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  1. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    GG, Thank you for the help. I realize there is more in your post to chew on, but this gets to the heart of answering my question. The relationship failed, due to Red being upset about the intrusion of outside forces into their 'fantasy' relationship. I get it, having a leaky hinge can be...
  2. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    I'm asking if Red and Blue, working towards a 'fantasy' or 'ideal' relationship while not allowing outside relationship distractions from Orange and Purple, would be healthy in the beginning portion of a new relationship. Or would it be healthy to acknowledge outside relationship issues from...
  3. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    GG, you are almost there. I've augmented your clarified relationship above to give more context. Red is already in a committed relationship, and so is Blue. Then Red and Blue meet... This definitely was a poly relationship. I'm not even sure how this would work in a mono relationship. By...
  4. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    Definitely, I agree. My question is geared more towards thinking about an 'ideal' or 'fantasy' relationship, while shielding the 'fantasy' from outside influences. This is the way I see it. Lots of people have an 'ideal' relationship in their head. Fine, it helps you identify what you want...
  5. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    I'll clarify. The partner themselves wouldn't be a distraction, but any relationship issues between Partner Set A or Partner Set B would be considered a distraction and 'ignored' by Partner Set C. I think the word 'shield' and 'shielding' might be more appropriate. Although to me it would...
  6. Ostrich

    Fantasy vs Reality

    First, I am not sure what should be the title for this thread, so bear with me. I will do my best to describe this situation, then pose the question. Two people meet and are mutually attracted to each other. So much so that one of the persons has the goal of structuring the relationship based...
  7. Ostrich

    My boyfriend doesn’t want me if I’m poly

    Carol Merrill, show us what's behind door #3! I have the potential to be shown door #2 as I am sure at some point in the future, DAG will want to have sex with someone else without including me. That's the deal breaker for me. HLS, be very honest with yourself regarding what you want. If you...
  8. Ostrich

    Am I a Cuckold?

    So she says. From OP's initial post, it seems she knows Truth only in passing. I would take what she says with a whole lake full of salt. Once someone shows their true selves, they tend to stay that way for a very long time. As far as cuckolding, there are probably more women into it than...
  9. Ostrich

    Instigating and myths

    DAG and I briefly talked about opening up our marriage and finding a third, but that discussion didn't go anywhere. We are always up for a threesome in bed, however we should have kept the conversation going on finding a permanent third. I think continuing talks would have made required...
  10. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    Teach paid us a visit this weekend. He took us to a concert Saturday night and we all had a great time. His visit gave me more insight as to his relationship with DAG. They are still emotionally connected and DAG has told me he wants to have sex with DAG. I know I would be envious if that...
  11. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    @arctic thank you! We are definitely now monogamish. DAG now has been talking to a 'new' friend for almost a year. DAG has hung out with him a few times and even gave him a birthday cake. I know they are close and want to get physical, but I trust DAG to not have sex with the new one (I'll...
  12. Ostrich

    Talked to Mono Partner - Totally Heartbroken :''(

    First, I read all the posts, however, reading comprehension is not my strong suit, so I might have misunderstood some posts. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. To the discussion about your wife's 'transition' to a different type of relationship. I agree, transition may not be the correct...
  13. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    A quick update. I had a significant break through during therapy last week. Again, it was me realizing that I was forcefully submerging an emotion I was denying existed. Once my therapist and I walked through it, I felt more free than I have in a year almost 2 years. Here's it is for all to...
  14. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    Very good point. I am working to let it go. This blog helps, along with the feedback from you guys. Now that my thoughts are out in the ether, it makes it easier to let go. Things with DAG have gotten better, so there is some tangible progress. My personal counseling sessions are going well...
  15. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    So something that DAG kept telling me, really gnawed at me. His statement was: I love you and I want to spend all my time with you. I have an issue (or maybe issues) with that statement. Why was he dating Bruiser and Fisticuffs if he wanted to spend all his time with me? I've held back on...
  16. Ostrich

    Metamour doesn't ackowledge me

    Peachy, I'll give you my two cents from the perspective of the meta who does not give a shit about their hinge's sex crazed love daddies. First, as stated by other board members, do not take it personally. Her wanting to not meet you may be based on other relationship dynamics with her...
  17. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    So New York wants to start a book club with some like minded guys to read The Ethical Slut. I'm in. However, I have reservations. When DAG was dating B and F, they very strongly recommended that we read it, especially the section on jealousy. While I know they did not intend it, I felt...
  18. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    I was off on a stay-cation last week. I haven't had any time off from work since New Year's. Anyway, during the week off, DAG and I decided to host Teach's birthday party at our house. Teach agreed, as he was tired of planning his own birthday parties. He provided a guest list, and I sent out...
  19. Ostrich

    Change in all the areas of my life...

    IceSong, happy belated birthday!! Also, great post and glad to know I'm not the only one who has some issues to work out regarding a partner's sexual needs and wants. I'll post about a birthday party DAG and I had for Teach and my one-on-one time with Teach. Thank you for sharing!
  20. Ostrich

    Irony Is Dead

    Happy Anniversary to The Apology! Today is the anniversary of the day I sent The Apology to Bruiser. What a fuck up on my part. I'll explain. Back in January of 2020, Bruiser invited me over to their place to play video games. I acted like a kid in junior high school, all excited that I...
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