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For me this advice is so spot on. I have been through the same feelings, and you have my sympathy and love. But you must be positive. Don't concentrate on what your partner does with someone else but the 100s of brilliant things they do with you. For me reading More than Two and for bith of us...

I agree, a forced triad will not work. You must develop your own relationship male or female organically. I personally have some doubts about male driven MFF triads, are they a cop out that allows the make to play with the opposite sex but not the women? An open V may be more appropriate but...

That was what I was trying to say, that with hindsight I may consider how and when we told certain people, although you said it far more eloquently.

Agree 100%, just wasn't expecting it!

I sort of understand where you are coming from on this and it can hurt, when your partner does something special for a metamour. But is does happen its human nature and love/lust whether its the cleaning, special cooking, lingerie etc. It doesn't mean he values you less. My partner spends a lot...

Presently I (and I hope we) find it very beneficial to our marriage. There are a number of reasons, some of which may be specific to us, but here goes. 1. I absolutely adore my partner, Angel, and since she has been polyamorous, she has been happier, and what makes her happy also genuinely...

Our biggest shock about coming out was the reaction of a few people. Generally the reaction was very positive with only one real negative, a close friend couple who have since ostracised us. What I did not expect was that we may expose relationship issues for other people. One very close...

Don't think it would be for me either. Never been keen either on silly party games when you end up having to do something even slightly intimate with stranger. Love cuddling close friends and relatives though.

As we are taking labels I think you need to consider what you would mean by "successful" or "problem free". As a committed feminist I could never see a relationship that was unequal in its rights, restrictions and obligations on different sexes as problem free or successful. I would judge a...

We felt the same as we found that had we wanted to kept it secret we would all have had to tell lies. This would not sit well with the idea of ethical polyamory.

I can see how this can be difficult for you. All I can suggest is that you keep trying to communicate and explain and do it in small bite sized chunks. Perhaps with a bit of time things will improve. There is a chapter in More Than Two on mono/poly relationships which may well help you deal with...

Len, I could challenge many of the assertions in your posts that seem designed to be controversial and counter to most of what I have read, heard and experienced. However, This is very sexist and nonsense. Partners of any gender or orientation who can support their partner fulfil their...

It's unfortunate that the constraints of society have made you feel like a bad person, you are definitely not. You may have a long journey ahead, but it is one that can be made successfully, and by identifying your feelings and desires you have made the first and bravest step.

Me neither.

Two reasons. When I was a kid in the UK we used to live in ZigZag Road (it really exists) and then I read a book about a WW2 Spy called Agent ZigZag.

I think one of the fun things about open honest ethical relationships is that you can sleep together, and I mean sleep and wake up next to a lover, which to me is a fantastic thing. So we definitely use the phrase sleeping together to mean going to bed at bedtime with a lover, yes Sex may or...

I can only comment from my own experience. We have moved from monogamy to polyamory, so far successfully. But this was after about 2 years discussion, research and reflexion first and previous unsuccessful attempts at other approaches. We feel we started this with what we considered a rock...

One new development is that Wolf has just obtained a brilliant TV assignment in Latin America for 90 days that will be fantastic for him. He will be back once or twice but will need to leave from Paris. So now, if logistics work, they will go to Paris for a few days from where Angel will wave...

Yup it is. More than likely not version control or design control has gone wrong and one version is out of date or the developers of one UI have not implemented the same policies as the developers of the other. So much for separating content from presentation.

Would be quite normal for us. And like you I have never had jealous feelings in these group situations. We do have 3somes occasionally and that works for us, obviously not for everyone.