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Please give yourself a break. Your number one need right now is self-compassion. I went through similar feelings this summer. I've identified as poly since I learned the term, and I was upfront with my husband about it when we met. He wasn't familiar with it, but he learned to cope. But he...

Correction: You're the only man you know who identifies as polyamorous and demisexual. In our culture, it's socially expected that you go on a few dates with someone before you drop your pants, and people who sleep with others on the first date are considered slutty and easy. I think this is a...

I'm not a fan of threesomes. They're not for everybody. I lose my mind during sex and I can barely concentrate on myself and one other person. I can relate to the adjustment of your husband going from "another woman is too much work" to playing with another woman. My husband and I have been...

Absotootly! My ex-gf and I had a romantic non-sexual relationship. A lot of people would ask, what's the difference between that and just friends? It's hard to put into words, but it's different. For example, we'd still kiss on the lips hello and good-bye. We cuddled and held hands. And just the...

Nah that's just the reset button.

Light bulb moment! This is the exact problem I ran into with my last girlfriend. We had different definitions of "casual." We were both married and had our lives arranged around that, so we agreed we were never going down "that" road. But I think that's where her definition of casual ended. She...

Not exactly parallel, but maybe helpful... Hubby and I have always lived pretty separate lives, even while married. As in, more nights spent sleeping in separate beds than together. He works on the railroad and I was in school. Finished school in February and have been travelling ever since...

This is so self-centered, I can't even get my head around it. You're not actually that important. When I'm with my loved ones, I'm barely aware that there are other people around, let alone behaving solely for their benefit. But hey, if your self-esteem needs you to believe you're the centre...

This is resonating with me, from the other end. I suspect I sometimes hurt people this way more than they let on... I'm very spontaneous. I have a bad habit of making plans and then not wanting to keep them when the time comes, because I'm no longer in the mood. I think it would be nice if I...

I'm truly sorry you feel that way. How depressing one's life must be when something as wonderful and intimate as physical touch with a person you love is perceived as insecurity and possessiveness, simply because those two people happen to be in a public setting. That's just so... Sad.

I'm a big fan of "Home as Sanctuary." I believe that everyone has the right to feel safe and comfortable in their home, and that agreeing to live with someone means respecting this right by not bringing people over who make your housemates uncomfortable, or not keeping them there so long that...

While I'm someone who prefers to meet anyone my husband is having an ongoing relationship with, romantic or kink or otherwise, I don't consider that a boundary. Boundaries are one's rules for one's self. "If people do such-and-such behaviour around me, this is how I will react." I consider...

Cool story. I'm not getting any red flag vibes, which is a good sign. It doesn't sound like the usual "My wife and I are searching for a magical third to add to our relationship." It seems to be one of those organic, happened-naturally type of things. It also sounds like your wife is actually...

I personally subscribe to the "Home as Sanctuary" philosophy. More than anything, I believe people should feel safe and comfortable in their own home, even if that home is shared with their partners. That means I believe that if someone doesn't want someone else around, then the other people who...

Keeping in touch One of the really nice things has been that he's somehow been a poly superstar, without any practice. He texts her day and night, but if I didn't know that, I wouldn't suspect anything. He still phones me often while he's working, just to say hi, sometimes just to sit there and...

Missed the chance to grow? Last night was interesting. I'm in another city helping my mom move. Grammar finished work late, but he and house elf had discussed the possibility of her coming over that evening for some housekeeping and a massage. I found it helpful, before she came over, to ask...

Check-ins and reality checks One thing that's really helping me get used to the paradigm shift is check-ins. I had a perfect opportunity for this one the other day. So for background, when Grammar and house elf met at the kink weekend, they played for hours their first time. When Grammar...

Wifey the submissive? This is new. And so weird. One of the absolutely most fascinating and exciting aspects of this whole new thing has been the amazing shift in our marriage. On so many levels. In so many ways. So much fun! Even though Grammar and I met at a fetish ball, kink has never been...

Compersion is a thing? At first I thought it was super hot. He was telling me snippets here and there. I was still thinking of it as play with maybe a few perks. He was obviously really charged up by the whole thing, he had so much vibrancy and energy. It was so much fun to see him blossom and...

I'm going to brain dump some stuff here. This post will introduce the topic, and I'll put more of my inner thoughts and workings in comments below. Husband: Grammar His new submissive: house elf Grammar has always been just interested in play, and expressed no desire for ongoing or romantic...