it doesn't feel like a lifestyle to me. To me it's a given, a part of what makes me who and what I am.

I feel like that comforts me more than it should, but I suspect that that's just my monogamous programming...

The urgency comes from my desire to feel normal (or maybe we should call it baseline). Beyond that, I don't like keeping secrets. I'm horrible at it. I also feel very lost and am yearning for a light in the dark.

Every word of it was helpful. Thank you for your time. I'm out to my dad, daughter, caregiver, and my bf of almost two decades. Only two left! I'm considering, at some future point, coming out to my friends on Facebook. Can you be born poly? Because you don't really have a concept when you're...

There's a lot of, "How did this happen?" "I used to judge these people and somehow I'm one of them. What a hypocrite..." "OMG I have to tell (some) people!" "How do I explain this?"

That's what I've heard, that you're less likely to hurt me. As I said, while I've been doing poly things for several years, I only recently realized I was poly (although it seems everyone but me knew lol). I am looking for any port in the storm right now.

I'll ask her! 😊

He is and will be. He has never resisted me doing this.

Good point. I think I've just been triggered by some bad experiences on reddit. There was some gatekeeping and I hoped by finding one good friend/mentor that I'd have somebody to consult with and unload on. I'm in counseling for an unrelated issue. I came out to my therapist, but I felt like...

I do know about professionals. I also know I'm poor, so I'm trying to find a mentor this way.

Years ago, my bf was in jail. He told me as long as I asked him first, he wouldn't consider it cheating. So I was with a longtime friend who took care of me in so many ways, including emotionally. My bf of over a decade is now in prison. My longtime friend and I had an argument and he left my...