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I think you can also underestimate the impact of making your partner happy. I am the (currently) mono partner of a poly women and I have been her partner for a long time. Her expressing her poly feelings and acting on them (I.e having a lover as well as a husband) has certainly made her a lot...

I no longer have any idea what label I should give myself as it dawned on me it doesn't really matter. It does help when you explain yourself to other people but beyond that don't let labels define who you are.

I agree. For many years we struggled because we thought we could bring other people into our relationship that we would both have a close affinity with, it proved impossible. No matter how close we were/are the idea that we would find a third person or couple that we would both...

Really try hard not to compare yourself to someone else. In my experience other lovers will be different, not better, not worse, just different. How do you know he turns her on like you never could? Has she told you this, are is it just what you have imagined? Try and concentrate on what...

I am newish to poly too, and its my partner/wife who has a boyfriend. I am not saying what we have done/do will work for everyone as we have been together for a long time, but in terms of sex acts with her partner (whom she loves deeply) I trust her and if she trusts him in terms of STIs etc...

As one side of a V, after many years of monogamy I feel I have coped really well with my wifes journey into polyamory. I feel I have, with the help of this site, and Franklin Veaux's book, been on top of emotions and managed things that have blindsided me. But two situations have occured that...

Hello, Bluesun. I'm newish here so can't give you the answers from experience that others can. I had many of the questions you had, as I am the partner of a loving and lovely polyamorous women. I found an awful lot of those questions were answered by reading the book "More than Two" or if they...

Not the slightest bit unhappy. Think it's quite cool.

Really, a million thanks for the advice. Which is very consistent and is what I am doing, but its nice to have your actions and thoughts validated. Its just not something that I had imagined would be an issue when we embarked on this journey.

My wife is in her 1st poly/open relationship and you can read about our journey, here http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73017 As things have become stable, I feel that her NRE ended this week and she is in her words "normalizing" the relationship. After such an exciting (and for...

Thanks for the replies. Not so worried about the labels. Just finding my way.

Took an unusual turn this weekend. Her OSO stayed over friday night, but weather was so foul we invited him to stay for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon my sweetheart went for a nap and me and her lover spent the late afternoon making dinner, having a really good time, real quality time. For...

Neither my wife or her partner dominates me at all. There is no abusive or dominant element. Now and again, I think of myself as a cuckold, but not in a bad way. I suppose my question was driven by some element of guilt from enjoying myself in a threesome situation, which seems to be so outside...

As a significant other who has been going through the same process, I found Frankin Veux's book and web site/blog on Polyamory and techniques for dealing with anxiety and jealousy massively helpful. If you can get you SO to look at these it may help. I would also say small steps, even tiny steps...

My wife is poly and I am currently mono. (Am I poly as well? Whole different debate). I was wondering what the difference is between me being the partner of a poly women, and being a cuckold. Equally, does it matter?

OK. So 3 way meeting over lunch went very well. Ground rules and logistics discussed and easily sorted. Nice afternoon and evening spent together plus they had some private time after which we all played trivial pursuit, watched a movie, had supper, and had a play together. We are all now going...

Well it does tug quite a lot. Sometimes more than others, and sometimes at the most unexpected or trivial thing, while supposed "big" things like phsycal intimacy and sex can seem fine. A really silly thing happened the other week, her boyfriend referred to her by her full maiden name, with...

Thanks SmileTexas I mentioned the idea of "dayovers" as an interim step to my partner and she was impressed with the idea. At the moment they don't have stayovers with me not in the house but I am in a different bedroom. She is not ready for full stayovers either yet. Most "all nighters" have...

Hi, I'm the male part of a couple who's wife "F" has entered into a loving poly relationship. We are both in our early 50s, been sweethearts since school and married for 32 years. We are both still very fit and active. We have been monogamous for all our lives apart from one incident of...