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Hello, my experience was/is that we started our three person group doing what we thought was kitchen table poly. What distilled from that (5 years later) was a FMF V type relationship. We do all live together. The most important thing is to manage the allocation of time. attention and...

Sorry it took a while to get back to here. My metamour was staying with my partner (before we married) due to a housing crisis that she had. It was supposed to be temporary. I agreed at the time that she should stay, never thinking that it would become permanent. This was in 2019-2020...

There are some days when I feel like I am in a poly relationship that is "under duress". My husband is poly, I am not. He has chosen to have one of his other partners live with us and several others will visit for a few days at a time. The relationships between my metamours and I span the...

Thank you. K is (and has been) in therapy for a few years. We will keep hoping that she will start to feel more secure soon.

My metamour, K (65) wants my husband, B (67) to adopt her. They had a handfasting ceremony in April but it hasn't filled the enormous hole in K's psyche. And she wants to make sure she is in line for an inheritance someday. B has assured her that she will be looked after. She still feels...

I guess it just boggles the mind to think that some people like to argue. For me, it has been something to avoid at all costs! But, you may be correct. Fireworks attract some people!

My partner, B, and I have been together for 10 years and married for one. He has another partner, K, who he recently hand fasted with. We all live together in a V relationship. B and I rarely disagree about much and when we do, we tend to be able to talk things out. I treasure and value...

Kevin, The hand fasting ceremony between Kay and B was last month. It was held at our house, with a small group of our friends and family. It was a lovely ceremony. I had a few moments of overwhelming feelings, but I was glad that Kay had her special day.  Opal

Kevin et al, Update #2 Kay and my husband B have set a date for their hand fasting for early next year, so now she can have her special day too. We are all still living together... so far, so good! K and I still can't talk, because of all the hurt in the past, but we are navigating a poly V...

A quick update-- B and I were married last month and we are starting our life together. Kay is still with us. I still check in here for all the good ideas that are offered. Thank you!

I am getting married to my long term partner this year. We are signing a pre-nup as we have significant assets in two countries. We will be careful to create wills that make sure everyone is looked after. Will it change things? The big things won't change... we are still living the poly life...

Galagirl, thank you so much. Your reply (and the others) have given me much to think about and to plan for my return to the US in January. I am truly understanding that my boundaries are mine to have/keep, not anyone else!

Well, it seems that our decision to go ahead with our wedding has not set well with my metamour, K. She is now "suggesting" that we have no ceremony if she can't be part of it. I am in the middle of planning a small beach wedding ceremony. I have been explaining to K for the last 10 months...

Kevin, You are correct. I wish I had been consulted. I wish I had known how territorial Kay would be about the house. Now I just need to figure out what to do next. Kay and I were such good friends before she moved in. I hope to figure out a way to get back to that, or at least to a point where...

Marcus, you are correct, there are some unresolved issues and I am not sure how to "fix" the problem. Or even if it is my problem to fix. I am very attached to B...... we have been together for 10 years (mostly in a LDR) and marrying him is something I really want to do. Now that I am...

Update: B and I have decided to go ahead with our wedding as we had originally planned, and B and Kay will do their handfasting ceremony at a different date. Kay wasn't totally happy and I am sad that she feels left out. She is still deciding whether or not she will be at our ceremony so I am...

In my situation I was the one to listen when my partner M said he wanted to practice poly. We have been in a long distance relationship for 10 years, with me being able to go and stay with him for months at a time. He has always had spanking and D/s play partners that he was close to and we...

I sympathize with your anxiety in feeling like your partner will see her husband as more important than you when they get married. I don't think that will always be the case!

Frankie, thanks for the ideas and thank everyone else also. I now have a few options to take to our kitchen table meetings. I think having a low key wedding first and then a hand fasting with all the family/friends would work.

One of the biggest hurdles to mono/poly is searching your heart and deciding if the idea of someone else making him as happy as you do is something you can live with. There will be constant sharing, both time and affections. Be able to stand on your own.